7 Ways to Be Insufferable on Facebook

facebook news feed

The memory is vivid.

New Year’s Day, 2013. I’m going about my afternoon pleasantly, when I open my email and a friend has forwarded me what she calls a particularly heinous Facebook status from her news feed, written by someone we’ll call Daniel. It read:

2012 was a biggg year for me. I left my amazing job at NBC to move back to Chicago. I started dating my angel, Jaime Holland. I started yoga (thanks Jake Fisher & Jonah Perlstein!). I wrote an album with Matthew Johannson. Wrote another album I’m proud of. I got to hang with Owen Wilson, and worked with Will Ferrell on an amazing project. Had a conversation about Barack Obama with David Gregory. Danced. Joined a kickball team. Won a couple awards. Helped my sister plan her summer trip. Swam a lot. Golfed a little. Cried more than you would think. Read The World According to Garp. Saw Apocolypse Now. Went to Miami for the NBA Finals. Drank the best orange juice I’ve ever had with Davey Welch. Tweeted. Went to amazing weddings in Upstate New York. Drank a ridiculous amount of milk. Learned how to make sand art. Saw a great light show. Saw the Angels and Lakers. Fell in love with Jawbone Up. Cooked with Jaime. Gardened with Jaime. Watched Homeland with Jaime. Wrestled with Jaime. Laughed for hours with Jaime. Fell in love with Jaime’s family. Worked on a play. Played World of Warcraft. Did some improv. Played a ton of the guitar. Really just had a wild, amazing year. What a world.

By the time I finished reading, I realized that my non-phone hand was clutching tightly to my forehead, forcefully scrunching my forehead skin together. I had the same facial expression I’d have on if someone made me watch a live event where people had their skin slowly peeled off.

It was everything bad about everything, all at once.

But instead of distancing myself from the horror, I soaked in it. I read it again and again, fascinated by how something could be so aggressively unappealing.

It made me think about what makes terrible Facebook behavior terrible, and why other Facebook behavior isn’t annoying at all. It comes down to a pretty simple rule:

A Facebook status is annoying if it primarily serves the author and does nothing positive for anyone reading it.

venn diagram: only posts that do something positive for the reader are unannoying

To examine this a bit, let’s start by discussing the defining characteristics of statuses that are not annoying.

To be unannoying, a Facebook status typically has to be one of two things:

1) Interesting/Informative

2) Funny/Amusing/Entertaining

You know why these are unannoying? Because things in those two categories do something for me, the reader. They make my day a little better.

Ideally, interesting statuses would be fascinating and original (or a link to something that is), and funny ones would be hilarious. But I’ll happily take mildly amusing—at least we’re still dealing with the good guys.

On the other hand, annoying statuses typically reek of one or more of these five motivations:

1) Image Crafting. The author wants to affect the way people think of her.

2) Narcissism. The author’s thoughts, opinions, and life philosophies matter. The author and the author’s life are interesting in and of themselves.

3) Attention Craving. The author wants attention.

4) Jealousy Inducing. The author wants to make people jealous of him or his life.

5) Loneliness. The author is feeling lonely and wants Facebook to make it better. This is the least heinous of the five—but seeing a lonely person acting lonely on Facebook makes me and everyone else sad. So the person is essentially spreading their sadness, and that’s a shitty thing to do, so it’s on the list.

Facebook is infested with these five motivations—other than a few really saintly people, most people I know, myself certainly included, are guilty of at least some of this nonsense here and there. It’s an epidemic.

To lay out the most common types of offenses:

7 Ways to Be Insufferable on Facebook


1) The Brag

Bragging is such a staple of unfortunate Facebook behavior, it needs to be broken into three subsections:

1a) The “I’m Living Quite the Life” Brag

stick figure looking pleased with himself

Description: A post making your life sound great, either in a macro sense (got your dream job, got your degree, love your new apartment) or a micro sense (taking off on an amazing trip, huge weekend coming up, heading out on a fun night with friends, just had an amazing day)


  • Guess who just got her TFA acceptance letter!!!
  • Hawaii!
  • Tailgating, Giants game, night out with Dave, Matt, Paul, and Andy. I love you, Saturday.

Core reasons for posting: Image Crafting (I’m successful; I’m happy; I have a great social life), Jealousy Inducing

So at best, you’re just really excited about your life and you need to tell everyone, and at worst you’re specifically hoping to make people feel worse about their lives and jealous of yours. Somewhere in the middle would be you calculatingly crafting your words as part of an unendearing and transparent campaign to make people see you in a certain way.

Let’s give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re just excited and need to brag to someone. Even if that’s the case, the only people it’s okay to brag to in life are your close friends, significant other, and family members—and that’s what email, texting, phone calls, and live talking are for. Your moment of self-satisfaction is profoundly annoying to people you’re not that close with, and they make up the vast majority of people who will be subjected to the status.

1b) The Undercover Brag

stick figure wearing mask

Description: Like the blatant brags above except behind a frail disguise. This includes all humblebrags, indirect brags, brags disguised as a rant, etc.


  • Apparently they now give PhDs to frauds and drunks. What a time to be alive!
  • I’ll be traveling for the summer if anyone knows someone looking to sublease a Soho apartment in July and August.
  • On my walk home from work, I was whistled at twice, honked at twice, and one car almost caused an accident slowing down to stare at me. Sometimes I really hate men.

Core reasons for posting: Image Crafting, Jealousy Inducing

On one hand, these people are at least self-aware enough to cloak their brag in something. On the other hand, they have the same exact core motivations as the blatant braggers and looking at these examples actually makes the first group seem almost lovable in comparison.

1c) The “I’m in a Great Relationship” Brag

Stick figure with hearts floating around head

Description: A public expression of your extremely positive feelings for your significant other or an anecdote signifying the perfection of your relationship.


  • A surprise trip to Vermont for two nights in a cabin. All I can say is Wow, what a boyfriend.
  • Thanks, Rachel, for the best year of my life.
  • Excited for a rainy Sunday of pizza, games, and movies with the wife.

Core reasons for posting: Image Crafting (FYI, I have a boyfriend; I’m in a wonderful relationship), Jealousy Inducing

The image crafting and jealousy inducing motives here are transparent. The only less-appalling possibility could be that it’s an attempt to strengthen the relationship itself by showing how you feel in a more substantial way than just saying it in private. But really? You’re gonna drag 800 of us into this shit because you couldn’t find a more creative way to go over the top in expressing yourself?

The one very funny possibility when it’s a guy posting is that either he’s in trouble for something or that his girlfriend’s friend’s boyfriend pulled some shit like this at some point and his girlfriend has now been 10% mad at him ever since it happened, so he finally has to just bite the bullet.

The fact is, there’s no excuse for it, because if you feel the need to plaster your relationship all over Facebook, there are plenty of socially acceptable ways to do so—go nuts with couple profile photos, and enjoy three separate moments of like button and comment applause when you change your status to “in a relationship,” “engaged,” and “married.”

2) The Cryptic Cliffhanger

"What has ten fingers and ten toes and loves attention" drawing of ransom-note-style paper with cut out letters

Description: A post that makes it clear that something good or bad is happening in your life without disclosing any details.


  • That’s IT. I am DONE dating.
  • This could be a biggggg day…
  • Moments like these make all of the struggle and all of the pain worth it.
  • Ughhhhhhhhh

Core reasons for posting: Attention Craving

The fun part of these is watching the inevitable comments and then watching how the author responds to them, if at all. This process slots the author into one of four sub-categories:

  • The celebrity: The author stays silent, treating the commenters like gawking fans.
  • 800 people’s collective high-maintenance girlfriend: The author explains everything in the comments, which means he wanted to talk publicly about it, but he didn’t want to just tell the public, he wanted the public to ask him about it.
  • The tortured protagonist: It’s something bad. The author responds but maintains the mystery—she’s unhappy about it and she “doesn’t feel like getting into it.”
  • Everybody’s special princess: It’s something exciting. The author responds but maintains the mystery—it’s really good and he “can’t say yet but you’ll find out soon!” Now you’ll have an extra hop in your step as you wait for the big news with bated breath! This is a special one because it also brings Narcissism, Jealousy Inducing, and Image Crafting in. What a fun person to have in your life!

3) The Literal Status Update

stick figure holding banana: I must remember to tell everyone about this banana..

Description: An actual status update on someone’s mundane day.


  • Off to the gym, then class reading
  • Dumplings!
  • Finally finished my paper!

Core reasons for posting: Loneliness; Narcissism; Thinking a status update is supposed to be an actual status update

Allow me to present a visual—

Nested circles drawing. Big circle: Parts of your life that interest you (e.g. Tonight's a gym night). Smaller circle: Parts of your life that interest your Mom (E.g. Work was good this week). Very small circle: Parts of your life that interest your good friends (e.g. I got a promotion!) Tiny circle: Parts of your life that interest most of your Facebook friends (e.g. I'm engaged!)

“Finally finished my paper!” Okay…and? What are you looking for here? A fake congratulation from a bunch of people who aren’t emotionally invested in your struggle? Finishing your paper is green territory on the above chart, or if you had been working on it for a couple months, it might scrape the outer edges of the orange. For 90+% of the people who will read the status, it doesn’t come near the red territory, which is all they care about.

Off to the gym, then class reading. Oh is that what’s on tap for tonight? Who exactly are you telling this to? I really want to get to the bottom of this. At some point between leaving work and arriving at the gym, you had an impulse to take out your phone and type this status. Then you put your phone away. Tell me what was accomplished.

We’re talking about serious blue territory here, which means that even your mom doesn’t give a shit. A lot of annoying statuses fall far from red territory, but they all serve the author in some way, which is why they’re posted.

But info about your schedule doesn’t do anything to craft your image or induce jealousy in anyone—so it just seems a lot like Attention Craving’s sad cousin, Loneliness. I suppose it’s nice that Facebook gives a lonely person someone to tell their day to, and if these statuses didn’t come with the byproduct of reminding everyone else that life is meaningless and they’re gonna die someday, they wouldn’t have to be on this list.

The other possible explanation is severe narcissism, as if somehow, because you’re you, even the smallest details of your life are interesting to others. A weird part of the life of a major celebrity is that people are obsessed with everything about them, even their blue territory. If you’re not a major celebrity, this is not a problem you have, I promise.

4) The Inexplicably-Public Private Message

stick figure holding tin-can-and-string telephone but also a megaphone

Description: A public posting from one person to another that has no good reason to be public.


  • I miss you! When are we hanging out?
  • What a weekend with Julie Epstein and Emily Rothchild. I love my girls!
  • All private jokes.

Core reasons for posting: Image Crafting; Jealousy Inducing; Narcissism; You’re over 80 and don’t realize there’s a difference between a public post and a private message.

My grandmother aside, there is no good reason to ever do this. Good is the key word. There are lots of very annoying reasons to do this. Let’s list them:

  • To make yourself seem cool and social and make your social life seem vibrant and fun
  • To show everyone what good friends you and the recipient are
  • To make people jealous or feel worse about their own lives
  • Because you’re acting like you’re in high school and you’re one of the popular kids whose social situation is actually an important thing for people

The one possibility I enjoy is that the message is written to be jealousy-inducing specifically for one individual who will likely be seeing it, whether it be an ex or a friend they hate. That kind of malice is so extreme it crosses over the far line and becomes awesome.

5) The Out-Of-Nowhere Oscar Acceptance Speech

stick figure crying at podium holding award

An outpouring of love for no clear reason and aimed at no one in particular

Example: I just want to say how thankful I am for all of you who have touched my life. Your support means everything and I couldn’t have gotten through a lot of things in the last year without you!

Core reasons for posting: Attention Craving

I refuse to believe you feel a genuine outpouring of love for your 800 Facebook friends. And if you felt suddenly emotional about your best friends and family, is a public status really the way you’d express it? Wouldn’t contacting a few people by email or text be a lot more personal and genuine? Not relevant, because that’s not what’s happening here.

What’s happening here can really be boiled down to, “Hey everyone! I’m here! Hug me!” You know the inevitable response to one of these statuses, no matter who you are, will be dozens of like button hugs and comment arm squeezes. And isn’t that a little needy of you? You’re not feeling loving when you write this post—you’re feeling the need to feel loved.

The one time this is somewhat acceptable is when it’s part of a huge collective group hug, like on Thanksgiving or Christmas. If you open Facebook on Thanksgiving, you’ll be treated to hundreds of Out-Of-Nowhere Oscar Acceptance Speeches. (These I could also do without, if you’re wondering.)

6) The Incredibly Obvious Opinion


stick figure looking through telescope on sunny day. Second panel: "The sun is bright."

When a big event happens, a post chiming in with the opinion we’ve heard 1,000 times.


  • I feel so deeply for the Egyptian people fighting for their right to freedom. Everyone has a right to freedom and I pray that they prevail.
  • My thoughts and prayers are with the families in Newtown after this unspeakable tragedy. I have no words to express my sorrow for those who lost a child.
  • I’m disappointed about some things about Obama’s first term, but I’m happy he was reelected and hopeful about what his second term can bring.

Core reasons for posting: Narcissism; Image Crafting (I’m the kind of person that has this particular opinion or reaction; I’m smart and I can say adult things)

These are annoying because A) you’re not saying anything remotely original or interesting on an event the media is already flooding our airways about, covering every possible angle, and B) you’re now making a huge, and often tragic event, partially about you. The sadness you’re feeling about the massacre of children isn’t really a key piece of the puzzle here, and you need not describe to us what the event looks like through your personal lens, especially when the lens is just transparent glass—if I want a side dish of narcissism along with my tragedy, I’ll just read celebrity tweets about the event.

7) The Step Toward Enlightenment

cross-legged stick figures facing elderly wise stick figure

Description: An unsolicited nugget of wisdom.


  • “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” ~Buddha
  • Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. ~Proverbs 3:5-6
  • I don’t see what the big deal is about new years and people claiming how different they are going to be next year. If you want to better yourself it shouldn’t matter what day of the year it is…. Me? Im going to be the same person I am today tomorrow.

Core reasons for posting: Image Crafting; Narcissism

Oh, where to begin.

First of all, let’s be entirely clear that there is no humility involved in a Step Toward Enlightenment post simply because you might be quoting someone else—the clear patronizing message is, “Ahh hello Facebook Friends. I am one who knows the secrets of life—allow me to teach you so that you too can one day find enlightenment.”

Secondly—you know what inspires people? You achieving something incredible and letting it be an example and inspiration to others. For your words alone to be inspirational, you need to be a gifted speaker or writer who really has something original to say—and we both know that’s not you. So for you to consider yourself an inspirational character by simply posting trite quotes is, well, flagrantly narcissistic. You’re assuming that you, just by being you, are inspirational.

Thirdly, let’s get to your real motive with these statuses—Image Crafting. You want people to see how enlightened you are and admire the spiritual journey you’re on.

* * *

Our friend Daniel’s post was quite a feat—in one simple paragraph, he sliced through my soul, accomplishing nearly every terrible status type and motivation discussed above. The thing is, though, that if you looked right below his post, all you saw were likes and a couple friendly comments.

And that’s why insufferable Facebook behavior will never go away—there’s no dislike button or eye-roll button or middle finger button on Facebook, and it’s bad form to be too much of a dick in the comments below a status. So annoying statuses are just positively reinforced, and people remain un-self-aware that they regularly bring down the quality of everyone else’s life.

The bigger point here is that the qualities of annoying statuses are normal human qualities—everyone needs to brag to someone here and there, everyone has moments of weakness when they need attention or feel lonely, and everyone has some downright ugly qualities that are gonna come out at one time or another.

And that’s why you have people who love you.

The thing that Daniel and most others haven’t internalized is the fact that if they have 800 Facebook friends, only about 10 or 15 love them. For an especially lovable person, maybe it’s as high as 30. Between 1 and 4%. That means that between 96 and 99% of your Facebook friends DO NOT LOVE YOU.

People who don’t love you don’t care about you or your day or your life that much, they’re probably not especially rooting for you, and they certainly want nothing to do with your worst qualities. And you doing something purely to serve your emotional or egotistical needs really should not show up on their computer screen—it just shouldn’t.

Okay, gotta go. Off to the gym, then dinner, then home, then bed.


If you liked this, check out:

Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy

The Great Perils of Social Interaction

Why You Secretly Hate Cool Bars

11 Awkward Things About Email

  • Thank you.

    • Anonymous

      Why would there be a thank you???

      Instead of writing stupid, and “uninteresting” articles (the title alone said enough for me so I didn’t bother reading the entire thing), this person needs to learn how to filter and be happy for his fellow human beings.

      If you’re not happy with what someone posts on THEIR OWN page, filter it or better yet, do them a favor of not dealing with you and unfriend them. If you want to wallow in your own annoying, uninteresting world that revolves only around you… create a facebook page and don’t add anyone to it and start posting things that only interest you!
      I didn’t bother seeing who the author was either but In general, the reason for picking on other people’s status updates is probably because they’re miserable with their own life.

      • Anonymous

        Sounds like the author just needs to get over himself. Is it really that annoying when people post about awesome things in their lives on facebook? Maybe the article should have included 8) Being “friends” with people you don’t have any emotional connection to. I’d be happy to see a post like “Daniel’s” from any of my friends. Good for them! No need to be so self centered.

        • Anonymous

          I love this article! I can see based on the comments that so many people feel like they are being called out. The old “stand up for other people when it is really something you do” bit. Classic!

        • xyz

          “Is it really that annoying when people post about awesome things in their lives on Facebook?”

          Yes it is; because, most things people say are untrue and/or blown completely out of proportion.

      • No.

        Really, this is a funny post. I actually agree with it, not all of it, but nevertheless I enjoy it and laughed a few times. That is the point of it, so why don’t you chill bro.

      • Anonymous

        You guys gotta lighten up
        I dunno if you guys do this stuff yourself and got angry or if you live amazing lives or anything but I agree with him

        Sometimes Getting a pointless updates is a waste of time and reading through them is annoying

        Sometimes when someone posts something that is amazing and sounds awesome you look at what you’ve achieved and feel like crap you guys gotta get where he’s coming fro.

        The overall message of the article wasn’t restrict yourself on facebook it was don’t be a jerk on facebook

      • wbw sarcasm

        Person A: Yada yada yada annoys me and most people, I get why we all do it and it’s even cute or funny at first, but we need to slow our roll and stop being like this so much.

        Person B: I won’t address the merits of anything you said, because I felt bad at the first yada and didn’t read what you said – in fact, I didn’t even bother to see where I am and who wrote this. But I’ll still raise your “I’m [not] telling you what to do” bet, with my “Well, I’m telling YOU what to do plus an ad hominem attack” bet.

        I think that about covers most of the butt hurt. You’re welcome.

    • Anonymous

      Why would there be a Thank you?

      Instead of writing stupid, and “uninteresting” articles (the title alone said enough for me so I didn’t bother reading the entire thing), this person needs to learn how to filter and be happy for his fellow human beings.

      If you’re not happy with what someone posts on THEIR OWN page, filter it or better yet, do them a favor of not dealing with you and unfriend them. If you want to wallow in your own annoying, uninteresting world that revolves only around you… create a facebook page and don’t add anyone to it and start posting things that only interest you!
      I didn’t bother seeing who the author was either but In general, the reason for picking on other people’s status updates is probably because they’re miserable with their own life.

      • Anonymous

        I understand the humor in this post… sometimes people’s facebook statuses can be irritating. But saying that a status extending condolences to victims of the Newtown shooting is annoying?! What the hell.

        • B McF

          I actually see where he’s coming from with the Newton thing. I also don’t think this should apply to every single post after the shooting. But a lot of my Facebook friends seemed to take Newton as an opportunity to have their strongly stated sympathy affirmed instead of taking the time to reflect upon what happened – which is almost too fucked up to think about… at least for me.

        • Anonymous

          Yes. They are annoying. It is really self-important to think that broadcasting your “sympathy” means anything to anyone. We’re all (or at least most of us) sympathetic about tragedies. That’s what makes it an obvious (and quite irritating) post, you moron.

    • Anonymous

      Yes. Thank you.

  • If I had to categorize this post, I’d say it’s a combination of narcissism, attention-craving and loneliness 😉

    • Hahaha! Best reply ever!^^

    • My thoughts exactly.

    • Anonymous


    • Anonymous

      I’m with you Anonymous! Haha.

      ps : i do the enlightenment thingy. LOL.

    • Anonymous

      Thumbs up!

    • Anonymous

      Dear Author, as a full-time Facebook Stalker, how am I supposed to keep up with my victims if they don’t post trivial shit on FB all throughout the day?

    • Anonymous

      my thought: whoever wrote this, get it over with yourself. there are 2 options fb book offers to fix this problem: uncheck “get notifications,” and “show in news feed” for whichever friend who you couldn’t care less. or just simply defriend.

      • wbw sarcasm

        So just to make sure I’m clear: You actually believe the author was making a plea for your help in not seeing these insufferable posts (and humorously), as opposed to sharing their thoughts on types of widely recognizable posters or the sort.

        Kind of like them saying: “OMG, what’s the deal with all these people with flatulence in elevators” and you saying, “Dude, get off the elevator early or hold your nose, but for Potter’s sake, we mustn’t utter his name [because that makes my butt hurt]”.

        Solid – I think I generally agree (except for the NOT part).

    • Anonymous

      It’s not about what people choose to post (or brag) about themselves or their lives–that’s who they are and they are free to seek their validations from their FB friends in whichever way they want to–it’s more about how we the FB friends react to it. If we are happy and secure about ourselves, jealousy/envy should be minimized and not come into play. The only thing you need to decide is whether you derive more positive or negative energy from that person. If it’s mostly negative, you know where the UNFRIEND button is!
      I am sorry but the person who wrote this article comes across as misogynistic and really not a happy person. The language and tone used is almost spiteful.

    • Anonymous

      This article hits all the criteria of an “annoying” Facebook status, and nothing on the amusing list. Too bad for your bullshit life.

    • Anonymous

      Touche! 😀

    • Whatever

      I totally agree. We all get irritated with silly/unnecessary facebook posts but I really think you take this way too far & seriously just need a chill pill. When my boyfriend posted on facebook that he finished his PhD it was not to BRAG, but because it was the biggest thing in his life, he was happy, excited, relieved & wanted to share it with HIS FRIENDS (because generally it is your fiends who you are fiends with on facebook, not the general public). According to you thats bragging & attention seeking & reading something like that is infuriating. He apparently must just keep it to himself, basically because posts like that make you feel lesser (ie. jealous). I mean really.
      I opened this page because I thought it would be amusing & because, yes, the mundane “Im off to gym now” and cryptic attention seeking posts ARE annoying, but after your list what should anyone ever post on facebook??! What is left? Apparently all we should do is share interesting information, but we better not give our take on it! Since giving an opinion on something is apparently narcissistic (what the hell else is facebook for?), sharing a quote or something that may have touched you is apparently ‘image crafting ‘ or narcissism (umm maybe I just wanted to share something that touched me, maybe I dont obsess over my image- which you clearly do from what you have written- and I just thought hey, maybe ONE OF MY FRIENDS would also enjoy this) and sharing whats going on in your life is attention seeking or bragging. In my example above about my boyfriend’s PhD, his post also served another purpose- to let everyone know he was no longer chained to a desk & available to socialise again. But app someone like you would just get jealous and annoyed?
      There is allot of crap on facebook, but how about you remove the people you don’t want to hear from or MAYBE just judge less?! Why on earth would you let it annoy you so much?!
      I recon if you feel so strongly about what I see as 90% of facebook, just dont go online dude!

      • wbw sarcasm

        I argee with you (i.e., I appear to agree, but not exactly). I think you missed the part at the beginning where the article was framed in terms of people sharing things that they only really care about a small percentage (1-4%) of your fb “friends” seeing. It was talking about what 96-99% of your “friends” might be annoyed with, IF your fb is hundreds or thousands of friends.

    • Anonymous


  • what a complete and utter piece of shit article.. I am sorry that your life is so sad but others are proud of what they have and accomplished.

    • You need to lighten up, dude. The article is humorously truthful.

    • Going to sleep is an accomplishment?

    • Chicks dig me because I didn’t write this article.

    • there’s a difference between being proud and trying to broadcast your accomplishments to the world so you can garner further attention lol. eccentric much?

    • Anonymous

      I agree, all of the things happens in facebook are human being behaviour, and it’s okay I guess. People need attention, love etc. That’s why you’re pursuing your career, get a good job, salary, title, bcs one of the human being needs is recognition from another people. So I guess maybe you are lonely and up till now, there’s no one recognize you, hehe. chill bro, I know maybe this article is funny, but it’s not needed, everyone know and understand it clearly.

    • Anonymous

      If people stopped posting annoying stuff on facebook, it would crash. It would be the end of days. Everybody does it.

    • Everybody needs to lighten up, this is a HILARIOUS article. Honestly, calm down.

    • Anonymous

      This article is hilarious! It seems like the people that are the most offended, are probably the worst offenders. Most of the time when people update their statuses these days (about 90% of the time), it’s something stupid and ridiculous and I curse myself for even logging on Facebook and wasting my time. These words come out of my mouth for everything, “Shut up (insert name here)!” Because it is the same boring status….every….day…. I agree with this person, I am an offender for somethings, but I think this was hilarious and I reposted it because I think everyone on Facebook should read the article. 🙂

    • Anonymous

      all these angry people calling the author bitter are thinking about how many of their own posts people are thinking of when they read this.

    • Anonymous

      You probably just fall into many of these categories, and now you feel insecure. Go cry somewhere else, baby.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, again. Lighten up, it’s amusing and true. Those ranting are just sour at getting called out

    • Anonymous

      AnonymousSeptember 14, 2013 at 1:12 PM

      If people stopped posting annoying stuff on facebook, it would crash. It would be the end of days. Everybody does it.

      It doesn’t make it less annoying mate!

  • I don’t know what Katie and Homer are getting so butthurt about. This author is eloquently stating what everyone else is thinking. Stop looking for attention. Enough with the holiday posts, vacation posts, “got a new job” posts, and anything else that is purely meant to get people to like your status. If we’re interested, we’ll ask you personally. Be a little more original in your statuses. Post something that people can relate to without making it all about yourself. Make people laugh. A large portion of my statuses are jokes. Maybe you should try it.

    • Isn’t assuming YOU know what people should post on their own personal page the absolute ultimate in “making it all be about yourself”???

      • wbw sarcasm

        Ummm, Maybe the absolute penultimate. I’m pretty sure that for anyone posting to hundreds or thousands of people that they claim as friends, who also doesn’t care whether they are mostly being annoying, is #1. Kind of like that person who invites EVERYBODY they know to their party and plays music they KNOW no one likes but the host and their bros (like that movie mean boys).

        Oh, wait, were you being sarcastic too (in addition to possibly rhetorical)?

    • This is social media. It is for your friends to keep up with your personal life. It is sharing what you find to be interesting or funny. I think the heart of the problem here is that people ‘friend’ virtually anyone who asks. If you don’t want someone’s updates, don’t friend them, or else hide their posts. Problem solved.

    • Anonymous

      Feel the butthurt

    • The entire reason I’m on Facebook is to keep up with the lives of my friends and family and to help them keep up with me. If all of them stopped posting about themselves and the big and little and absolutely minute events of their lives and instead started posting links to HuffPost articles or endless jokes, I would no longer have any interest in being on Facebook. If my friends want to brag about some accomplishment or just take a second to express their satisfacation (or dissatisfaction) with some aspect of their lives, then I want to share that with them. Not wanting others to “bore” you with their thoughts and feelings and everyday accomplishments but instead “entertain” or “educate” or “uplift” YOU in some fashion is pretty much the height of selfishness.

    • This comment has been removed by the author.

    • Anonymous

      Funny, I thought it was for keeping up with people. I have collegaues on FB. I need to know when they’ve changed jobs. I have family on FB, and I like knowing how my neices’ gymnastics competitions went. I have friends on FB, who have genuiniely tough stuff going on, but schedules make it tough to connect — and I don’t know about YOU, but messages only work about a third of the time for me.

      So for the rest of us, who are humans, it’s a valuable tool for communicating a consistent amount of information to those who have expressed interest in that information.

    • Anonymous

      Good point Patricia, what a positive comment! Thank you for offering a helpful counterpoint.

    • Anonymous

      Easy fix and I agree with CaraMia creates………..I don’t need 800 FB friends. You can customize your FB page the way you want. I select and choose the people that I want to see, hear, and communicate with. They happen to be family and close friends. People I care to see, hear and communicate with and one’s that want to hear from me. Thanks for the article and all the responses, it was for good reading tonight. BTW, I jumped to this Blog because a good friend posted it on her FB page……………..

    • Anonymous

      Anonymous, these people don’t have to post status updates for the entire world to know about their private lives, why not send an inbox via facebook??

  • Or you could just come over to Google+ where this issue pretty much doesn’t exist.

    • If a tree falls in the forest…

    • Anonymous

      Haha! Google+ barely exists 🙂

  • Can the author please give some examples of posts that do NOT fall unto any of these categories? Isn’t the point of a social network to be, you know, social? I agree that many of these things can be annoying, and I have found myself un-friending or hiding certain people because of their posts. By the way, you left out people only ever whine/complain about things, and people who only ever post political rants. But “basically all photos”? Really? If I post “basically” any photo, I’m on my way to being insufferable? The fact is that while there are a lot of annoying things that people do on Facebook, people like FB because they can keep up with what’s going on in their friends’ lives that they may not be able to do otherwise because of physical distance (example: I have friends who live 10 time zones away from me, so I can’t just pick up the phone and call them any time of day like I can my other friends). I’d really like to know what are some ways I can post that do not break any of the above rules, because, while entertaining, I feel like the list in the article pretty much rules out any sort of communication at all, and renders Facebook – a product that boasts 700+ million users – to be completely pointless and illegitimate.

    • This comment has been removed by the author.

    • Infrequent infractions of these rules and ambiguous motives/intentions are more easily forgiven if such Facebook users spend more than 50% of their time of Facebook giving likes and comments to the best posts.

    • Anonymous

      @unknown July 11, 2013 at 5:15pm.
      “I found myself un-friending or hiding certain people because of their post. By the way you left out people who only ever whine/complain about thing”.

      Answer: yes the category relates to the whining as well. Saddness and negativity been applied.

      Author sounds like she just implying privacy. Privacy gone out the window where pple want to know everyone business in their life. Sad thing about the stories of some people who advertise their life are more prone to get lots of like and people who love their lifestyle will like their status in that moment.

      I find this private and overbearing. Im not friends with half people on my fb. None of them like my status if I was at a dance comp competing. Whole heartedly are they friends? My answer No. So fake that I knew I was judged and nkt like by all of them. Most I know just want numbers to look good.

  • Fair points all around. To answer Unknown’s question—it’s all about that graph at the top, with the A, B, and C regions. Any status whose goal is to amuse or entertain or inform people—whether or not the goal succeeds—is not annoying. Because the intent was to provide something positive to others. “To amuse or entertain or inform” is a BROAD category. Lots and lots of types of statuses fit the definition.

    The reason people end up being annoying is that they mistake Facebook for being a good place to communicate with your close friends and family. They post for those people with no consideration that 95% of the people that will spend a few seconds of their day reading the post are nothing more than acquaintances.

    And a post that is meant for 50 close friends and is irrelevant or annoying for the 500+ acquaintances who will also see it isn’t a great thing to post on Facebook. The rule of thumb I’d use for posting statuses is to think about what you’d like to share with your acquaintances. If at least 80% of posts are specifically targeted toward your large mass of acquaintances and no more than 20% are targeted toward your close people, you’re one of the good guys.

    If you don’t have interest in creating most of your posts for your large group of acquaintances, Facebook isn’t the right place for your posts—try Google+ or a private Facebook group or an email chain.

    • What are you, the social media police now? YOU get to decide what is the right place or forum for someone’s posts, because YOU decide that? Man, some people really ARE insanely narcissistic…

    • No, he doesn’t get to “decide.” He gets to INFORM us that what we’re doing is annoying. And he’s right. Most status updates on Facebook are annoying to most people. If you’re someone who doesn’t mind your friends (as well as plenty of people you barely know) bragging, cryptically fishing for attention, outlining the quotidian details of their daily routine, stating the obvious, and conducting private conversations in a public space, then you’re in the minority.

    • Then you should delete everyone that you find annoying. If everyone else follows suit then the offenders will have no more facebook friends and the problem will solve itself.

    • Or you could just trim down your Facebook friends list to a manageable number of people whose lives you actually give a shit about (and who would care about yours in return).

      The entire purpose of Facebook is to connect with people. I LIKE hearing about other people’s days. And if I don’t, well, I skim, and no harm done. If I just wanted the whole community to be nothing but witty remarks and news updates, I’d join Reddit or something.

    • It depends why you use Facebook. I think most people use it to update their friends on their lives, not to pander to their attention span. When I go on facebook, I want to share things about my life. If you’re afraid that you aren’t “interesting” or “entertaining”, you’re pretty insecure. Seriously, dude, lighten up.

    • Seems like you hit a nerve with a lot of narcissists. Perhaps you are on the right track after all, despite their protesting too much… 🙂

    • I get annoyed with some people’s posts. I delete the person from my friends list or hide their posts. Or, maybe people should not friend every person they’ve known since grade school. Maybe a person should friend their “friends” and close family rather than every person they meet.

    • Anonymous

      I think Unknown has a point here. It sounds like you’re cribbing because you have too many people on your Facebook who you don’t really give a damn about. When I see posts like “got a great job/boyfriend” or anything, it makes me happy, because I live 6000 miles away from a lot of people I care about. I’m not saying I have 300 soulmates, but I shared something with these people and it’s wonderful to see that good things are happening in their lives. And if bad things happen, I’d like to know too, if only to empathize and wish them well. And yes, I know I can post things that possibly only a portion of people will get, but the others don’t need to respond or care if it has nothing to do with them.
      Perhaps you should consider that a lot of people on your friends list may just be using Facebook differently that you are? Being a little discerning about who you add to your list might make all of these annoyances go away. 🙂

    • Anonymous

      I guess that is the point, do you think those people who live 6000 miles away care that you are going to the gym?
      This article was spot on, thank you so much, I have many close friends who do exactly the holiday photo thing, tagging people who aren’t even there in their images writing “wish you were here” and #yolo all over the place.
      “Loving life”, “life is great”, “amazing to be travelling again”.
      You know what the general trend is, those posts get snarky replies like “wow you do travel a lot” or one or two likes from the people they are travelling with.
      When I read those posts you know what I feel? Annoyance because I immediately feel that these people are rubbing their amazing lives into the noses of their friends who aren’t currently travelling or maybe cannot afford to travel.

      I’m going to share the hell out of this article on facebook and use another famous and infuriating Facebook technique to get people to read it:

      “If you don’t read and like this article you hate kittens and Jesus”

    • Gabriel Hickey that’s the real deal! As a philosopher, may I say that this article is so brilliant and accurate. (Sorry for my english, isn’t very good)

    • Anonymous

      Ok, I know this is probably naive and is certainly self-serving or I wouldn’t bother… But you can set the audience on each Facebook post to ‘close friends’, ‘public’, or some custom group. Why wouldn’t you just use that feature to post as appropriate to the selected audience? My observation is that the issues people have with Facebook are often that they don’t understand how they can apply controls to manage what they see and what others see. Granted, it is overly complex and changes to Facebook’s “privacy” features impact our faith that we really do have any control. Nobody’s perfect and all software has bugs, but we shouldn’t let any of that stop us from having a go. Feel free to tell me where I’m wrong, if you disagree.

    • a88

      Regardless of what your intentions were for the post, I completely agree with you on how you categorized these people. On point. On the other hand, what can a person post without falling into any of the categories? The only thing i can think of is “I just partied with Jesus” or such. That would definetely get attention from 98 percent of your audience aka “friends.”

      Over all, this article was extremely amusing because it is true.
      Most people post on facebook to get “likes” or comments. So it’s natural to fall into the categories he created.

      This post is just simply a fact and it is brilliant. Thank you.

  • I think the only thing this article proves is that the person who wrote it is apparently an expert on being a douche on Facebook. You know what they say…takes one to know one. That, or they’ve missed the whole point of the internet and social networking entirely. Unknown already made the point that if you eliminated all content from Facebook that violated these seven “rules”, Facebook would become irrelevant. People don’t join Facebook so they can send each other private messages (perhaps grandparents excluded), they join so they can engage in the types of behaviors condemned by this article.

    The author seems to do a good job of playing at psychology, but it’s just that-playing. If the person who wrote this article actually understood humans or how they function, they’d understand that Facebook is just the newest version of something people have always done, which is to preen in public. What other reason were/are birth, death, wedding and engagement announcements posted in newspapers, where the vast majority of people reading them aren’t going to know or care about the people in the announcement? This shit isn’t new, it has just evolved with the flow of technology. Before, we had to wait to read the newspaper to find all this stuff out, but we people are all about instant gratification and Facebook provides that. We’re all just rats in Skinner’s box, and comments on a status update are the little sugar pellets.

    The other thing the author fails to mention is that many people are all about keeping up with the Jones’. So when they read that Susie Blahblah is off to Hawaii, they just smirk to themselves while they read the update on the veranda of their McMansion. On their iPhone, of course. I’d recommend the author look up the term schadenfruede, and then maybe they might understand Facebook just that much better. But if they don’t like humans behaving like humans ALWAYS HAVE on the internet, they should probably go read a book or something.

    • hear hear!

    • Completely and utterly agree.

      I’ve never really had a F2F conversation with someone that wouldn’t also involve- from both parties- all of these types of conversation threads. Interstingly the key difference about the F2F is that the mention of brag/comment/photo/anecdote one is actually just a conversation opener/continuation- waiting for an exchange and acknowledgement.

      My partner is of the same opinion as this author about Facebook while I’m completely in line with TheDoctorDonna. I think we will never agree. 🙂 But- and I do think this is relevant – I have an extrovert personality type (and am a people pleaser – both positive and negative aspects of that) while is is a self assured, introverted personality type.

      So yeah, my big reveal? Um. It’s not like that for everyone….mate…. hmmm.

      I’ve always struggles with being profound on Tuesdays.

    • Anonymous

      Totally agree.

    • Jayden

      Totally disagree. This article is spot on, I’m just thankful facebook has an “unsubscribe” option these days so you can mute those that are so accurately described in this article.

    • Anonymous

      I also completely disagree. This article is spot on. Being on the internet doesn’t give you some special license to be a sociopath braggart with no sense of empathy. Sure, nobody is stopping you, but it might make your wiser connections question your behavior. For example; you don’t walk into a room with fat friends and complain about how you gained 2 pounds over the holidays. You wouldn’t congratulate yourself for losing 2 pounds either. Why would you do it online, Do you think they’ll resent you less for it?

    • Anonymous

      I like to see what everyone has to say on facebook. If it’s boring, I gloss over it, but generally I don’t over-focus and am not judgemental about any comments. And by the way, if you don’t like repetition when sending condolences regarding someone who died, what are your many ingenious ways of expressing your thoughts regarding this matter?

    • Anonymous

      “no consideration that 95% of the people that will spend a few seconds of their day reading the post are nothing more than acquaintances.” Then why are they your facebook friends? Why have 500+ acquaintances that will have no more influence on your life other than a funny cat picture? I think maybe, as a blogger, you have a biased view because you like having a large influence to get your ideas out to a ton of people. For us normal people however, we like to connect with people that, you know, we care about. So yeah this article was mostly just incorrect.

  • God this is awesome.

  • Then again, if you observe human conversations and interactions it won’t take a genius to pick out the brag, the undercover brag, the “I’m In a Great Relationship” brag, those often random cryptic cliffhangers, the literal dimwits, the inexplicably-public private conversationalists, the out-of-nowhere Oscar acceptance speechmakers, those with incredibly obvious opinions and the ones sharing their insights toward enlightenment.

    I’m dying to know what the author’s status updates look like… Probably falls in the category ‘The UP Your Own Arse Goodie Two Shoes’… Yep, they walk among us… beware.

  • All very valid observations but then again what is it about these status updates that annoy you so much? Maybe a bit of perfectionism? Your way is the right way and if something doesn’t fall into this category it’s worth being put down and ridiculed? I wonder what your motivations for posting this are.. image crafting… wanting to sound clever and witty… those motivations are basic human motivations which in itself is very interesting. Live and let live though I say, we all share some of the same hidden motivations and needs that sometimes have made us all write stuff that is a bit self seeking or un-interesting in an update, which in my book just tells me we are all humans. Have a good day 🙂

  • Also you seem to be angry and a tad jealous about people going on holiday, having great relationships, achieving stuff and having fulfilling social lives. Maybe rather than trying to have people conform to what you think they should do you could spend less time on Facebook and blogging and spend more time to do stuff that you like to do with the people you love so when you read one of the “annoying” bragging facebook updates you can just smile and think of all the interesting stuff you’ve done and achieved in your real life and be happy that other people are happy about their lives also, maybe that they are a bit needy or looking for validation, but then again we all are.

  • The point made in the article is not that people shouldn’t be themselves and shouldn’t enjoy Facebook, it’s that people shouldn’t be PROFOUNDLY annoying on Facebook. The areas of “insufferability” pointed out above aren’t broad, but rather specific kinds of statuses that tend to be specific to Facebook culture.

    Traditional human “preening” and self-validation is not the topic at hand here…Facebook is normal human petty interactions on steroids. There’s a basic courtesy expected in living human interactions, but from behind a computer screen, any semblance of reasonable social behavior can go out the window.

    You seem to be mostly protesting the article’s inclusion of item 1A above (“The Brag”), and on that point I don’t really disagree. Bragging at least goes back for centuries and while petty is at least honest. But things like the Cryptic Cliffhanger, the Literal Status Update, the Oscar Acceptance Speech, the Public-Private Message, and the Step Toward Enlightenment don’t really exist in the real world. They’re very specific strange ways people act when they’re behind a computer screen, and at least on my Newsfeed, 10% of people commit 90% of the offenses. Those are the people who need to read this article 🙂

    • Lol, Facebook status updates are not “offenses”…it’s just a freakin’ social media site.

    • ok, but if I decide to inform my friends things like “I’m going to the bathroom” or “I’m buying briefs”, isn’t that a little too much? doesn’t it clog they system?

      You seem to be taking this awfully personally. Are you just being defensive because you don’t like exposure of personal inadequacies?

  • There’s a really simple solution, if human beings annoy you so much, get off the social media. I’m actually happy to hear about the personal triumphs of my friends. If you are not maybe the problem lies with you, not them. I *want* to hear about their achievements and see pictures of them on holiday. Sometimes people get a bit carried away but so what? They are your friends so learn to deal with it. If the problem is the number of “acquaintances” then don’t add them in the first place.

  • Funny watching all the people who do all of the things in this article throw a fit in the comments because their feelings were hurt.

    • Amen

    • Dave

      Jake Lewis, bravo. Absolutely the most accurate statement on this entire board, efficiently expressed too.

  • Ahh! The always hilarious Person-Using-Social-Media-To-Complain-About-How-Others-Use-Social-Media. Too bad Facebook doesn’t have this thing where you could just not look at people’s stuff…oh wait, it does!

    • Sure I can block each friend individually, but don’t people have an obligation to practice self control? Would you really tell these things to people in real life? BTW, I will masturbate at least twice before any response on your part.

    • Jonk

      Amazing rollergirl how you only got half the joke. You identify exactly what the joke is, then skipped over the ironic punchline. oh well.

    • Anonymous

      Hahaha. Rollergirl you missed the point. Now get back to taking selfies.

    • Ha ha ha! This is almost worth coming out of facebook retirement for.
      ‘Daniel’ is clearly a grade A c*%+ and the defensive replies speak volumes. Oh the lost art of self esteem…

  • For better or worse, when friends and I get together in person, we can ALL agree on certain people who have become just impossible to take. And we can all agree on people who make us bust a gut or think deeper thoughts. For instance, we can all agree that George Takei wins at Facebook!

    But please, do instagram next?

    • Anonymous

      YES please. instagram!! all of this applies to a T

  • SPOT on. Just great.

    It’s not like it’s THAT bad to do these things on Facebook, but it’s also not THAT bad to talk about yourself constantly at a party or THAT bad to tell stories about your Valentine’s Day to that coworker you know is single because some sick part of you likes making them envy you. But let’s not pretend that acting this way is GOOD either.

    Anyone who is angry after reading this article needs to take a long look in the mirror and ask themselves why.

    • Anne Rainbow

      I totally agree with the author and yourself, but in saying that, I also read the NY resolution post and decided to not read all the comments on articles. Sadly, here I am, commenting again and it’s only the 5th of Jan…

  • Jym

    ≈ You like me! You really like me!

    I’m always interested in good orange juice, though, and I did want to know more about that banana.

  • so Facebook is actually supposed to be reddit, check.

  • I think this boils down to what we think the purpose of Facebook is. The author seems to think of it as a sterile, emotionless online environment full of people whose only wish is to serve his or her royal majesty. Talk about narcissism! We are human, and we live our lives primarily for ourselves (it’s a survival thing). So it is only natural that our Facebook activities reflect at least some of that perceived selfishness. I agree that when taken to the extreme, the kinds of posts described can get a bit annoying. But the author isn’t giving us any wiggle-room here. Let me give you an example: Lucy broke her wrist. She belongs to a couple of sporting clubs, goes to university and works part-time at a large organisation where she has many friends. She uses Facebook as a quick and easy way of telling her close friends, college friends, sporting friends, colleagues etc. that she’ll be out of action for a few weeks:

    “Broke my wrist! 6 weeks in lockdown. Boo :(“

    According to the author, this is attention seeking behaviour, with a little hint of horribly infectious loneliness.

    How else could she post this?

    “I have broken my wrist and will not be working, attending class, seeing my friends or playing sport for at least 6 weeks. Any comments or messages should be directed to my private inbox.”

    That’s beautiful – and I think, I hope that follows Rule #1 for Facebook posting (interesting/informative). Unfortunately, it’s in violation of Rule #2 (funny/amusing/entertaining). I’m afraid Lucy isn’t much of a jester!

    Let’s say Lucy wants to spread some happiness. According to the author, quoting life truths is deemed image crafting, and of course, narcissism. So where else can she find happiness? How about within her own life? Brilliant! Why doesn’t she spread some joy by sharing the little things that made her happy today? N-O, says the author. That would just be blatant – you guessed it – narcissism.

    As I said, it all comes down to what we want Facebook to be. If you want interesting and informative pieces of news, go to a current affairs website. If you want to be entertained, then YouTube away my friend! But if you want to stay in touch with people you know (regardless of the closeness of your relationship), then Facebook is great for that – but personally, I’d say that those who are only interested in knowing if you are engaged/alive aren’t worth knowing at all. Let’s not forget, Facebook is made up of humans, who live their own lives but at the same time have feelings and want to be social. Just like in real life. Who would have thought?

    • Anonymous

      LOL. Lucy’s revised post that conforms to the author’s standards had me laughing for a good bit. I agree with everything you’ve said!

    • Anonymous

      Well said dude! (or dudette!)… We need more people like you in this world. Yes, even here in cyberspace. 😉 Rock on!

    • don banana

      maybe ur taking it seriously when its not? imho hes just pointing some of the more usual posts and making fun of them, actually if you take out these 7 kind of posts ur facebook frontpage would b almost empty

  • The Undercover Brag

    “On my walk home from work, I was whistled at twice, honked at twice, and one car almost caused an accident slowing down to stare at me. Sometimes I really hate men. “

    Most women aren’t bragging about creepers making them feel uncomfortable for no reason other than the fact that they are female. If you’re seeing stuff like this, it’s because it genuinely upsets them. (And no, it’s not a compliment and no they shouldn’t learn to just accept it).

    • YES. I was really bothered that the author thinks that women speaking out against sexual harassment is really just an excuse for them to humblebrag about being attractive. Gross.

  • You know what this article is best for? Identifying all of the people who take themselves far too seriously. This is a clever and astute critique that articulates what most people I know are thinking. Sorry if you feel “called out.”

  • Bunch of misanthropes.

  • Ur doing it rong. Don’t have 800 “friends” on Facebook. Edit! There is no need to friend everybody and their grandmother. I have nobody on there that I can’t stand when they do any of the above, and as much as FB will let me I will try to spare at least some sections of my limited pool of friends when I am being annoying myself. Not that hard.

  • Screw FB. It’s annoying and I deactivated my account. Blather on people…

  • I personally loved this piece!

  • This is cutting and hilarious and anyone hating on this should be rushed to the emergency room for a life-saving injection of humour.

  • Really, this is spot on. Anyone who claims to not get it, or is pissed off by the article either writes shit themselves on Facebook and just doesn’t ‘understand’ that they are one of those people, or knows that they do and are embarrassed that someone has eloquently described their rubbish…

    • I agree. Or, they read the first 10% of the article and then stopped and commented, saying “I LIKE WHEN GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO MY FRIENDS,” without realizing that they completely missed the article’s point.

    • Anonymous

      Couldn’t have put it better myself Neil Morrison..

    • Matt

      Yep I agree. This is absolutely brilliant. Those who are angered by it are committing the crimes.

  • Haha, that felt good to read! I totally agree with you. Granted, I don’t leave many status updates, one reason being that the DO go to all “800” friends when I really only want those 10 or 20 to see it. Too bad FB doesn’t have a setting for that… or do they and I missed it?

    • Anonymous

      It does have a setting where you can choose your select audience. But first you have to group your friends list into groups eg family, acquaintances, work etc.then choose the group you want

  • Facebook is high school revisited. Or maybe the sandbox.

    • Anonymous


  • Agree. These are on a par with a pro-forma Christmas letter included with a Christmas card.

  • This was very comforting. Thanks. Now back to work, the lunch with great friends!!!

  • And the definition of social media and point of Facebook would be, what again . . .?

  • at least i can still post that I am giving away ice cream sandwiches.

  • These long glorious days of summer….watermelon raspberries blackberrie diving into the ocean off the boat frozen mango yogurt watching silly movies with my thirteen year old till 2:00am morning geese gulls otters ducks blue heron daughter’s sparkling glitter toenails teenage drama soccer son’s marathon sleepovers with friends Don’s famous barbecue salmon dinners flower garden on the bow of the boat starlight moonrises shoting stars tree frogs cricket song morning runs up the mountain falling asleep to the gentle rocking of waves on the hull……

    (Now don’t you feel crappy about YOUR life? GOOD!)

  • Totally brilliant article!

  • This gives me a great idea for a drinking game:

    Assign each of these 7 offenses to party attendees, and then they can only speak in that manner or they have to drink.

    I think it would be hilarious trying to craft my words as literal status updates 😉 but I think I would have way more fun with the cryptic cliffhangers!

  • Facebook also actually offers you the option to hide news and statuses from people you don’t care about. Make use of it! I tend to think, that people who don’t want to know anything about my life or don’t want to read my posts will have made use of that option already. So I’m not annoying anyone who doesn’t want to read my statuses, but only scribbling down what’s going on in my mind to people who give a fuck. So there’s a theory of mind that the author obviously didn’t take into consideration, which would modify the interpretation of the core motivation.

  • i don’t think you understand facebook at all. fb isn’t reddit. it isn’t supposed to be about providing interesting and witty reading for other people. fb’s intended purpose is to do all of those things you’ve listed – it’s about the poster, not the postees.

    i highly recommend you do what many of us did long ago – quit. and perhaps practice what you preach and make your own writing more interesting and witty for your readers – after all, it’s not all about you. a curated community like the one you think fb should be would not accept all this whiny sarcasm…or approve of using the full names in the “daniel’s” post you’ve quoted.

    ps: you don’t have to be “friends” with people whose updates bore you. i don’t understand why people don’t get this.

  • AJ

    I agree with maybe 25% of this article (>inb4 it’s a comedic piece). When someone posts something along the lines of “I finally got accepted into med school!” or “Finished my last exam!” that isn’t particularly bragging; it could be a sign of relief. Also if they are your friends who are posting these types of statuses then you shouldn’t get jealous you should be happy for them.

    On the other side, I completely hate the “ugh i hate my life…” statuses, or the vague fb posts. It’s so painfully obvious that they want attention.

    A simple solution: block all of their posts from showing up on your news feed (don’t have to necessarily unfriend them).

  • Loved it all.
    Except, well, that example about the girl being honked and whistled at. I thought at first the author was a woman -for some obscure reason- but after reading that part I was sure it couldn’t be. Being honked at on the street is nothing to brag about, being harassed doesn’t mean you’re very attractive, you get the honking even when you’re 13 and ugly…just because you’re a girl on the street. A guy who honks at a girl certainly doesn’t have high standards, and the whole thing, I can assure you, doesn’t come out as a compliment. It’s pretty embarassing and humiliating.

  • It’s a way of vaguely knowing how my friends feel without having to fucking call them. I love it.

  • To the author: If you practically believe that all Facebook statuses are “narcissistic”, then delete your account because Facebook was not meant for people like you.
    You cannot judge that the motive behind all statuses is narcissism and vanity. Out of the 800+ friends on my FB (Which I actually know and have met in real life (No I am not bragging…SEE I CAUGHT YOU.)) about 5, are actually narcissists and post just to cultivate an image of themselves. So when I see friends posting “I’m going to Italy to study abroad for 3 months!” I take into consideration of the person behind the post…which happens to be a truly humble, optimistic, friendly person – who is HAPPY to be traveling to Italy. I could become one of two things 1) Jealous or 2) Happy. I choose to be happy for that friend. At the same time I am informed and enlightened after reading the exciting post.
    To me, it seems as if YOU are a very jealous and judgmental person. I am sorry that Facebook brings you so much strife and pain. I wonder what your statuses look like. Many people post to document, express their feelings etc. I’m sorry that you are so bothered and annoyed by certain, should I say MOST statues. Maybe we should follow your guidelines to better posting as to not offend you. I think you should just focus on YOU and stop judging other people and believing they are all out to promote and worship themselves. I bet you think having a profile pic is NARCISSISTIC. Do you have a profile picture? What AM I asking??!!… you probably don’t because you fear others might find you…vain.

  • I really like that guys status. It made me smile. I got about 10% of the way through your bitching and moaning before I was thoroughly bored. I only receive status updates on facebook from people I know, so I like hearing their happy news. Sounds to me like you are a selfish prick who thinks his friends soul purpose in life is to entertain YOU

    • Anonymous

      I do see folks with 800-900 friends and they always seem to be the ones who blab the loudest. Nobody likes a loudmouth, so it’s a good thing they take their self-love kisses to Facebook rather than do this sickening act in public. To Hell with Facebook. Facebook junkies, get some help!

  • I thought the points in this article were totally spot on, and from looking at the comments, what I see is people saying “I LIKE WHEN GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO MY FRIENDS!”

    Did you read the article? The whole point is that EVERYONE likes when good things happen to their friends.

    The article labels 7 particular kinds of Facebook posts which are “insufferable.” Only one of them is bragging (which is what comment protesters are about) and that one isn’t saying that incessant bragging will be annoying to your good friends, it’s saying it’ll be annoying to the other “96-99%” of your Facebook friends.

    Anyone who is that angry about this article didn’t read more than 10% of the article. Kudos to the author.

  • Yeah think this was massively over-egged and self-indulgent (and narcissistic). Could have summed this up in a couple of paragraphs.

    But anyway, surely by FAR the worst must be the moronic ‘share’ status. The incessant “1 share = 1 dollar donated to [child dying of cancer/worthwhile cause/charity etc]” kind of bollocks that everyone seems to believe. Nonsense generated by corporations to sell facebook stock in likes for corporations. I find that people actually believing it and re-posting as a self-righteous do-gooding pander to karma more irritating than the appalling faceless corporate bastards behind them.

  • Dang, people have some stroooooong feelings about this subject! Have to say, I do a couple of these–quotes, bragging… but overall this made me laugh my ass off. I have started unfollowing people who post pictures of their meals or their morning coffee. Too much.

  • This is SO STUPID. Most of the stuff this guy was talking about, I DO NOT find annoying, and ACTUALLY ENJOY. It is people who write epically long papers about why annoying FB posts are annoying that makes the majority of us feel annoyed at them. I LIKE knowing that some of my FB friends had a great weekend with some other people, or that they are thinking of something big going on in the world, or that they are feeling particularly grateful for the people and things that surround us; It makes me smile.
    Most of (I would hope) find these things cheering, even if they give us only the knowledge that our friend, this living person on the other side of the screen, is still alive, and feeling the need to connect, feel, or in anyway be human.
    “that’s why insufferable Facebook behavior will never go away—there’s no dislike button or eye-roll button or middle finger button on Facebook” BECAUSE FB IS SUPPOSED TO BE A POSITIVE PLACE TO CONNECT WITH YOUR PEOPLE, WHETHER THEY LIVE NEAR OR FAR, AND REMEMBER THAT WE ARE ALL HUMAN.
    And if we have to write cryptically to get the connection we need, then so be it.
    The only thing I can find to take positively from this article, is a lesson on how to be a better human; Assume best intent. Remember that we are ALL human. Remember that No Matter how stupid, or annoying, or attention craving a post may be, it is there for a reason, and A PERSON put it there.

    • Anonymous

      ‘..there’s no dislike button or eye-roll button or middle finger button on Facebook..’ = THAT IS GOLD!!!

  • “Thinking a status update is supposed to be an actual status update”

    It is. If you think otherwise, you’re using it wrong. The site that you’re looking for is MySpace…

    • Oops, commented before I got to the end.

      “it’s bad form to be too much of a dick in the comments below a status.”

      It’s not, really. In fact, I’ve pruned a lot of people that didn’t really need to be friended to me by being honest about their stupidity. If you’re not asking to be told you’re wrong, don’t broadcast your stupidity publicly. Update your status with everything else, sure.

  • Did anyone else find it ironic that this person decided to denounce Facebook narcissism, which they define as the idea that “the author’s thoughts, opinions, and life philosophies matter”, on their personal blog? And if posting a status update that’s about yourself is narcissistic, what exactly is expecting that other people’s status updates be designed either you inform you with brilliant and original insights or make you laugh? You know, because other people’s Facebook posts are really just about you…

    • Yeah what kind of loser posts their own opinions on their own blog

    • That’s funny.

  • My thoughts on this were a bit too long for a comment box so I wrote a blog post in response. In short, no. http://stephanieearlygreen.com/facebook-etiquette/

  • Such a supercilious post! I’ve seen your type of criticism applied to any innocent activity that gives people some happiness. Grow up. If you don’t like people expressing themselves on Facebook, stop reading.

  • I’ve identified what you didn’t: fret-gloating. People who fret about awesome decisions that take them away from their already awesome lives. The fret-gloat is only complete when the decision turns out to be even more awesome than expected by the friend, even though their friends understood it would. For instance, a friend who lives on a flower farm with white horses fretting over the decision to move to a tropical island for a year later posts about her engagement to an islander and their stellar house and life. Fret-gloating. I’m over it.

  • To all who are ripping the author and the article:

    I think it’s a very well written and funny article that does point out many obvious reason people post on Facebook.

    Of course most posts are narcissistic, but that’s human nature. Of course that’s what people do on social media is talk about themselves; what else is there to do on social media? If you don’t like it, go away.

    You don’t have to agree with everything in the article. Even I don’t agree with a couple things, but the article is still on-point with the majority of people’s FB posts, and points this out in a very detailed and humorous manner.

    For example, I don’t agree with some parts of “the brag” like when people post pictures (vacation, kids, etc), because some of their their friends and co-workers might enjoy seeing these pictures and updates. I wouldn’t consider this gloating, selfish, or narcissistic; just merely keeping people in the loop. If you think about it, it’s not much different than someone bringing in physical pictures of their vacation or kids in a physical environment and showing everybody. Nobody is forcing you to look at the pictures. Nobody is forcing you to respond or like.

    I almost think the only reason you might be mad after reading this article is maybe because you feel bad for posting for these reasons for all these years.

    I totally agree with “cliffhanger” and “banana” examples. They’re annoying. But again, it’s human nature. People act like this in real life. This article isn’t telling anybody to change.

    I myself am occasionally guilty of these posts, but I’m okay with it. I like to think I’m over it. I post pics maybe cause I think they’re funny, maybe cause I’m bored, or maybe I know 1-2 people will get a good laugh out of a post. This doesn’t mean I’m gloating, bragging, or trying to show off. I’ll admit, sometimes I feel bad because I wonder if people might get jealous because of my posts; but that thinking alone is narcissistic and I feel like I’m just getting in my own head. I mean, it’s just not that serious. If you’re on FB, you post, you share, you read. People who don’t enjoy it will do something else. It is what it is.

    I appreciate the article, and the time and effort put into it. It’s right on. For someone to organize people’s reasons for posting, and getting it into words; that’s awesome.

    What I find somewhat fascinating, is that when FB first came out, it was more/less a big free-for-all, with no norms. Today, there are social-networking norms that most people adhere to. For example, I think a couple examples the author may have forgotten are people who go on political or religious rants, and others who want to market and capitalize on FB. I think these users are just uninformed, and don’t realize there’s other platforms to communicate these views on. Also, FB can be a good marketing tool if used appropriately, and people will seek out information. It’s evolving. People will seek it or drop it.

    If people don’t want to see other people’s babies they could get the baby.me app that turns babies into other cool pictures. If people don’t want to see people’s posts, they have the option to block, unfriend, or simply not log on.

    Yes, Facebook does make some people happy, but actually the latest research has shown that FB does the exact opposite, because you look at posts, and it makes you sad because people think about how their life lacks what the other FB users are posting/sharing, which makes them rethink their lives.

    That still doesn’t make this a bad article, just because it points out some obvious things people do on social media and makes people angry. I enjoyed the read. Don’t agree with all of it Some examples are right on. I thought it was hilarious!

    • Anonymous

      so now there’s rules to this? lol. It’s FB. Get on , say whatever you want to say to your circle of friends and aquaintances…if they like it, they can hit the button for that or they can keep on scrolling.

  • Anonymous

    The important thing people are overlooking here is……IT’S FACEBOOK. Who cares?????

  • Anonymous

    Funny article. Shared on facebook by those falling into the ‘prick’ category.

  • I mostly find this article insufferable. There are some good points, but mostly my impression is, why should I craft my Facebook page for you? My goal isn’t to get the most likes for my status. I’m just doing my thing, Guy. Get your fascist Facebook judgments off of me.

  • Anonymous


    If you think this is a bad article, please go kill yourself.

  • Anonymous

    ugh self-righteous social media users are the worst. get off your pedestal.

  • Anonymous

    I have never- not even once- posted a comment on a blog. ever. and I just have to say how brilliant and hilarious this article is. pure and utter genius. those of you with all of the negativity: first, slap yourself in the face. second, go delete that status update that tells us what you cooked for dinner, what glass of wine you have in your hand, how many calories you burned today, and how blessed you are. #noonecares

  • NF

    i don’t get annoyed by social media, i don’t know, i think i see it as something so trivial that no facebook/twitter status would be annoying enough for me. i guess tags / mentions can be annoying, but facebook statuses are the user’s right, he/she can say whatever he/she wants really

  • Anonymous

    While initally amused at this article, I ended up asking, but,,why? Why these rules so that you dont get annoyed? Why create and spread this type of unacceptance. for by publishing it for those to read you have created an intolerance ‘disease’ – anyone who has read it will now identify those all things you have higlighted and join in your annoyance where they may not have before.
    YOU ARE SPREADING INTOLERANCE, which ultimately leads to division and hatred. Well done!

  • Anonymous

    This is pretty amusing, and I agree with the irritation over a lot of these “types” of status updates. Especially the posts that, in reality, a person’s mom wouldn’t even care about (ie, “going grocery shopping” or “on my lunch break”). But there is a bit of a contradiction between what is being said in the “enlightenment” section and the bragging section–why not post about something you’ve accomplished? Because that would apparently also be annoying, right? I personally don’t mind seeing people post their accomplishments–getting into med school, having a child, completing a marathon–because they ARE accomplishments, major feats in life, major milestones, moments of joy. They’re at least POSITIVE. Anything that distracts people or prevents them from whining/pointless updates seems like it’s a good thing.
    Also, here’s a thought: don’t have 800 friends, 500 of which don’t give a shit about your accomplishments because they barely know you anyway. Why can’t the people we’re “friends” with also coincide with the people that actually care about us?

  • *sigh*

    Although I agree that some FB updates really take the piss – especially about humblebragging and self promo – it isn’t all about YOU (and that goes for the commenters that are ‘defending’ the writer also).

    The real problem is having 800 odd people who don’t care if you drop off the planet. You’re using Facebook as Twitter or as others have said Reddit…it’s not supposed to be a place for meeting random acquaintances you’ve never met – this is why it asks you ‘Have you met this person?’ when you add them?

    It’s supposed to be for close friends, family, people you know well. Yes you CAN use it for everyone including the guy down the coffee shop and the weird stalkerish person and the person you kind of fancy from Timbuktoo, but then don’t kvetch about depersonalisation, alienation, pointless updates and not being engaged. Reduce that friends list down to people you give a fuck about, and hey! Problem solved…ie. stop looking to others to solve your own issue with your Facebook group, and posting another Google/sharebait “Why Social Media Sucks!’ list.

    This is exactly the same post as back in the day people blogged about how Livejournal, Blogger etc. sucked – same issues, same problems, different labels. They also told people to be ‘entertaining’ and stop posting in their journals like they were a diary (like the ‘using a status update like a status update’ – that’s what they were intended for!) and quite rightly people told them to go fuck off, it’s their space and they will do with it what they will, either read it or GTFO. Same applies here. *shrug*

    Oh and those who accuse others of doing same, I’m sure you can find me online, you’ll notice I do very few of these things, but I’m sure you can find something ‘narcissistic’ if you look hard enough…LOL.

  • Hilary

    If you are annoyed by narcissicm to any degree then why are you on facebook yourself?

  • This comment has been removed by the author.

    • Anonymous


  • Anonymous

    The only thing that bugs me about this is the sad truth that most people care more about whether someone is engaged than whether they are doing well at work. Why shouldn’t one’s friends care about another’s day to day life?

    I couldn’t care less when someone “commits” to yet another future divorce, but I think it’s rad when my friends kick ass at work. Most relationships fail, but career is forever.

    • Anonymous

      Welcome to the real world, where – surprise surprise! – careers also fail. Look up the words “redundancy” and “retrenchment”, for starters…

    • Anonymous

      … then move on to “Global Financial Crisis”. 😉

  • Anonymous

    Things that probably already have been said in the comments, but the narcissist in me can’t help giving my opinion. So here it is:

    Isn’t FB about sharing your life with your friends and relatives?
    I don’t have 800 facebook “friends”, rather 100. Knowing that they are happy makes me happy, not jealous.
    Not all of them are close, but I bet that more than 5% of them care about me. And if FB algorithms are working as expected, those who don’t care about me will likely not see my status updates as often as those who do.

  • Your analysis is conditional. If I am truly, truly friends with the poster, then I want to know all about his/her life. Those that are close to me: please post everything.

    On the other hand, those that are not, please don’t post that stuff–or just a little of it.

    To me, annoying are things that are made up–urban legends–and offensive language

  • Ken

    HAH! It’s funny, because it’s so spot-on true. I’m going to immediately tell everyone about this article, and then get some lunch, tell them all about it, then take a nap, wake up and describe the dream I had, then spend an entire afternoon combing the online world for banality which I will point out ON PURPOSE to people who could not, in a trillion years, care any less about it. Ah yes, that’s the good stuff.

  • Anonymous

    Totally nonsense.

  • Damo

    Amusing post. I think it’s important to do a yearly recycle of your facebook ‘friends’. I like to keep around 30 friends in total. Made up of real friends and family.
    Using this list of annoying status posts would be a good way to sack people.

  • Anonymous

    Posting Proverbs 3:5-6 may be image crafting, but it’s the complete opposite of narcissism. Trusting in God rather than yourself… poor choice as an example by the author.

  • Anonymous

    For the most part a pretty comprehensive and funny list.

    A few comments on some of the 7 points:

    1c) Depends on the relationship. Sometimes one feels obligated to do this from time to time depending on how emotionally needy one’s partner is.

    4) Parents and social media newbies seem most susceptible to this. I chalk it up to naïveté –i.e. not knowing how to “do” FB–more than narcissism.

    5) Does this include the blanket “thank you” post most of us feel somewhat obligated to make the day after receiving a ton of birthday wishes? If so this is more laziness and/or a sense of obligatory politeness than it is narcissism.

    7) Totally. Bugs the shit out of me. Canned quotes from the Dalai Lama or are the dryer lint of the internet.

    Personally I like seeing my friends’ pix so I guess that makes me lame and boring. But it sure beats having them upload to Snapfish or some other “service” where I’m going to have to create yet another goddamned account.

    800 friends? NOBODY has 800 TRUE friends. Not even the Dalai Lama. If you have 800 “friends” you have bigger problems than the 7 points on this list. OTOH the assertion that nobody has more than 15-30 people at most who love them is a pretty dark and pessimistic view of life. While it’s highly unlikely anyone would have hundreds of people who truly “love” them it really depends on the size of your family, the size and quality of your community, and the number of years you’ve spent building them.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, this is why I don’t make facebook statuses anymore; for fear of being judged just like this.
    Why do other people’s facebook statuses have to please YOU? Let people share what they want, it’s not their fault you find them annoying.

  • Anonymous

    Oh boo hoo, it must be so hard to scroll past and ignore someone else’s facebook status that is slightly displeasing to you.
    Why do you have to be so judgemental? Why does it actually matter if other people want attention? Because it’s annoying to you? Well you’re annoying me.

  • Anonymous

    I have a different view on all of this just the way how Facebook organizes information. I don’t post for anyone other than me – I use Facebook as that one point where all the crap I go through gets collected so I can check it some later time. I post a lot of articles etc, but I actually haven’t read any of them since I’ll get to that when I have more time.

    Now when it comes to status messages and photos – FB has a great way (especially when you tag the photo locations) or mapping all those little photos and status messages to a certain location on the map (“Places”). Now, when one tries to live a pretty adventurous life (living in another country etc), you tend to gather a lot of these tidbits of photos, status messages and whatnot. So over the years, you tend to build a pretty detailed picture of your timescale.

    Now, obviously stuff gets forgotten by whoever uses Facebook – even stuff from 2 years ago is almost ancient history, especially if you experience a lot. Back home, I have big wall in one room that has a massive world map tapestry in it, printing one with the the size and detail required wasn’t a small task. On this tapestry, I transfer the key things out of whatever location I’ve visited or experienced and it’s all based on whatever pictures etc I post in facebook.

    I don’t use Facebook to brag or compare lives or any of that crap – everyone needs to find their own happiness. I use Facebook to build that wall so we have a visual timeline in our house for our family, especially our daughter since she probably doesn’t remember any of this stuff when she grows older.

    So especially that all encompassing “What a wonderful year this was” -post… I do that every year, have done ever since Facebook was launched. It just helps me sum up the year and what was special about it, so when we do the wall updating (The real wall!), this is the first point of contact to go to.

    Obviously, what’s written in the article is only the writer’s point of view – but to me it feels a bit glass-half-empty -thinking that if people describe their life via FB and it seems very adventurous or exciting, that those people are automatically some kind of major assholes. In that case, maybe a break from FB might be in order 🙂

  • This comment has been removed by the author.

  • I have a hard time taking seriously the criticisms of a writer who goes into great detail about how selfish and vain others’ Facebook posts are, when his core reasoning for criticizing these statuses is “the things you say on your OWN facebook should be more beneficial to ME ME ME than to yourself.” That’s actually pretty self-centered and bitter in its own right. Other people’s success makes me happy for them, not angry. And if they’re post-bragging to benefit themselves, then it’s sad that all the wonderful things in their life aren’t uplifting on their own, and I hope they learn to get past that.

    For those people whose posts DO frequently bother me, I either hide their posts or–if it’s especially terrible–unfriend them. I don’t passive-aggressively quote their post and tear it apart ad nauseum like a bitter high school cheerleader.

    Then again, that’s just me.

    • Anonymous

      Agree. If they post something about having their promotion or passing the boards for example, I feel happy for them and I don’t fake congratulate them. If it makes you feel jealous then maybe something is wrong with you. And also, people who brags indefinitely in facebook and are annoying tends to be annoying in person too, so why befriend them?
      Delete them on your account!

  • Anonymous

    I would like to apologize for everyone’s behavior. It was a funny article, and some people just need to lighten up.

  • Anonymous

    There may be something else at work here. I sometimes feel that many people, faced with many choices, pick one communication tool and use it for everything. There’s a lot of stuff that shouldn’t go out by Facebook, but then there’s a lot of stuff that shouldn’t go out by email, or one’s blog, or whatever.

    That said, this article is probably why I hardly ever do anything on Facebook. FB seems to be composed primarily of stuff that no one cares about, except for those who would already know. If there’s something about my life that comparative strangers would really want to know, it’s probably on the news, told better than I could tell it.

  • Anonymous

    Anybody who spends this much effort being bothered by some innocuous posts on social media really needs to rethink their priorities, perhaps visit a therapist to get rid of that nagging sense of self-loathing and insecurity. Yeah I don’t care if it’s supposed to be funny, but look at this poor guy, he puts so much thought into it, it’s clearly true for him on some level.

  • I’m going to re-post this so that my friends think I’m smart and knowledgable. Wait… isn’t being smart and knowledgable really the same thing?

  • This article is complete GENIUS! I wish I wrote it because it perfectly explains exactly what I find so objectionable about so many FB posts. And obviously the people who are commenting that they hate this post are seeing a liiiittttle too much of themselves here. You rock!

  • Kevin38

    Love the article. Afraid sharing it might constitute image crafting.

  • I’m confused now…I am still special…right?

  • Anonymous

    What about random song lyrics posts? Would those be in the “The Step Toward Enlightenment” category? Its definitely narcissistic, because Daniel thinks his taste in music, or art, is more profound, and he can see the “deeper” meaning of the lyrics that no one else can. Personally, those posts annoy me the most.

    PS. This is an amazing article. Loved every bit of it, and I think we share the same opinion of the topic. And I might have found myself in some of those categories… oops.

  • Anonymous

    I will now be sharing my opinion of cake and the weird smelling lockers at the gym more often, perhaps directly to your FB page, so I can continue to feed your twice weekly “cry for attention” “Look how clever and sarcastic I am! LOOOOOK!” blogging habit.
    Also, good luck in N Korea. Thanks for posting the announcement of that super awesome trip that we can’t wait to hear about!

  • Anonymous

    Was a good until last point which could arguably be part of region C and put you in category 8

    8) Negative dick head

  • Anonymous

    interesting article. great point that people sometimes seem to have less and less awareness of the relevance of their postings to their audience…unfortunately there seems to be a trend now also of facebook like behavior spreading to other forms of communication (mass texts sharing pictures of cute things or asking for opinions about trivial things like what color socks to buy, or emails with no subject and no text, only containing a link to an article) How ironic that with the advent of so many social media tools that people’s ability to communicate seems to be degenerating…

  • Anonymous

    apparently, many people are not aware that they can categorize their Facebook friends as how they can categorize their friends and acquaintance. *rolls eyes*

    rule of categorizing:
    1. make sure your boss and parents are separate category from your friends
    2. make sure you can make the right people suffer from your posts
    3. make sure your working mate cannot see your blunders

    image crafting is important for career.

  • you’re full of shit

  • Holy shit! Does anyone actually read all this stuff?

    • Anonymous

      working my way through it. the article is hilarious.

    • The

      Hurt? haha!

  • Anonymous

    lol, this is excellent!

    talking to God or dead people falls into #4?

    I find soooo annoying people saying happy birthday or hi to dead relatives/friends.

    WHYYYYY!!??? like they had FB…

  • Anonymous

    Stop using FB. Problem solved.

  • The only status updates I post are contests.

    And usually only visible to my family.

  • Anonymous

    Ironic the article is unfinishable. I’m totally with the dude on the first ‘horrendous’ post. Good for him.

  • I thought this was great. The author left out a very special kind of annoying status update that I believe falls into category #6: the “RIP (insert name of celebrity who just died)”

  • Anonymous

    The thing you read over and over that made you rage? It wasn’t for you! It was for the people named in the post! It was to tell his girl he loved her and his friends he had a great time with them that year. That’s a post that you post to be like “hey friends, I care about you and value your time!” so of course some random chucklefuck who isn’t invested in your personal life at all since you’re a stranger wouldn’t give a shit.

    But let’s tear this bullshit down further..

    1, the brag: you use another example wherein the posters friends are tagged. As I said above, the post is for them as a group – they’re sharing a memorable moment, and even if it is “braggy” who doesn’t like seeing that their friends are having a good time? Jerks. That’s who. OP is a jerk. 1b, one of the examples used is going on a trip and asking if anyone knows someone who wants to rent their place while they’re gone. That is a legitimate request. Chances are, this persons friends already know their friend has this place, so it’s not bragging to say it exists for rent. It’s also safe to assume that friends are already aware of the trips their buddy takes if they are taken often enough. 1c, ok, that does get irritating, but everyone is that irritating when they’ve just been bitten by the love bug, irl and online. Maybe you’re incapable of love or friendship? That would explain this post.

    I’ll agree that 2, the cliffhanger, is just the op begging for attention, and that it’s annoying, but the kind of people that post those are doing it on purpose as a call for help. Usually when someone posts things like that, they mean “I need comfort, please send kind words” and a real friend would understand that, take the bait and ask what happened, and offer a shoulder to cry on or services as an assassin.

    3, literal statuses, can be for two things: 1, sharing with friends who, one can assume by virtue of their friendship, give a shit about your life, and 2, letting them know where you are. 2 is important here since it can serve both as an invitation to meet up if you’ll be nearby, or as a warning that you’ll be busy so contacting you during that period will probably fail. Friend stuff. Sure, it’s not important to know the whereabouts of some stranger, but as I said, these posts are for FRIENDS.

    • Anonymous

      4, public private messages. Ok, some of these are annoying as balls. The first example kind where the post is obviously targeted toward one person in particular are irritating and I make it a point to troll those posts, but posts about enjoying time with your kids/friends? It’s safe to assume your friends care that you’re having fun with friends/family. Also, injokes… INJOKES ARE FOR FRIENDS YOU LONELY FUCKTRUMPET.

      5, the thank you speech, is…. do I even need to say it? They’re thanking their FRIENDS for being proper friends. And they’re not “out of nowhere” at all. Generally these sorts of posts come after some sort of ordeal or epiphany that warranted them.

      6, obvious opinions. It’s your wall, post your opinions. That’s what it’s there for. And not all opinions are obvious. 7, quotes and ponderings, like #6, are opinions but some of them are ones other people said that you agree with.

      “he sliced through my soul, accomplishing nearly every terrible status type and motivation discussed above. The thing is, though, that if you looked right below his post, all you saw were likes and a couple friendly comments.”

      Gasp and alarm! Dan’s friends and family care about his life! Who would have thought! Humans… -like- when good things happen to people they like!

      There’s a really simple way to avoid the posts you hate. Stop reading strangers facebook posts. Stick to the one or two people in your monkeysphere that you actually can muster fucks to give about.

      Plus you missed the obvious fuckawful post types: people who cycle the same 3-4 posts over and over, people who share a million images of text with bullshit hipster quotes, and people who play Zynga games.

  • I’m sad this didn’t mention those status updates that friends post that basically say “There’s no way your life could suck more than mine. PITY ME NOW!!”

  • Anonymous

    From Facebook’s Login page:

    “Facebook helps you CONNECT and SHARE with the people in your life.” (emphasis: mine)

    It’s interesting how people who hate/disagree with the article are automatically called out as narcissists, and the poster is immediately labeled bitter and selfish (though I admit that I have a hard time seeing the “joke” part in the tone of his writing, especially after reading his own comment on the post). I think we have all fallen to our own form of narcissism by forgetting that Facebook was made for EVERYONE to “connect and share” (not inappropriate or spam content, of course) and thinking that we have the right to tell others what they can and cannot share and with whom (again, barring the inappropriate or spam). It’s narcissistic to push our individual opinions of what is and isn’t annoying on everyone else. We’re all annoyed by different things. Yes, people can be annoying on Facebook. I’d rather someone be annoying in a place where I can ignore them rather than face-to-face.

  • Anonymous

    This entire article is based on the assumption that your friends on facebook are no actual friends but mere acquaintances. Maybe only allow people to see your posts that are involved in your life and refer all the others to your linkedin account.

  • Anonymous

    Very interesting analysis in that article !

    However, having a social existence always require image crafting and attention craving. And lets be honest, you often need a bit of narcissism and jealousy inducing to attract people attention.

    But you’re entirely true. It’s all about having the good public, as you should be doing those things for the right people, the one surrounding and caring. Certainly not your 800 friends.

    Thanks for the funny reading. See, that was from a good “Region B” Facebook post .. ; )

  • There’s a lot being said in the article and in the comments. So of course I want to share an opinion as well 🙂 I think the reasons listed in the article and everything else in article, and in the comments, is why Facebook exists. There’s no “right” way to use Facebook and well we get what we get. If you actually know the people who you’re friends with on Facebook, are you really all that surprised by what they’re posting?

  • Anonymous

    All photos are insufferable? This is the point where I stopped reading this article, and started seeing this author as someone who should delete his or her profile.

    • Anonymous

      Agreed! Not all photos are insufferable. That was going too far.

  • Anonymous

    The author breaks it down and tells it like it is…thank you for making me realize humans aren’t perfectly informative or funny all the time because being interesting all the time is what makes life interesting right?

  • I feel like hundreds of people missed the point of the article and overreacted. I knew the point of this before I even got to:

    “The bigger point here is that the qualities of annoying statuses are normal human qualities—everyone needs to brag to someone here and there, everyone has moments of weakness when they need attention or feel lonely, and everyone has some downright ugly qualities that are gonna come out at one time or another.”

    Relax. Laugh a little.

  • Anonymous

    Its funny but whatever one comments on your article can also be interpreted as someone trying to be wise/funny/self important etc etc.:), but I really loved this article, it expresses most of what I feel about fb. one thing I was thinking of was, when you mention the wisdom quote point, that people think they are making some amazingly wise point, it really really annoys me when they copy paste someone else s spoken or written words as their own and never bother to reference it. really really annoys me. one-we didn’t need to know your personal favorite quote/words every single day and even if you do subject us to it, please atleast do the courtesy of quoting the source, you have other people liking your status as if it were born out of your own ‘creative’ mind!not done!!!

  • Anonymous

    Facebook is the way to open ours thoughts about what are some of the daily things we do ,want to do ,think about ,and also is the space where people can ask each other to be friend .Facebook is the part of our life ,it keeps us in touch with our friends ,by seeing what they do or plan to do .

  • Anonymous

    I think the author of this blog post did a brilliant job codifying just about everything that has driven me from Facebook. What a huge pile of narcissistic, egomaniacal, boring wank the whole thing is…

  • “Secondly—you know what inspires people? You achieving something incredible and letting it be an example and inspiration to others.”

    But don’t post about it– that’s narcissistic!

    The author has confused Facebook with LinkedIn or the New York Times perhaps. Facebook is an online school hallway or workplace water cooler. Everything this ass complains about is EXACTLY what Facebook is for.

    Don’t like it? Then stop friending people you don’t give a fuck about, idiot.

  • Anonymous

    I may agree with you, but isn’t the above what Facebook is truly all about?

  • Somehow I just recall one weibo posted by Wang Xiaochuan Monday, CEO of Sougou, which was really ambiguous, yet got hundreds “Like”. What really matters is who you are or who is reading.

  • K10

    The most ironic thing about this post? People are posting it on Facebook. So the butthurt author is getting attention through the social media outlet he/she claims to hate. Bless their heart.

  • Anonymous

    Lots of people seem a bit, uh, butt-hurt by this. It’s like they’ve been called out on participating in the whole ridiculous Facebook affair and the 90% of it that is essentially about acting like you’re in Middle School. Which is kind of funny.

  • Anonymous

    Funny, because it’s all true.

    But at the same time, it can say a lot about the “receiving end” of the behavior described.

    [brag?]I myself am usually happy when someone on my FB (all of whom I know in person) says they finished their thesis, or their child did something cute, or they are going on a cool trip, or whatever.[/brag]

    Are you annoyed because one of your friends is doing well or is happy? Hm, interesting…

    OK, they might be faking the happiness, image crafting or whatnot. Well, their problem. If they tell me their life is awesome, I will believe them, think “good for you”, and go on with my life.

    The inspirational ones are a bit annoying to me, so I just ignore them — unless they are ironical/parody/sarcastic/all of the above. After two or three words one already knows to skip, right? (which might make you unjustly skip a parody one, but one usually knows which friends will commit each, so that’s all good)

  • Anonymous

    This article is amazing! Hilarious AND truthful. All of you people who disagree with it are probably guilty of at least 6 of these 7 offenses.

  • Okay.
    A: This post is a HUGE Number 7. Yes, the sun IS bright! The target audience knows it, and only the dull-blades among them will be thankful to the author for pointing it out.
    B: That opening “email from a friend” is a GIGANTIC Number 1B. Okay, so you’re young and happening and you live in New York and your pals are pals with pals who hang with Owen Wilson and go to $600-a-plate Democratic fundraisers.
    C: So yeah, this post is a hideous example of most of the shit for which the author is feigning worldly contempt.
    Thanks for nothing.

  • Anonymous

    I managed to get through this article despite the salty language.

    Most of the things you dislike about your friends’ posts are the very things that I want to know.

    This paragraph says it all: (quote) > “People who don’t love you don’t care about you or your day or your life that much, they’re probably not especially rooting for you, and they certainly want nothing to do with your worst qualities. And you doing something purely to serve your emotional or egotistical needs really should not show up on their computer screen—it just shouldn’t.” (end quote)

    If you don’t love someone and don’t care about him, then why did you become his “friend”? When I submit a friend request to someone, it is precisely because I do care about that person, and I am interested in what she is doing and thinking about. And I expect that anyone who sends me a friend request feels that way about me.

  • Anonymous

    it’s an opinion piece and totally subjective. everyone stop crying and stop taking social media so seriously. IT’S NOT REAL LIFE. that’s why it’s funny.

  • Anonymous


  • Anonymous

    made me ponder…. Are all of our actions motivated by our selfish nature?

  • Anonymous

    OMG, that was hilarious. I laughed out loud! Ok, that was image crafting.. I didn’t laugh at all… but I did inwardly. I’m a happy person…

  • Anonymous

    i like it. especially the idea of an roll button or f you button.

    although callus and negative i could see some positive strokes to guide those who dont know.

    But i id enjoy the fact that i am one of those doing all 7 in my total relationship with FB.

    I have stepped away from FB for a time and it was the best thing ever. my life got better LOL.

    the greatest part of this article the comment on human nature and a sign of our desperate

    culture which is socializing narcissistic behavior as normal. Cultivating great content and

    should be some good rules on how to for those need it.

    thank you

  • Anonymous

    Well maybe Facebook is about the author and not the reader – have you thought about that?

  • Anonymous

    You missed out one of the biggest – checking in at international airports. Why oh why would anyone do that! (why would anyone check in anywhere???)

    • Anonymous

      So you can stalk them in case they are hot chicks. I like those check ins.

    • Anonymous

      Good thinking. Where’s the Like button? 🙂

    • Anonymous

      Checking in at airports: Obviously a category 3 offense.

  • Amy

    Just to be clear, the only acceptable (or not ‘insufferable’) Facebook post is one that serves YOU, amuses YOU or educates YOU?

    Well if that ‘aint narcissistic, I don’t know what is.

    For me, an insufferable Facebook post is one that links to a negative and ignorant blog post like this one.

    • Anonymous

      He said the opposite of that. He said that’s what NOT to do. Have a look at it again.

    • Anonymous

      Learn how to read. You may have grazed this article, but you obviously didn’t process it! That’s not at all the message that the author is trying to convey… lol

    • Lol I get you Amy. Those telling you to read again should read your post again.

      To spell it out: By “YOU” she meant the author.

    • I couldn’t agree w/ you more, Amy.

      This guy is an egotistical DICK WAD who clearly is part of problem with this world/country: he/she only thinks “me, me, me, me”.

      What a fucking wanker.

  • Anonymous

    I totally agree with the author.
    I don’t post all that crap, ever! I use facebook to post a few pics of me and chat up chicks (using the messenger) so I can shag them. There you go, this is the truth plain and simple, and I bet a lot do exactly the same.
    I don’t even read people’s status, I only look for hot bikini pictures and location updates so I know where I can go “randomly” meet them.
    If I want to share with my family I upload albums on picasa.

  • Anonymous

    Fantastic article, I think that he’s dipped into most of the selfish type attributes that Facebook users bring about on the website – these come typically from a selfish human gene that we all carry. Some of of us treat this gene lightly and others banish the thought of it completely. Personally I think this article is a good code to follow for people to start realising that life should be more about living ones life for others, and putting others first, caring and asking how their day was and how their life is going rather than blatantly over advertising our own ego’s and trying to drill perceptions into other peoples heads that mean nothing to anyone else other than themselves.

  • Best way never to offend anyone–never post anything.

  • Anonymous

    The biggest puzzle here is the fact that people can actually contrive to be annoyed by a social website in which have the choice of participating. Clearly everyone is annoyed at themselves for being doofus enough to waste their lives online.
    If using Facebook for its intended purpose annoys you, then stop using it.

  • Anonymous

    Just so all you new mothers know, nobody but you and your mother give a flying fuck about your baby. It’s in the green zone. We don’t need to be bombarded with pictures of your childs first shit, first vomit, first wank, first whatever.
    Your child is not the most amazing little snookywooky or whatever the hell nauseating crap you want to call it. It’s one of millions of other snotty little shit factories the rest of us only care about when it’s being too noisy.

    • Anonymous

      Haha.. Agree %100! I LOVE kids, dont get me wrong, but you hit the nail on the head there bud!

    • Anonymous

      And enough with first day of school pictures.
      … and halloween costumes.


      and I have 2 of the most amazing children, EV. ER.
      you won’t see them on facebook, though.

    • Anonymous


  • Anonymous

    Lotta people butthurt about being called out for their annoying Facebook habits. It is funny because there is an element of truth in it…

    • Anonymous

      Very true – their own little ox has been gored. In any case, people really need to lighten up; this essay is intended to be funny, which it is. To become hysterically angry over this is really, really weird.

    • Anonymous

      Am I answering my own posts here?

    • Anonymous

      The author wrote this as a kneejerk response to his own crippling jealousy. End of story.

      Several Decembers in a row, n lieu of a Christmas card, my cousin sent an 8-page missive filled with glossy photos of everything she did with her wonderful husband and beautiful children that year. It was sickening. I finally stopped opening them, knowing the dark self-loathing place these letters sent me to (and right before Christmas, how jolly). Since Facebook began, I’ve found more people like my cousin, and if while reading their updates, I feel myself going to that place, I hide their stuff.
      My jealousy is mine to work through.

      In the end, when you read about others’ “perfect” lives on Facebook, the only person responsible for making you feel like crap is you. Own it and deal with it. You’ll feel better.

    • Anonymous

      I agree, lots of people criticizing this article frankly don’t seem to understand that not only do they not have to take this seriously, but end up insulting this article and being defensive for whatever reason, as if they want to say that other facebook users can’t have a different opinion on how to use facebook. Which is extremely ironic.

    • Anonymous

      This reads like a manual for trolls. Think I’m gonna start using some of these examples myself.

  • Anonymous

    Wow. The butt-hurt haters in this thread, criticizing the author of this post, are quite the special little snowflakes. They are also obtuse, because they missed the point of this article; the author wasn’t ridiculing people who post life events on Facebook – only the folks who are boastful show-offs. These butt-hurt special little snowflakes in this thread need to check their privilege, and they need to put this article in perspective – it’s only a jab at boastful people, and not a tragedy such as 9/11. Grow up.

  • ….reducing this to the simplest math: the genuineness of a Facebook post is inversely proportional to one’s number of friends….

  • Anonymous

    It’s funny you know. If I want to post, I think about all my FB friends and what they’d think about my post. For instance, I have some friends that are struggling to make mortgage payments so the last thing I’m going to do is ‘checkin’ at Sydney Airport on my way to my overseas holiday. I have friends that are going through divorces so I’m not going to write dappy things about my happy marriage. I have friends that can barely afford a nice meal, so I’m not going to post about spending $400 on organic food. I have a friend dying of cancer so I’m not going to tell FB about my pissy first world problems. These are the reasons I don’t post on FB. I know a woman who posts and brags constantly about her overseas trips, half her friends have no money to even contemplate a local trip away. I find it disgusting and arrogant. I put it down to this. People who brag about holidays and material things, were brought up with nothing. 99% of my FB friends who behave like this have come from nothing. My privileged friends, NEVER write a word about 6 sleeps until Europe…..etc etc. It’s just the same old pattern. The braggers have no class. My parents brought me up to never boast about what you have.

    • Anonymous

      You, anonymous person, in this anonymous person’s humble opinion, absolutely nailed the matter in the head. That’s what narcissism is at its essence. That one’s life is so interesting that you don’t really have to regard the thoughts or situations of others. The damn thing (Facebook) is ridiculously American.

      I think the whole Facebook concept sort of has evolved neatly from Gen-Y issues – these kids grew up being told how special they are and they really have trouble thinking that someone else would not care that they are currently at the airport in Amsterdam or whatever…

  • Narcissism. The author’s thoughts, opinions, and life philosophies matter. (e.g. a 3,000+ word diatribe of how most of what people choose to share with their friends is insufferable).

  • Anonymous

    Ha ha! Great article and I like the use of Venn and other diagrams to illustrate. I’ll stick to my cat-picture posts & unoriginal thoughts but will be more conscious from now on. Personally, the cliffhanger and the humble brag (1b and 2, respectively) are my pet hates and I hide from my timeline statuses that do that and unfriendly a person if they’re a persistent offender. Also, not on the list (or perhaps you can help me categorise ) is the ignorant idiot a la white whine / first world problems.

    The added benefit of this article is that many of the vitriolic comments that totally miss the humour mark are, in themselves, hilarious!

  • congratulations to the author. Great article, completely agree|

  • Anonymous

    This saved my day. But dare I post it?

  • Anonymous

    What’s funnier: the article itself? Or the amount of defensive butt hurt in the comments, from people who are quite obviously guilty of doing all the things the article points out due to their weakness, narcissism and insecurity?

  • Anonymous

    Its a genuinely funny article and whats funnier is there are so many people who are getting offended because they do this kind of shit everyday. Suck it up people. We all go through this but some of us are just too arrogant to accept it. INTROSPECTION time people.

  • “On my walk home from work, I was whistled at twice, honked at twice, and one car almost caused an accident slowing down to stare at me. Sometimes I really hate men. “

    This is most definitely NOT a undercover brag. It has obviously never happened to you. Constant cat-calling and so-called “complimenting” like being hooted at just makes you feel on display to the world. It’s a re-enforcing a power dynamic.

    If it truly was compliments it would only happen when you looked your best. It doesn’t. It happens because you are a women.

    If you do this – stop. I don’t need to be told that some random man thinks “I’d tap that”. You know what? I don’t want you to.

  • Anonymous

    I really don’t get the point of posting stuff on FB that is intended to make people jealous. If you have an achievement, people who care about you can know about it through phone calls or text messages. The people, on your friend-list, you can’t call or text don’t really give a hoot about it since they are the ones with whom you haven’t been in touch and it doesn’t matter to them what you accomplish in life. So the point of attention craving and jealousy inducing status messages is plain bragging, which is wrong.

  • Anonymous

    Whilst boldly pretending to reveal something new or witty, this insufferably long and pseudo-intellectual article actually only amuses by displaying the whole range of character flaws the author feels so immune about.

  • Anonymous

    This is so funny and true i just shared it on my fb to enlighten my friends… even the ones who don’t love me… just to let them know why the’re insufferable and make sure they keep doing it so FB has a chance to survive and i keep my nosy window on their crafted lives 🙂

  • Anonymous

    I have a friend who doesnt have fb nor iphone nor cell phone. Funny thing is, when he wants to see a friend he visits him. Old ways

  • May I please please please get your ok to translate this in Turkish? I really think some people on my newsfeed need to see this.. and be able to understand, you know.. You can keep the translated version here as another, linked post if you like. Reply to this if you’re up to it.

  • I would classify this blog post as: Image Crafting; Narcissism; Attention Craving.

  • Anonymous

    As a whole, you make some excellent points that hit at the heart of many issues, and your piece is entertaining and funny. That said, I have to disagree with no. 4 and no. 7.

    I take the time to express this because I didn’t read your post just to be casually amused but to actually learn, understand, and think critically about what is happening in culture because of Facebook. Essentially, a tool that promised to bring people closer together has instead become an adept reflector of some of humanity’s worst traits.

    My disagreement with no. 4 just reflects the reality that many of us have different conceptions of what Facebook and social media are for. I signed on to these things initially because I thought they were supposed to be about being “social” online-talking to and interacting with other people as opposed to just ignoring any other post that isn’t one’s own. So nothing makes me happier than to see people interact with other people’s posts because it demonstrates that someone cared enough to get off their own soap box and give a thought to another person instead of the every-man-is-their-own-island one-sided daily self-promotion approach that seems to be the norm. So, if a person tells another person that they miss them (your example above), I think that’s wonderful. I wish more people were that caring on social media. Of course, if the sentiment was genuine, they’d say it on the telephone, by email and/or in person. But if all this new technology has really become a part of our daily lives (and it has), then why wouldn’t we use it to communicate as we do with other modes of communication? It’s just another way to reach out to people. Somewhere along the line I noticed that there was a shift such that people were essentially viewing FB primarily as a means of disseminating information as opposed to interacting with other people (and talking to them online even in personal ways). Personally, I would rather interact with people online than have endless article suggestions or other information for consumption pop up in my feed (as the majority type of post). I’m working on a 2nd graduate degree, I swim in information daily and I have my own news sources. I don’t need any additional information recommended to me as Facebook’s *primary function or use. I do not view that at all as serving me as a “reader.” That isn’t what I used FB for. Again, I thought this was supposed to be about friendships and personal interactions. So when that actually happens on FB, I feel for once that things are right in the social media world.

    My disagreement with no. 7 stems from the fact that I think inspirational quotes are beneficial and encouraging. As someone who has written my own academic articles, I am capable at this point in my training of posting my own thoughts and insights, but I think that it would be a mistake and incredibly proud to think that we cannot learn from the insights and wisdom of others. So I am happy to see inspirational quotes in the newsfeed. In the past, these have really made my day.

    Lastly, I think you’re missing an important, annoying category! People who post about their pregnancies and/or children too frequently. I think this reflects a lot of narcissism and pride. The occasional post is fine, that’s just parental love. But more often than not, people do this to excess.

  • Anonymous

    I like reading people’s good news and happy updates. It doesn’t look like bragging that often to me. There is so much negativity and doom and gloom in the world, I think it’s wonderful to see people expressing happiness and gratitude for good things in life. I also think that the obvious opinion is often necessary because you feel weird if you’re silent on a big tragedy. People are talking about it all over and you feel like a jerk if you don’t express some thought or care about it. Nothing wrong with showing support, I think.

  • Anonymous

    Tip: Don’ read annoying posts on FB. If you do, stop thinking about it. If you think about it, stop writing down your thoughts. If you write down your thoughts, godamn stop posting them!
    Thanks for a list of unnecessary explanations about the reasons, why facebook-user are only human beings and 15 lost minutes of lifetime. (45 minutes, with this answer included)


    Number 8: The Criticizer

    Description: Let the others see, that you’re smarter than them by pinpointing their faults and misguided behaviour. For more self-esteem, add some arrogance!

    Example: See above

    Core reason: Attention craving, narcissism, loneliness.

    To make it short: Someone had a bad day, why not criticize people for what they do?
    Why it is annoying: Unnecessary, especially if the critic resembles the criticized. There are a lot of fails day in and out, get over it. At least, stop telling everyone.

    (Hope, someone understands the irony…)

  • I thought this was more humorous than offensive. I would not internalize this article and directly change my facebook behavior. However, it can cause us to be a little bit more cognizant of the potential impressions our facebook statuses have on others. I appreciate this blog writer for her honesty.

    However, I just want to add that obviously the author exhibits some issues with jealousy. I don’t find myself being jealous of my followers when the post more the narcissistic posts. If anything I am proud of their achievement and it gives me something to work towards i.e. marriage, buying a new house. Maybe if you refocus how your perceive people’s intent you will not think of it so negatively.

    • Anonymous

      The author is not saying HE is jealous. He is saying that the writer of that particular FB post is writing it in the first place to try to illicit a response of jealousy.

  • Anonymous

    feel free to unfriend/ hide their timeline 😀 it’s not that complicated 😀

  • Anonymous

    What are the stick figures next to Section 1) The Brag doing with their arms?

  • Anonymous

    This post hit the nail on the head for me. Now when people ask me why I closed my FB account I can point them to this!

  • Anonymous

    Simple answer. Similar to the answer to censorship. If you don’t like it, don’t read it!!

    There are tools for that, the first of which is the delete button typically actuated by self control.

  • Anonymous

    If someone has good news to share-won the lottery, enjoying a two week trip to Europe, getting married, graduating, getting a new job, having a baby or some other significant life event-why shouldn’t they share it?? If you get jealous or envious, that’s your problem and your issue isn’t it (insecure lately)?? Also, I would say that about half of FB status updates comprise the above complaints; but not everyone who posts those things are necessarily narcissistic. If they’re constantly posting stuff regularly-like more than 2-3 posts a day-with boring, braggy and/or just plain spammy info/photos, they could likely be narcissistic or seeking attention. If you have friends like that, then you can just ignore those posts, hide them or unfriend that person.

    A good rule of thumb is: if it’s a piece of info or photo you wouldn’t share with your good friends via regular email/snail mail – it’s probably not worth posting on Facebook!

  • Anonymous

    Now I’d want to post this on my farcebook status

  • Anonymous

    This article is really funny and the author is probably right. But would I change the things I post on Facebook? Heck no! Because that’s what makes Facebook and even life in general more fun. All the silly things people had to see and hear about us. Wouldn’t it be terribly stifling if we all had to live all our lives just trying to do the “acceptable” thing?

  • Thanks for this!

  • Anonymous


  • It’s a narcissistic era, and the point of FB seems to be to give public space to private discussion, like open email. Anyway, I think people’s conversations about themselves are often interesting – who cares if they are boasting! A person proud of him/herself is actually a good and beautiful thing, as long as the point of the pride is not to do someone else down. If you are secure in yourself, then someone saying “Arent’t I great?” shouldn’t be a challenge…and if you are not, FB’s not for you.

  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous

    My favorite insufferable and desperate fb status:

    “Updating my LinkedIn profile. Realized all the professional photos I have of myself have beehives, horns, fur pants, PVC leather boots, guns, men’s facial hair, blood, zombie makeup, glitter, guns, and food smeared all over my face. Ah well! LinkedIn will read “Professional Administrator” with a badass picture of me with a rifle, Dirty Harry meets Janine from the Ghost Busters.
    …have I mentioned how proud I am of the people I get to work with and the amazing stuff I get to do?”

    • Anonymous

      Douche bag, level complete

  • Anonymous

    So true

  • Anonymous

    Great article!

  • Anonymous

    While it’s true that a lot of people’s statuses are annoying to read, it’s more ridiculous to me that a person is so agitated by it they have to write a whole manual on what is/isn’t ok to post on Facebook. Don’t want to read someone’s post? Keep scrolling. Don’t like what a particular person always posts? Delete them. Or un-follow their updates. It really takes little effort….it takes more effort to be an ego-tripping douche.

  • Very insightful and accurate, helped me understand why FB posts can make me feel actually good or actually lousy – often, lousy. I shared your post and whooo is there a backlash! I think the guilty are reeling from sudden self-awareness and not liking it too much! I guess the truth hurts! (If you ever do a post about the overuse of emoticons and exclamation marks, I don’t want to know about it – I already have self awareness there and still can’t help myself.)
    Admiringly, Me.

  • Anonymous

    I find it ironic that he wrote this publicly, and I also find it ironic that it has Facebook likes.

  • Anonymous

    Ha! This entire read was hilarious, comments and all! Maybe that guy is an asshole but he sure is funny. Thoroughly enjoyed and posted it on facebook. Shit I wonder does that make me a dick and how many likes will I get???

  • The basic principle of this post is great – the online version of “think before you speak.” The details are a little silly. I wrote a response, 7 Ways to Get Over Yourself on Facebok: http://receptionist-the.blogspot.ca/2013/10/7-ways-to-get-over-yourself-on-facebook.html

    (Basic synopsis: you choose who you’re friends with on Facebook, you choose whether you’re on Facebook or not, so what you see on Facebook is up to you. You can’t control others, so deal with it or leave.)

  • Anonymous

    Hilarious. It’s all true.

    Even the ‘humblebrag” thing about a woman getting honked at. Yes, sexual harrassment is super serious and no one should make light of it, which means facebook is not the place to talk about it unless you are actually making light of it. And there is even a way to talk about it without it coming across as bragging like that woman did.

    Go ahead and flame me and tell me I know nothing about sexual harrassment. >_>

  • The sketches are laugh-out-loud inducing. I’m guilty of the last, though.

  • I found this so so hilarious! Facebook is like the zoo of people with a lack of self awareness sometimes. The undercover boaster is a personal bugbear of mine…

  • So funny! Yeah, I love the airport check ins…why do you need to inform everyone that you checked in for your flight? People have been checking in for years without having to inform the masses of their actions. It’s just another reason to brag…can’t we eat a meal, watch a movie, read a book…and just be “in the moment”?

  • My name is Mr Cardenas,my wife was having affair with a senior secretary in her office. I love this woman so much that i would not want to share her with any body. i told her to retire from the job and i would take care of all her needs but she would take it because she is been embraced by everybody in her office, this normally leads to quarrel every-time. i tried all i can to please her and she will promise to be good , some days later she will turn back to her normal way.
    i was nearly loosing out, i could not focus in my job, my whole life was full of sorrow and i was thinking i should kill the other man my self and put an end to all this until i saw a testimony from a blog on how DR EDIONWE could cast a love spell to bring lovers back no matter what is behind the disappointment. so i decided to write him via email. edionwesolutiontemple@yahoo.com and now all my wishes are exactly as i wanted. She told me everything that has happened secretly in the past and i forgave her as DR EDIONWE instructed me to and she loves me and care for me as i ever wanted. i know there are many spells that do not work but i want to assure all you out there no matter what you have been trough to have faith and believe that this is the final solution to your problem.
    Even if my job is taking most of my time, the little free time i have , i will share the good news to everyone in the world because i know that with love brings happiness and hope for a long life.

  • Anonymous

    This is just too funny. People simply think this and laugh to themselves because it is true among other articles you write. You do an amazing job expressing it in words what others want to say but don’t or can’t. Thank you for being the voice. Great website by the way. Enjoy the advice as well. People need to wise up and actually work for what they have. They need to start from the bottom and work their way up and not expect free hand outs. Otherwise, you won’t be successful and become unhappy.

  • i want to thank Dr. Kasabubu for helping me re-uniting with my Ex Lover, i started dating him since 2009, i don’t know what happened he just end the relationship, i was in a great pain. i saw different post on how Dr. Kasabubu helped many people re-uniting with their Ex Lovers, i contacted him via email, i told him my problems, he told me that all my problems are over, he said that before he cast the spell that he will be needing to buy some items in which he will use, i sent him the money he casted the spell, he assured me that it will take three days before the spell will be effective, truly 3 days later, my Ex Lover rang me, i answered the call, he started apologizing, we are together now, he even bought me a new car. i am forever indebted to Dr. Kasabubu the great spell caster. you can get your Ex Lover through him, email him now on kasabubuspellhome@hotmail.com

  • PreciousLevitte

    I am Precious Levitte, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank Olorun for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found (Olorunoduduwaspiritualtemple@gmail.com ) a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. two days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 3 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. Olorun released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I’m writing this testimony right now I’m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my fiance is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that’s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to Olorun for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. email him on; Olorunoduduwaspiritualtemple@gmail.com

  • Anonymous

    Hello,everyone my name is mlmvc from USA i never ever believed in spell until i meet a man called Dr upesa, who help me cast a spell that bring back my ex-lover who left me for one years before our marriage,His spells works beyond my imaginations and today i am happily married two kids and me and my [ex-lover] now husband are very happy more than ever before,what more can i say rather than to say thank you Dr upesa for been there for me,contact him today and your life will never ever remain the same his email is upesalovetemple@gmail.com

  • I think that if someone has a kernal of wisdom, they should post it, maybe with an article. I think the author’s factoids about likes/dislikes are a little fishy. I am pretty sure half my friends don’t even check in to Facebook. Besides, each of our posts just gets strung on a line of others. After a day or so, it’s so far in the past that no one cares. And why not vent one’s opinions through Facebook? I love getting feedback, even if its from only two of my friends. There is also one great use of Facebook – its an excellent dialogue-starter, and I have already seen it fuel revolutions. I guess its all how you look at it.

  • PULSUZ ONLINE E – Nalanda Araşdırma və Tətbiq UNIVERSITY

    Verilməsi ART

    68 yapışqan və tənbəl bir fikir ilə, ən yüksək nail olmaq üçün səbəb səy ilə,
    Kitabçada verilmiş və möhkəm səy ilə, tək buynuzlu kərgədan kimi tək olmaq .


    68 . âraddhaviriyo paramatthapattiyà
    Alãnacitto akusãtavutti ,
    Daëhanikkamo thàma khalåpapanno
    Eko qayğı khaggavisàõakappo .

    Pali indi TIPITAKA 74 dillərə tərcümə olunur bir klassik dilidir. Və bütün bu avtomatik klassik olmaq .

    Doğru zaman qədim olan Brahmins öz maraq təsir edəcək hiss bir şey qarşıyıq. İndi doğru olduğunu əksəriyyəti təhsilli və başqaları daha bir əksəriyyəti din olacaq və PRABUDDHA Bharath çünki Dr BRAmbedkar , Kanshiram və xanım Mayawati reallıq olacaq geri buddizm üçün Jambudvipa orijinal din və bir gözəl gün hərəkət başladı. Bu səbəbdən Buddist izlədi yol düzgün deyil Brahmins tərəfindən yol deyil .

    İndi ki, bütün deyil.

    Güc Konqresi həyata atmaq və BJP geri gəlmək imkan vermir . Onların rifah , xoşbəxtlik və dinclik üçün bərabər cəmiyyətin bütün təbəqələri arasında ölkənin sərvət yaymaq və onların son məqsədi kimi əbədi səadətə onlara imkan Master Açar əldə etmək Support BSP . Bu millətin yalnız ümid edir .

  • Anonymous

    Hello to the Entire Public, Hello, my name is Janices wallocks from
    Housto texas.I came to this site to share the good works of the Native
    Doctor (prophetbaz).I never believed in love,Money spells or magic
    until i meant this powerful spell caster when i went to Africa in
    December last year on a business trip. He is really powerful and he
    can help you cast spells to bring back love one`s gone lost
    ,misbehaving,lover looking for some one to love you,Money
    riches,Winning lotto number, bringing back lost your lover, Bring back
    lost money and magic money spell for a good job,I`m now happy and
    living testimony because the man i had wanted to marry left me 2 weeks
    before our wedding day and my life was upside down cos our
    relationship has been on for years ..I really loved him, but his
    mother was against us and he had no good paying job . So when i meant
    this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the
    situation of things to him..At first, I was undecided, skeptical and
    doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 5days time when i returned
    to Texas, my boyfriend (now my husband,Dr Wallocks) called me himself
    and apologized that everything had been settled with his mum and
    family and he got a new job interview so we should get married .i did
    `t believe it because the spell caster only asked me for my name and
    my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do he did it for me… We
    are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid,and my
    husband also got the new job and our lives became much better and we
    became very rich. In case any one needs the spell caster for some
    help, Email him on this email address:(prophetbaz@gmail.com)
    ……hope he helps you out. Hurry now and contact him now via email
    address:(prophetbaz@gmail.com) .. Thank you very much and i am very
    happy right now.. Janices wallocks

  • My name is Angelica. I want to testify the great work of Dr.Zack Balo for helping me to get my Ex boyfriend and my job back.I thank Dr.Zack Balo for helping me to recover all what i have lost before back,this is why I said I must tell the whole world, what he did for me is real, if you need his help you can contact him via wiseindividualspell@gmail.com.

  • I want to thank DR. ekumabor for what he has done for me in my life, After my lover left me without notice i was so frustrated and confused i never knew what to do until i told my friend, After she told me the great deeds of DR.ekumabor on how people talk good about him on radio stations and internet so she gave me the contact. I email dr.ekumaborspellhome@gmail.com and told him how my lover left me for over 3years,He told me just to be happy that i will have him back to my arms that’s its only a matter of time,i was like is this real mean while i had fate in DR ekumabor that he would bring back my lover,amazingly to my surprise after 3days i got a call from my husband who has left me for over 3years begging me for forgiveness,Which i did,And now we are together and he love’s me more than anything on this earth. Please you can contact him for help on this email address; dr.ekumaborspellhome@gmail.com

  • I really wish there was a “dislike button or eye-roll button or middle finger button” for this post 😀


    my name is MELINDA i want to testify about a great spell caster that help me cast a spell that bring my ex boyfriend back to without any delay. I broke up with my ex with just little misunderstanding hoping we will get back shortly,but things was growing worse until i contacted DR. AKHERE who help me with his historical powers to bring him back, without charging me any money for his work, i have never believed in a spell caster until i come across DR. AKHERE Well it will be of great sin if i should go out from here without dropping the contact of this great spell caster,in case you need the help of this great spell caster you can contact him through his email: once you contact him all your problems will be over,once again i say very big thanks to you sir for helping me to recover my ex back, and please sir keep your good work cause people need your helping hand in their lives.once more contact him on his email drakherespiritualtemple@gmail.com

  • Anonymous

    Hello every one my name Jessica from Canada i have just met with this priest Dr Okpoko of the Dr.okpokospellhome@gmail.com and i finally find out that he is really a truthful spell caster and so powerful and he is the most powerful spell caster that i have ever met. i wish i have met her before. and husband have just come back to me and every thing happened just the way he had said it i am so happy that i have met with him and now i have my husband back to my self.if you all that are here have not tried him you just have to do so and get your heart desires fulfilled. stop been doubting i have tested him and i am now a fulfilled woman.Email: ( Dr.okpokospellhome@gmail.com ) promise I told tata, about my problem and told him needed a spell to get my ex back. He assured me he could help me, so i did all the necessary things he asked me to and i made payment for the spells. He told me he would come back to me in 3days.i waited and on the 3th day, behold i saw him Crying, begging for forgiveness.

  • Anonymous

    Also where people post talking directly to their dead relative about how much they miss them. I hope I’m not on Facebook when I’m dead. Or directly to their child who can’t even read yet, let alone have a Facebook account, to say how proud they are of them. Defriend. Done.

  • Anonymous

    I thought this article (like all of them) was humorous, but misguided. The problems I found can kinda be summed up in the last section:
    “People who don’t love you don’t care about you or your day or your life that much, they’re probably not especially rooting for you, and they certainly want nothing to do with your worst qualities. And you doing something purely to serve your emotional or egotistical needs really should not show up on their computer screen—it just shouldn’t.”

    First, people who don’t love you don’t care about you – that is a pretty bold, unsupported statement. You make the logical connection, “Those who care about you must love you.” Even if we assumed that was true, the reader is led to think that most of your friends on facebook aren’t your actual friends – as if Facebook isn’t a site that “connects people with friends and others who work, study and live around them,” it’s an unguided media outlet where we’re just supposed to post funny pictures and videos. That is, how should I say, wrong.

    People who do not care about your day or your life should probably not be your facebook friends. I don’t think Image Crafting is accurately named annoying – you craft an image whenever you give information about yourself in general. Finally, the bubbles you give in the beginning are completely subjective. You don’t have a formula for what will be positive to everyone – you just assume that they will care about what you have to say because, well, they’re your friends. That’s all I got.

  • My stepdaughter & her entire family hold conversations on facebook that should be personal messages sent to each other. By sharing everything so publicly, I can only imagine that they think their conversations are facinating to everyone else. People everywhere are oversharing these days, thinking they are the star of their own reality show, their facebook page.

  • Anonymous

    Am I the only one who didn’t think this was a joke and agreed with every sentence? Because after reading the comments and seeing so many angry/defensive responses I realized maybe this was written entirely for humor, but I completely see what the author’s talking about and find the main motivations for these types of comments to be exactly what’s stated (attention craving, narcissism, etc). Yes, I’ve posted a few “pulled an all-nighter again” posts, and every once in a while most of these types of status updates are tolerable or even amusing/inspirational/touching, but they happen too frequently to be anything but annoying most of the time. People just think their lives are too damn important these days, but oh-wait, that’s what facebook is for, right? For people to publicly showcase their lives and opinions and then actually receive attention/whatever-they-want for it because they aren’t getting enough of it in real life (often because NOBODY CARES)? No, I’m not some bitter, people-hating douche-bag, and I get that a lot of people like facebook and reading all of these obnoxious comments (even if they say they hate them, but come on – people that complain about stuff like this are often on facebook all the time), but I don’t like it. Oh, that’s why I rarely go on facebook. But yeah, regardless of my dislike for these types of posts, the reason I like this article is because it realistically and straight-forwardly calls all of those irritating facebook posters out on their bullshit and reminds them that they are posting that crap for the above reasons, which is why there are so many angry replies.

    Anyway, amazing article. 😉

  • Anonymous

    Love this page. I wreckon everyone should be private about their everyday general, personal life.

  • I am thankful to you that doesn’t seem like enough to say after all that.

  • Heh, you forgot one major one – the viral. The repost. Whether it’s reposted viral links, “cause” statuses demanding ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ or shares of somebody’s photo that everybody else has already liked and shared for some reason, virals are attention-seeking and manipulative, and just about the most annoying a person can get.

  • Anonymous

    Instead of writing stupid, and “uninteresting” articles (the title alone said enough for me so I didn’t bother reading the entire thing), this person needs to learn how to filter and be happy for his fellow human beings.

    If you’re not happy with what someone posts on THEIR OWN page, filter it or better yet, do them a favor of not dealing with you and unfriend them. If you want to wallow in your own annoying, uninteresting world that revolves only around you… create a facebook page and don’t add anyone to it and start posting things that only interest you!
    I didn’t bother seeing who the author was either but In general, the reason for picking on other people’s status updates is probably because they’re miserable with their own life.

  • Anonymous

    Furthermore… for those of you who think this is a joke and people who don’t like it should “chill out,” you’re just as bad. It just goes to show how self centered, intolerant and pathetic people in today’s society have come to be. Most of us add friends to Facebook to do just what Facebook is intended for, to share our lives with one another because many of us are too busy to do it any other way. I understand that some of them can be annoying, but I guarantee we can all be annoying at one time or another in our lives. Get out of your own self-centered worlds and maybe next time you see a sad status, as what is wrong and suggest that it probably isn’t a good idea to keep posting that way on facebook. Believe it or not, people do listen. And the next to you see someone happy for a success they have achieved, try being truly happy for them instead of angry because you’re miserable and haven’t worked as hard! Start caring instead of making fun of people. Life is too short!!!

  • Anonymous

    I found this page just because I was bored…. Now I’m just feckin angry!!!! Blah to Facebookery!!!!! Thanks for putting into words everything I ever hated about Facebookers I knew they got on my wick… Just didn’t really know why….

  • Anonymous

    Many of we readers are interested to know how the author of this article classifies it, especially since the very worst of what the post rants against is exemplified in it.

  • Anonymous

    Rollergirl… looks to me like you have a stalker… Read this whole page and every. single. time. you post there’s dude, just ANXIOUS to tell you you’re not good enough. Just keep being you and let this fool continue to be a HUGE annoyance to all of the internet world.

    I get it, and I agree with you: “if you don’t like it don’t look… or even better, delete me”… Last I looked it says MY name at the top of my FB page, so I can write whatever in the hell I want as my status. And suck a D if you don’t like it. You’re not the social media police, and really – no one gives a flying rat’s ass what you think is or isn’t insufferable on FB!

    I, for one, like reading about how proud my friends are – yes even only Facebook friends – that they finished their masters or got into med school, or had a great time at their first pro sporting event (or their thousandth)… and HEY, I also love reading a good quote and have quite a few FB friends that have actually lifted my spirits at times simply by posting a quote. And it’s just a shame that person that wrote this has such a saaaad life that they can’t see that maybe, just maybe, people are BETTER than self-absorbed douchebags (like the author??) and posts quotes in the hopes it WILL INDEED help someone along the way.

    This whole thing reads to me of someone that has such a small opinion of their own little life, and was actually insanely jealous that they had nothing of interest happen in their lives that was worth writing about and thought they could put some value to their miserable life by pointing writing this garbage. juss’ sayin’

  • Highly enlightening and entertaining……but you’ve left me ‘cliffhanging’. 🙂 How about a follow-up post that tells me how to be a good Facebooker!

  • Anonymous

    omg there is so much hate in this article! injection of love to you <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

  • Anonymous

    Oh my, I’ve just spotted this one. I don’t know this person (friend of a friend who’s facebook status is public – because this is too important to confine to friends and must be shared with the world…)

    “2013 is almost over! I want to take this time to be grateful. This year I have been in Indonesia, Holland, Italy, Malaysia, Thailand, Germany, Spain, and for short stop-overs in Saudi-Arabia, Switzerland and even a whole day in Kuwait I have lost a few pounds, adopted a puppy and a kitten, learned and loved to drive a scooter, sang karaoke in a very special place in Thailand, worked on a sailing boat, survived a bronchitis, got acupuncture, got addicted to Starbuck’s, ram a knive into my hand, missed my grandfather’s 85th birthday, ate more durian than I could dream of, and overall met so many new and wonderful people on the way. Thanks to everybody who gave me support or a hug, thanks to all these good people out there who take care of my cat or supported our business Balini or gave us a place to sleep.
    I wish you all a very happy christmas, buone feste, feliz navidad, fröhliche Weihnachten! And mucho Gin Tonic
    I feel blessed to the bones.”

  • Pingback: Google()

  • PJ

    I think one of the WORST behaviors on FB is the e-card with “Share if you agree!” “Cats and dogs deserve to live without suffering! Share if you agree! Family is the most important thing! Share If You Agree! World hunger needs to be stopped! SHARE IF YOU AGREE!!” Because your self-righteous passive-aggressive post is smugly saying that if I don’t share this mindless glurge, I DON’T agree and am a horrible person.

  • PJ

    Also wanted to say that this is the best-written summary of the FB problem that I’ve seen yet. I’m happy to realize that I never post that way myself. I only post my original joke e-cards, or share others’ funny posts. I was going to link to this article on FB, but I realize that a lot of my friends (real friends, I have only 46 on FB, people I actually know in real life) do sometimes post this kind of crap, and I don’t want to hurt their feelings. But kudos, very well-written and cogent article.

  • Pingback: what kind of image are you crafting? | Quad City Moms Blog()

  • Matt

    I’ll take reasons why google plus is better than Facebook for 1000 please! You can target messages to your S.O., mom and pops, and everyone easily. Too bad it wasn’t created first because I can’t keep up with two social networks at once.

  • The thing I think is most brilliant about this article and many of the comments is that we all know we do alot of the ‘insufferable stuff’, including the author… but the fascinating phenomenon is that we all find ourselves still checking Facebook. If it were truly insufferable, we all know that we don’t have to check it, and even more, we don’t have to read posts from people we don’t care about… but STILL we end up wasting chunks of our day and even find time to get annoyed, and comment on the very things that we then bitch about.

  • Pingback: xbox games()

  • Sushi


    ha ha ha ha ha!
    Thanks for the chuckle. That was awesome.

  • Eric

    Agreed with all replied concerning author’s own narcissism and xenophobia. What’s worse is she/he didn’t even cover the truly annoying, insidious aspect of FB: the ads and their marketing strategies.

  • Pingback: Facebook Makes Me Want to Repeatedly Punch Myself in the Head | ohhellwhatthehell()

  • Jae Li

    I’ll bet that most of those who hated the article realized they are guilty of the annoying social behavior the author outlines. Joking or not, its an accurate observation and if you take a hard look at yourself, you’ll realize he may be right.

  • Squarebear

    This is absolute gold! I want to marry your mind. I acknowledge my contribution to the Facebook crimes against good taste and resolve to do better. Fantastic, still chuckiling!

    • Jae Li

      Its okay Squarebear, no need to get bent out of shape. You are obviously a very intelligent man or woman and should be changing your fb picture and cover instead of reading this garbage.

  • Anonymous

    you forgot boredom!!!!

  • Pingback: Fear Of Missing Out - NO FOMO |()

  • Phin Mackness

    This is genius. Enjoyed reading

  • Pingback: La formula della Felicità --> [ FELICITÀ= REALTÀ - ASPETTATIVE ] un articolo che dovrebbe farci riflettere...Preventivo Sito Web Agenzia Web Roma Creazione Siti Web Wordpress SEO()

  • Pingback: Everyone thinks they can write | Cracking Content()

  • Pingback: Everyone thinks they’re a writer | Cracking Content()

  • Pingback: Perchè la nostra generazione è infelice | Caffè News()

  • Gayle

    I got this website from my pal who informed me on the topic of this site and now this time I am browsing this site and reading very informative articles here.

  • Anon

    Thats why I hardly post.. Most of the posts are completely lack luster, generic and stupid which serves like a recycling plant…

  • Haha

    Made my day! Thanks for this funny and true article! I hate Facebook.

  • Pingback: the inaugural (untitled) first post. | Living Room Librarian()

  • joniwriter

    Love it! A good laugh. And I admit it, I’m guilty of at least 3. And now I’m going to try practicing the other four to really torment my readers.

  • sheetal

    u r literally screwing everyone :)…. good insight 🙂

  • Pingback: Jesus, Instagram, and the dead museum of social media. | Joshua S. Porter()

  • Pingback: The Board Network Blog | The new authenticity: More nuanced than simple transparency()

  • Manda

    Overall, tl;dr….much like your friends annoying status. I don’t like people who constantly brag about their relationships, but if you are such an insufferable human you don’t want people to post when they get a new job, a degree, into law school, etc…maybe you should rethink having them on your FRIENDS list. Accomplishments to be proud of absolutely deserve a spot on facebook. Didn’t people used to send out cards about graduating or something? At least now you don’t have to send virtual money.

    Maybe if you were a better writer, you’d be more successful and less of a miserable hater consumed by everyone else’s accomplishments and happiness on the Internet.

  • RandomReader

    I do think many of these kinds of posts are annoying. But the whole issue becomes moot if you only “Friend” people who fall into the red circle in the diagram.

  • Pingback: Positive Reinforcement Loop | A Non-Sequitur Haze()

  • Rachel

    Jesus, I’m glad I don’t do Facebook. Going by this article, it seems like a constant circle of navel gazing and over-analyzing of other people’s intentions.

  • Tom Cahill

    Your post was totally insufferable. You did all or most of the things you accuse others of. Really, it’s social media. GTF over youself, or find yourself an anti-social media to hang out on. Start your own and call it Grumpy Wanker Book

  • Pingback: coming full Circle | La Bloguer(r)a()

  • Anonymous

    Actually, every person on my Face Book list is family, or real life friends. I don’t feel bad for letting folks know how I feel, albeit in a restricted access way, or with saying thanks to same en masse after certain kinds of events or holidays. As to quotes: I like passing on info and sayings that appeal to me. Especially if they ignite debate. As to the author of this article, well, you represent the most annoying thing on Face Book or any other media for that matter. The presumption you display in dictating an etiquette for the media is worthy of a Victorian Miss. Manners. Why would any of the above annoy you? It is not yours, and cannot affect you in any way unless your psyche is so constitutionally weak and vulnerable that any gust can unseat it. In which case, this is an unwise medium to troll for things to annoy you. One can ‘ignore’, ‘block’, ‘hide’ anything you want, which is a much more respectful thing to do than dictating proper behaviour to others.

    But that would demand real social maturity, rather than the attention seeking pose this article exemplifies.

  • fortessimo

    First, pardon my English as it is my second language.

    Thank God there is “unsubscribe” option now, so we can be spared of unnecessary information. It is actually trickier with close friends, because it is rude to unfollow them, and they expect some of their photos to be liked etc.

    I think you should write how awkward social interactions can be on FaceBook as well. For example, I sometimes like some friend’s photo/status thinking it would be too sad for him/her if nobody did, because it is damn FaceBook, and if that person couldn’t take attention on FaceBook, that would be only tragic … It is meaningless to me, but it matters to them, so why not like their status/stupid photos…

    I can’t share anything on FaceBook. Not even interesting stuff… I thought of sharing an article in this website. Here is the thought process that changed my mind;

    “OK, this article is so cool, people should read it! But it had been such a long time since I shared anything. After sharing this, the next thing I share should be as good as this. Will I ever find something as good as this? And what if I found something better, sharing all the cool stuff regularly will make them ordinary, because, obviously people usually don’t check everything on FaceBook. Then, some of these good stuff would be wasted. And what if someone liked what I shared and shared it with his/her circle? I hate that. That’s something I found in the internet you c…! We both know you are not the type of person who would come across such a cool thing in the internet. Look at all the shit you share on your page! Don’t use my brain to look cool to your friends. And what if more people like his/her share then mine? That would be so unfair!!! I can’t let that happen!”

  • S

    The author just might have missed the point of social media. I’m not sure what kind of posts they think should be out there, but maybe it would be easier for them to just delete their Facebook account.

  • Pingback: 7 способов стать невыносимым в соцсетях | Kleinburd News()

  • Pingback: What is the real legacy of Facebook? | ogilvydo.com()

  • Chris A J

    This quote from Downton Abbey (s4e5) reminded me of this blog entry: “Some people run on greed, lust, even love,” the Dowager says of Isobel. “She runs on indignation.” Which isn’t to say that this blog runs on indignation, but this particular entry is leaning that way. It’s still funny though.

  • Pingback: dessanti's blog » Perilaku generasi Y-MILLENNIALS()

  • Pingback: Are you gen Y? | Concord Young Professionals()

  • Nicole

    This author just sounds like a hater to me. I mean it’s one thing for people to attempt to bait others into sympathy or into asking questions because they want attention on FB, that I don’t care for because it’s pure negativity.

    However, the example status used at the beginning does not fall into that category. Why can’t you like it and be happy for your friend who clearly has had a great year? I know I would and Id also be proud of said friend.

    Seems like the author has simply revealed their own insecurities by making fun of someone who is content and happy with their life and level of success. If the author was content and happy as well then they’d have no reason to criticize.

  • Pingback: Best of the interwebs, February 23 2014 | Scout It Out()

  • Pingback: WHY are people so annoying on social media? - ReferralCandy()

  • anonymous

    what the author is talking about is only true if the facebook friends are not really friends because true friends accept whatever their friends post

  • Renakaz

    LOVE THIS! It’s exactly why I quit Facebook.

  • Pingback: 7 способов стать невыносимым в соцсетях - 99 Рулит!()

  • laura richardson


    I did not read any of the above posts because I wanted to respond
    without the filter of all the “haters and lovers.”

    I just want you to know that you are spot on with your descriptions of FB
    posters. I just “deactivated” my FB account a few days ago b/c I am so tired
    of the narcissistic, attention craving idiots that are trolling for attention
    and self acceptance. What a load of crap. I have to say that I miss seeing the
    trivial posts of my cousins and 2nd cousins and relatives I didn’t know that
    I had, but in the long run, I am protected from the evil (not really evil, but you
    know what I mean), sad, pretentious, self-seeking, look-at-me, providers of
    bullshit and anemic self serving crap that it’s worth it. I can go to sleep knowing
    that I didn’t check my “status” or who “liked” me – what a load of horse shit.


  • Pingback: Favorite Finds | adorned with love()

  • Катерина

    в принципе все верно…мы в своей компании kkl-group.ru стараемся поддерживать хороший корпоративный дух и хорошее настроение.но мы понимаем, что переусердствовать -тоже не хорошо

  • Pingback: Nasterea unui artist | Krossfire's Blog()

  • Pingback: Awesome Social Media Campaigns in 7¾ Steps... with cartoons! - Xanthos Digital Marketing()

  • ?

    Thanks! Great blog. I completely agree.

  • ?

    FB is a means to communicate, but I am not particularly interested in people talking about a rash they developed.

  • Pingback: - Connectivity Room | Connectivity Room()

  • James

    Fantastic post.

  • Pingback: 7 способов стать невыносимым в соцсетях и в коллективе. | Психолог-психотерапевт Ирина Рой()

  • Pingback: infinity&beyond - The Final Countdown()

  • Pingback: Snapchat: The Fun and the Fleeting | AMY PITTMAN()

  • Pingback: Over Sharing on Facebook | Social Media@ NYUPraha()

  • Pingback: The Law Of Attraction Applies To Facebook. | Science, Bitch!()

  • Pingback: Cheerleading | crazy always wins()

  • Sheryl

    Usted debe usar las cantidades recibidas por la beca para pagar lo que se consideran gastos calificados de educaci.

    Estos gastos deben ser requerimientos para todos los estudiantes en el curso.
    En teoría, el plea bargaining se puede peticionar
    en cualquier momento después de la detención.

  • Pingback: Volume 3.10 (March 3-9, 2014) | The Nightstand @ Weightier Matters of the Law()

  • Pingback: Perché gli yuppie della generazione Y sono infelici, di Wait but why | Telemachia()

  • Got it all right

    If you don’t agree with this article then you are either

    a) too young


    b) old enough, but lacking the maturity/wordly and cultural experiences in life

    The world is a better place without 99% of what Facebook is, which is what the above article details. Facebook is good for creating events. And whether you want to ignore it or not, the truth is that 99% of posts fall into the categories detailed in this article. I’ve read a couple comments about someone posting about getting their PhD and how that’s perfectly fine and that he was doing it to tell close friends and family I think? Well tell me this, how would close friends and family not already know this?? You’re Mom or Dad or best pal is going to find out on Facebook that you just finished with your PhD??? Give me a break, nice attempt at an excuse, but complete miss. Again I’ll say, this is truly accurate artircle and the world would be better off without Facebook (with a few exceptions as I mentioned, like setting up events or posting pictures for your smartphone picture sending/receiving technologically challenged parents,).

    • Yo

      I totally agree with you. I was surprised to see so many people writting bitter replies to this so very well detailed decription of most fb posts.

  • Pingback: Fighting Through – An Experiment in Scotch()

  • bigas

    I really liked this article ! I even identify myself with some of this people !! I only posts things that make me look “good” (as beautiful, or interesting, or with a cool life, great vacations etc).
    And I think that most people does it ! It is funny to laugh about yourself and others sometimes. 😉

    And personnaly I really prefer this kind os self centered status than the depressing ones eg “I feel so lonely” or “life is hard” or “I hate my job” ahahah

    Thanks for the post ! 😉

  • Jeannine

    Hi! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this website? I’m getting fed up of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform. I would be fantastic if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

  • Pingback: Waarom wij Gen-Y soms ongelukkig zijn | Superheld()

  • Pingback: Please Don’t Envy Me: The Facebook Status Everyone Should Read | Almost Awesome()

  • Pingback: Directed Writing Research Paper: Snapchat | AMY E. PITTMAN()

  • Xodz

    There’s no such thing as “jealousy inducing”

    you should not attempt to change the way other think, but to share happiness with a friend – the way they view it you will NEVER control.

  • Sara

    Absolutely great! Congrats and thanks for voicing my personal opinion so well! Love you (in a manner of speaking, of course), whoever you are!

  • Pingback: What is the real legacy of Facebook? | ogilvydo.com()

  • Aubrey

    This means a total commitment to continuous improvement and
    innovation. The system consists of an arrangement of mirrors
    which concentrate their reflection of solar energy on
    a tank holding a heating medium. Roughly 42
    percent of the net irrigated area in FY 1990 was from surface water sources.

  • Ed

    This is a gorgeous article that I return to again and again. If it helps even a handful of people bite their tongues when they are about to say something self-serving and annoying, it has done its job. The same goes for people writing ‘reviews’ online that are only concerned with whether the object has fulfilled some trite and irrelevant ‘need’ of theirs, rather than achieving the purpose the object was designed for. That could be a sequel to this article. If we could all STOP being so damned concerned with ourselves, maybe we could find something WORTHWHILE to focus on (there is plenty in the world to go around).

  • Pingback: Why I Love Your “Annoying” Facebook Status | sarahgwong()

  • Brandie

    bienvenidos al mejor portal de juegos friv ahora les presentamos el mayor portal de juegos
    para niños y adultos estamos subiendo juegos a diarios con mayor descripcion imagenes primeramente que empiezes
    a jugarlo y veas lo conmovedor que pueden ser y no perder el tiempo esperando
    que se cargue.

    Visita tambi

  • Felicitations

    Amazing. This hits so many nails on their heads that it could’ve built a house. If someone is unable to see the humour or reality in this post, then I’m afraid they are probably lacking a lot of awareness and are, thus, also probably the ones insufferably putting ‘region A’ updates on FB on a daily basis.

    Freaking brilliant, you guys. Marry me?

  • Felicitations

    For serious about the marriage proposal….

  • Pingback: A Facebook Detox: A journey into the Wilderness of Real Life.()

  • Pingback: Tim O’Brien: Week 4 | The Tab Cambridge()

  • carolinemellor2014

    Ha. Love it.

    Another great post that I wish I’d written myself. (OH the ironic pull of wanting to share it… on facebook).

    You just got yourself another subscriber.

  • Pingback: Tweet At Me: Are You Annoying Your Facebook Friends? | Proforma BlogProforma Blog()

  • Pingback: Image Crafting in Corporate America: As annoying as on Facebook and harder to ignore | Career Revolution()

  • Jenn

    I need to read this every day.

  • Ulla

    “this person needs to learn how to filter and be happy for his fellow human beings.”

    Yes, that’s what I thought when I read her (I’m pretty sure it’s a woman) definition of bragging. What a petty, envious person, I thought.

    Then I saw that the author’s idea was that you had 800 FB friends. I think I’ve had only one who had that many (over 1000, actually), and she was definitely a narcissist who never commented on other people’s posts but posted ten status updates a day herself. 500+ contacts aren’t friends, they are an audience, and if that’s how you and your contacts use FB, perhaps the author has a couple of valid points. Then s/he’ll will have to stay away from me who have 53 contacts, most of them real-life friends now living far away, since we are interested in each other’s daily life and thoughts.
    A general, self-righteous, and judgmental article like this has no value, in my opinion. Except to the author.

    • BeagleFan

      I was just thinking and about to write the exact same thing. I actually care about the people who are my FB friends–all 42 of them. Give or take one or two. LOL.

    • hjbhk

      Ulla I think you’re in the minority of FB users. Most folk have networks of hundreds to thousands of people. I hail from rural Australia and my whole high school is comprised of people with 400 to 1000 friends on their account.

  • Annahneemoose

    Apparently, I have an attention-seeking FB friend of a less common type. In addition to semi-covert insults aimed at nearly everyone, she goes on and on about her numerous imaginary medical issues, complete with changing her cover photo to shots of her sitting on a doctor’s office cot, getting blood drawn, etc. She even shares old pics of herself taken during trivial health woes from back in childhood.

  • Archie

    Hiya! Quick question that’s entirely off topic. Do you know how to
    make your site mobile friendly? My website
    looks weird when browsing from my iphone 4. I’m trying to
    find a template or plugin that might be able to correct this issue.
    If you have any suggestions, please share. Thank you!

  • Tim

    Thanks to Free Soundcloud Downloader, I now have more
    time to discover more new artists, bands. [6] The API is besides intermingled in medicine
    finders, including Sound – You – Need. So much users
    are disposed more hosting infinite and May parcel out their tracks or recordings to More groups and
    users, make sets of recordings, and More thoroughly dog the statistics for for each one of their tracks.

  • Patski

    WBW, you complete me.

  • Person

    Yeah, I hardly post on facebook for all the reasons above. I do find my myself commenting on people’s post if it is interesting and I find myself with something to say. I suppose the 3 posts I dislike the most would be Cryptic Cliffhanger, The Inexplicably-Public Private Message and the The Step Toward Enlightenment (unless it actually brings about some conversation or is an interesting phrase to think about later). More often than not these posts annoy me, I mean as a Christian, I can only take so many flaky posts from the bible or quotes from other religions that are just there to be in people’s face. I mean if people put so time into writing how this quote has meaning to them as a person or perhaps added some context to the quote and why they put it on their page then at least I would be gaining some insight. But I suffer from this quote problem myself, so I’m quite forgiving of that one!

  • Anon

    Haha… A lot of aggression here. Just proves the author’s point i guess..

  • Hannelore

    I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I am not sure
    whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about
    my trouble. You’re wonderful! Thanks!

  • Pingback: Why you shouldn’t care what people post on Facebook | What Rhymes With Sarah?()

  • Pingback: 3 Ways to Be An Insufferable Fitness Snob | Bret Contreras()

  • Cathy

    Absolutely hysterical. And I’m guilty of practically all of them. Bravo!

  • Imogen

    There are various types of psychic reading services available on internet these
    days. Do this repeatedly for few more websites so that you have enough material to
    compare and evaluate. Psychics are simply using their “mind power”
    and to tap into an intrinsic, psychic talent, one that that many of us could develop if given the proper training.

    • kate


      Hello I am Kate from USA ,I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex lover back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when i meet a friend that introduce me to Dr OGOJI the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Dr OGOJI about how my ex lover left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My ex lover called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my ex lover called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Dr OGOJI at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on:ogojidogospirituallovespell@gmail.com and get your problems solve.

  • deforge

    what an idiotic article. does a status have to serve Every reader?
    how about the fact that the status cited served at least 3 specifically identified, and unmentioned number of other people (family) who would be reading it, in the form of gratitude and appreciation. subjectively, it can serve others too, by showing the type of self-satisfaction can be experienced by keeping active and engaged in things with other established people. the author just sounds bitter, with a tendency to get hung up on things of no actual relevance to them.

  • Mellie

    You sound like a dick. A jealous, bossy dick.

    By the way, your forgot Rule 8: telling people what they can and cannot post on their own page.

    You’re welcome.

  • Sharyn

    An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this
    onto a friend who had been conducting a little research on this.

    And he in fact bought me dinner due to the fact that I
    discovered it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this….

    Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending
    some time to discuss this issue here on your internet site.

    my web blog :: shiatsu

  • Pingback: 전세계의 최신 영어뉴스 듣기 - 보이스뉴스 잉글리쉬()

  • a non e moose

    wow, bitter much?

  • Klaudia

    Thank you for the post.I like your writing style and I’m trying to start a blog myself, I think I may read thru all your posts for
    some ideas! Many thanks once more.

    Here is my blog post: vigrx plus For sale

  • Sunny

    Terrific post however I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this topic?
    I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit more.

  • Pingback: Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy | xioucha()

  • Jimp

    This “article” is guilty of the very same thing that it accuses Facebook posters of doing. It’s just one big narcissist, ego-stroking exercise.

    It’s basically saying that the Author is so clever that he/she can see through the motives of Facebook posters that the rest of us can’t. And, in an act of pure generosity and altruism, the author feels the need to impart these pearls of wisdom to us idiots (who are clearly too stupid to figure it out for ourselves).

    Widespread terms such as “vague-booking” have been around for years, so people are clearly already wise to annoying behavior on Facebook. They know it when they see it, but they probably just roll their eyes and then get on with their lives. They don’t feel the need to write an article on it in order to dispense their sagacious wisdom to the great unwashed, in order to allow them to bathe in the adoring glow of the article’s readers.

    While there are undoubtedly annoying posts on Facebook, many of the examples cited in this article were just laughable.

    Getting annoyed by someone posting something as innocuous as: “had a great day”, or “heading out on a fun night with friends”, strikes me as nothing but mean-spirited bitterness on the part of the article author, rather than any heinous transgression by the Facebook poster who made a status update of that kind.

    According to this article, in order to reach the lofty heights of what the author deems acceptable conduct, you should never post anything positive or exciting happening in your life (because that is just to make people jealous). Likewise you should not post anything negative or sad in your life (because that’s just attention seeking). OK, so how about posting totally neutral status updates then? Nope, can’t do that either (because that’s too “literal”).

    So what the f**k exactly are you meant to post?

    • Caitie

      Thank you!!!!

    • hjbhk

      By your first paragraph you indict yourself. As by the same logic I can claim your rather long post to be a narcissistic, ego-stroking exercise.

      I suspect you’re a humblebragger?

  • Pingback: I Had One More | That's So Jacob()

  • Juliet

    These “annoying” posts are what Facebook is all about.
    If they stopped, FB would cease to exist. We can’t have that, can we?

  • Mal

    Just a peeve because it detracted from my otherwise great enjoyment of this piece: your third ‘humblebrag’ about a woman getting catcalled and honked at. Could you put in a disclaimer that, actually, there are a lot of women out there to whom that’s not a compliment or a brag, that’s men being sexist. And when I, personally, get catcalled by a complete stranger on the street? I don’t feel flattered, I feel cheap. Please check out the Everyday Sexism Project (http://everydaysexism.com/) if you feel like I’m overreacting. Probably I am–but I still feel like I should bring it up.

    In other news, this blog is one of the best things in my life, and I’m ashamed that it took the urge to complain about something for me to knuckle down and leave a comment. But seriously, I love your stuff. I quote the procrastination one to everyone I know.

  • Marissa

    Wow..so profound this article is truthfully funny. Some people really overdue it with the FB statuses but major accomplishments eg earning a degree, getting married or sharing a positive message is worth sharing. My solution to some the annoying persons on fb just unfollow or unfriend them lol.

  • Pingback: Nevoia de a fi acceptati (nevoie mare cat un mamut). | costin jelea()

  • Dave

    Thank You!!!! I think I’ve never laughed as hard as when reading this. plus it was so true…I think this column changed my life…

  • Dominik

    I like it when folks come together and share views.
    Great website, stick with it!

  • ssbluridge

    I don’t understand why you would HAVE people on your friends list receiving your feed that wouldn’t be interested in the minutiae of your life. I delete people I don’t care about. I actually AM interested in announcements of grades, vacations, gratitude, jobs started or ended, what they cooked (cause I am often looking for ideas), opinions and emotions of the people I have on my list. That is why they are there!! If I were not interested in their personal successes and failures, or on announcements of where they are going, what they are doing, and with who, they wouldn’t be on my feed. If he doesn’t care about this guy; if his summary of his year isn’t INteresting to him, why the hell is he receiving status updates from him?

  • Shiva

    I am completely 100% in agreement with the author. those who are most guilty of the sins I suspect are the most angry on the comments column. One person with the right opinions still outclasses the mob with the wrong one.

  • Ganesh

    Superb.. I am 6… Posting this on FB 🙂

  • Pingback: 0146 – a utilitarian approach to social media | visakan veerasamy.()

  • Anonymous

    Nice blog post, enjoyed reading the comments even more because damn it seems many people’s sarcasm meters need to be serviced asap. wwwWWWWOOOoooSSssshhh

    This is a witty description of – well – people. Facebook doesn’t magically make people act different than uuhhmmm.. people..

    Still don’t get it? I quote “most people I know, myself certainly included, are guilty of at least some of this nonsense here and there” ..

  • Pingback: Weekly Passport: Dealing with Envy, Creative Genius, and GO TO SLEEP, CHILD! | Everyday Ambassador()

  • Someone who really cares

    Why the fuck do you still have a Facebook?

  • The Fili Dawg

    You’re all retards. This article is 100% on the spot. Finally some article captures clearly the stupidity of 95% of status updates and photo posts with hashtags. No, it doesnt mean that if you dont post status updates or if you criticize them you have no life, the contrary, you’re much more likely to have a good life coz you have zero need to share it with unnecessary people or brag. Please make another article about hashtags. I hate hashtags. And you reading this, if you use hashtags, you’re an epic loser too.

    PS: you’re all knts

    • Freeform Fighter

      Who are you to call me a knt?! i bet you spend all day masturbating to pictures of girl friends on fb….not only that but you took the time to comment on a lame article on a lame website…so i can only imagine what sort of stuff you write on fb. and surely you’re a guy. typical male bullsht. if there was a god i know god would be a woman. enjoy your day sir.

  • Laurie Larks

    A funny and insightful piece. My only sorrow is I can’t share it on facebook, because some of my friends/acquaintances would never speak to me again. That’s the problem; it’s like you say, nobody’s perfect, and if people we like brag, preen and spout their excruciating opinions at us – weirdly it doesn’t stop you liking them. But damn fb for giving people enough rope.

  • Domanar

    Yes I know, its a little bit late. But I loved how this article rattled the cage of their mammoth SO HARD they had to call you names to feel better about themselves. Bravo!

  • Pingback: 7 Maneiras de Ser Insuportável no Facebook | FALANDO CAS PAREDE()

  • Melissa


  • WTH?

    Well, sorry but i actually LOVE hearing ANYONE’S “success” on FB, their upset thoughts, their strong opinions, what they’re doing at the moment, etc. Esp. when you have little time and you just want to connect with people throughout the day to say “hi.” Bragging? Well, bring it on! I’m happy for them and I just love hearing what EVERYONE has to say. I do “love” all my friends on FB based on things they post and the “likes”, I feel the love. Maybe it’s b/c I’m older. But I think people in this world today are in need of things like FB; social media is today’s way of communicating; so of course once people are used to that then they’re going to be talking about their lives in these sorts of ways. FB is something for people to make their lives “look good,” so what? That’s a human need we all have. Understanding this, it is fine by me what people post, so long as I don’t see things that are truly offensive (e.g., racist, sexist, etc.) or attacking others. So all that crap you wrote about, well bring it on everyone I am thrilled to read your stuff.

    How about that? And I’m responding on the side of the READER not the poster. Oh and I don’t know which of your number(s) I fall into, I’m sure I do…If this wasn’t meant to be a humorous article then sir you sound pretty sad.

    • Caitie

      I am in total agreement with you! It’s just human connection.. what a sad life to live when someone has 800 ‘friends’ and is criticizing 95% of them because they are PROUD of their accomplishments, or in love with someone!

      • Marc

        It’s not criticizing- it’s trying to emphasize the point that humans in 2015 have dangerous levels of need for public approval and that to me is a sad society.

        “what a sad life to live when someone has 800 ‘friends’ and is criticizing 95% of them because they are PROUD of their accomplishments, or in love with someone!” What a sad life we live when so many people think 800 friends want to know about how we do on a test, or the vacation our boyfriends just booked for us. That is sad. There’s so much to care about in life that can have meaningful impacts to better society- to improve environmental degradation, to decrease human suffering- yet you guys proudly state you care about narcissistic facebook statuses. You both are sad.

    • Danny

      Ugh WTH if all that truly interests you, then you are the sad one. You are a character straight out of The Circle by Dave Eggers.

  • bee jee

    So, what this article does is make most people reading it feel bad about themselves. Those who can laugh at themselves, find it funny. Those who can’t laugh at themselves, find it offensive.

  • Jaqueline

    Search engines Images can also be worth talking about as an reputable mention

  • Faith

    Wow, this article really hit a nerve with a lot of people! Could it be they don’t like being called on their own narcisstic behavior. Honestly, everything he wrote about are things that have been bugging me for a long time and caused me to block certain individuals from my news feed. He just said it better than I ever could. Got really tired of one person who was always pasting little signs like “God thinks Mothers are special” in her posts along with “Just put the kids to bed and now I’m relaxing watching my favorite TV show.” Really??????

    • Moorkan Ettadi

      I too think people are really pissed off about this article. Author has really told the truth.

  • Krattz

    Number seven is so frequent and annoying to me that I have actually had to stop reading people’s posts, I now use it purely for free messaging. I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds this a pain in the arse.

  • Pingback: Episode 001 (part 1): Social media expert Rob Grams | Being funny on Twitter | Google knows you’re pregnant | Mortal Kombat is unrealistic | JoshuaSaxon.com()

  • Pingback: Smatterings: September 2014 Vol. I | Mac & Cheese Productions()

  • FanoftheAV

    How about the idea that FB might be a place to express one’s Authentic Voice, which (when the Mammoth is tamed) often includes celebrating all facets of the life THEY (the poster) love without regard to whether someone elst thinks its narcisstic or image building or lonely. To the extent it is annoying to 95% of their “friends” that is more likely the “friend”‘s problem, not the poster’s. How about the idea that if you find somebody’s brag or mundane post upsetting, that might be more a reflection on YOU than it is of the other person’s narcissism or image building. I am more a fan of your Taming the Mammoth post than this one. I don’t give a hoot what my FB community thinks about my posts. They always have the option of unfriending me or filtering out my posts, and I am sure many of them do. Perfectly ok with either optioin and it isn’t going to change one thing about what I share. If they react violently, uncivilally or inappropriately to my posts, I block THEM. It is MY perogative to post what I want and EVERYONE’s perogative to get rid of those connections who just don’t jive with how we think FB should be used. Seems pretty grandiose to attempt to impress upon the entire community what should be defined as annoying or acceptable.

    • rago

      I don’t get the part about not caring how people respond to you. When you go to a social gathering do you care if you look like shit, maybe smell unclean, and certain kinds of humor may offend people. Would that all be their problem? We’re social creatures – I want to express myself but also be aware and caring about how it effects other people.

    • Moorkan Ettadi

      Hey what is the point in posting such things? If someone had a nice day, well and good. But why come on fb and say to ALL their friends about that. Why thank such and such a person, for an awesome day they gave, PUBLICLY. Do they do that in real life too? Like they got a job. Would they go to each and every one of their acquintances and say that they got a job? No. They just do it on fb. They do so only to show off. That, I feel, is a bad trait.

  • Roy Egas

    What annoys me is the so-called show business stars who have FB pages and never ever do they reply to comments by the lowly masses. Never a “thank-you” or “So glad your enjoying the show”. They are so full of their own importance never realising that it’s the masses that have put them on the high pedestal that they enjoy.
    British celebrities who receive honours like OBE and CBE and knighthoods just for being actors or for lending their name to some cause. Multi millionaires who are so up themselves and think that they are just SO good and look on their fans as lowly unwashed poor scum.
    Not all celebrities are like this some are very nice people who are prepared to reply to comments or emails. Unfortunately they’re in a minority.

  • Brill

    Fantastic, very funny 🙂

  • Macken

    Or: Just don’t post ANYTHING on Facebook, because someone will think you’re image crafting, seeking attention, or being annoying.

    • hjbhk

      Do you really feel these kinds of status’s are the most enjoyable interesting parts of our lives and the universe? How boring you must be.

    • Matt

      I’m a geologist and was in the field the other day. I saw a HUGE field of rocky mountain bee plants with huge blossoms. I took a picture and said, “Huge field of flowers I saw in the field today.”

      Explain to me how that fits any of of the points in the article. You don’t HAVE to be SO self involved on facebook. If you think, “Hey, I bet some people would find this interesting”, then post it.

      Facebook usually seems like everybody is trying to self-promote themselves to the point of getting on a reality show or something. I have a morbid facination with watching the trainwreck happen, so I tend not to unfriend people.

  • HB

    I love seeing my friends’ updates about things going well in their lives, even little things. It brightens my day. Maybe the key is to keep Facebook lists to a small number of close friends you actually care about?

    • Kathryn Hildebrandt

      Yes, that works – or maybe if you are the kind to care about new friends you make, you can broaden the circle.

  • Pingback: Sine Die … Or Not | Rodney's Saga()

  • Pingback: Social Imaginaries: Why Generation Y Are Unhappy | Jason Clark()

  • Richard

    Well, this post hardly needs another comment, but since it inspired my own blog post, I guess I better add to the babble.


  • Pingback: The Growing Narcissism of Selfies | The Communication Activist()

  • phil

    all of what you said may be true about human nature…about people in general..the fact is.. people are facinating…and those on my friends list are there because of this reason…i enjoy them…even the annoying one’s..i have my very own window into human nature..I’m going to keep them.

  • Prateek

    Loved this post!! Exactly why i stopped updating my own status msg years ago. It just doesnt make sense… And TIM, you’ve nailed this article in the head… awesome post and categorization..:)

  • xyz

    The only people who would get annoyed at this article are those who fit the bill. Plain and simple.

  • ?

    If people are given a place where they can express their life happenings as if they are the centre of the universe, it will happen.

  • april

    OK sooooo…after reading this, I’m wondering just WHAT you think Facebook is for if you think EVERY SINGLE thing that people do is wrongwrongwrong…..if you hate things people do/say on FB…..its simple, GET THE HELL OFF IT.

    • Kathryn Hildebrandt

      Seriously, LOL

    • hjbhk

      Aw, thanks for defending us you little facebook warrior you. Not everything is wrong, these things are.
      These things do not comprise everything. The world is very interesting place, we should share it around. But these things are not the interesting things in the universe.

  • Nikki

    Didi I Miss the “SELFIE” every two hours catagory????

  • Rassilon

    FB wouldn’t be so annoying if people kept up emailing each other. They post these round-robin statuses instead of engaging one-to-one in private. With many people it feels like you have to now chat in public through that ruddy site in order to get a reply out of them.

  • Pingback: This is your brain on FOMO - Jason ChatfieldThe Curio()

  • Pingback: Y Generation – Perché i giovani d’oggi sono infelici (e come fare per smettere) | Xavier Bellanca()

  • Pingback: All I Owe | Pretty Thing()

  • Pingback: How To Win At My Vegas Slots On Facebook | Best Online Slots Sites()

  • ddihbdb2dih

    Half the posts above don’t really seem all that bad, to be honest. I have approximately 800+ friends on facebook, and having lived in three separate countries have accumulated many acquaintances I haven’t spoken to in years. I do occasionally get the “I love my boyfriend/girlfriend he/she is the best” or the “dinner with my bffs” posts on my newsfeed and while these updates on my acquaintances don’t ‘entertain’ me in the slightest, I honestly don’t bother or care about them because I know there are several people who do give at least part of a fuck about this news. And if someone gets accepted into college or gets their dream job, why wouldn’t I be happy for them? Even if it isn’t someone I’m particularly invested in? Vague posts are the only ones deserving of the ‘narcissism/drama/attention-seeking’ tag in my opinion and I am well aware it remains only an opinion. The others just look like happy people who have worked extremely hard for their accomplishments and deserve their moment in the spotlight. You can always choose to unfriend/hide posts for someone if the details of their life bother you soooooo much yknow.

    • Moorkan Ettadi

      Hey, such posts pisses me off. People who post it may feel happy. But when I read it I feel angry as well as jealous. They make it look like all they have is fun, fun and more fun. And all I have is just random boring days. I don’t believe that they never have sad days or boring days. They’re just trying to look super awesome. I would say they’re fake people.

  • Kate

    I just hide the people that constantly either post government crap out these type of posts all the time because after the tenth I hate my life posts it gets depressing

  • Daniella Brown

    i just want to say a big thank you to Dr.OGUN for what he has done for me,he brought back the man i loved and cherish with all my heart, A man who left me for another woman for good 3 years,with 2 kids,i just decided to check some spell caster’s but all kept deceiving me,until i met Dr OGUN,who told me everything will be over .until he told me that my husband will be back in 2 days time,am so greatful today that my husband is back to me and we are happy and he always wanna be by my side,i will advice you people not to fall in the wrong hands but to contact Dr.OGUN who is trustworthy and straight forword,you can contact him via email lovespelltemplee@gmail.com
    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.
    (10)if you want to stop your divorce.
    (11)if you want to divorce your husband.
    (12)if you want your wishes to be granted.
    (13) Pregnancy spell to conceive baby
    (14)Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage
    (15)Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart.
    once again the email address is lovespelltemplee@gmail.com contact him immediately

  • Pingback: Dating And Waiting Facebook | Cuties Live()

  • sacocheio

    I got your point, but I’d like to remember that Facebook is a social network, not a blog nor a science magazine. My humble contribution: you can use WISELY any of the situation above, in VERY FEW TIMES. Trust me, it will work exactly as you intend it will.
    Now go for the next frontier… I’d love your thoughts about Whatsapp groups!

    • VeryImportantComment

      Hey!! For years I used that same photo for my Skype status!

  • Pingback: On FOMO | Anne à l'Aventure()

  • Emil Bouchard

    I will love to share my testimony to all the people in this site because i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me four weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls, She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single…when i went to her to her place of work she never want to see me..I was confuse as a result of this because i cant get myself anymore, my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life…I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i came across a spiritual man when i was browsing online.. I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back…he told me he gonna help me… he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of hours… My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she’s doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven’t seen anything yet… My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to this site for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com hope he helped u out too..good luck

  • Doug

    I avoid Facebook because i find that it has become an avenue for people to share news that…
    1. …isn’t theirs:
    “Did you hear about Amy’s husband? ”
    2. …shouldn’t be shared publicly
    “I can’t stand my sister!”
    3. …isn’t news
    “Look at what i just pullef out of the microwave!”

    I kinda think you live in me-centered world if you think people need/want to see a pic of the meal the waitress brought you, that you are taking off of work early, or that you’re headed out for a long trip (btw: thieves love the latter post/invitation).

    I guess what really bothers me is that social networks are hurting real relationships. The quantity of time and quality of words (or lack thereof) is mind-boggling.

    Please, stop posting on FB that you are having a playday at the park with your child… your not! He’s sitting in the swing begging you to push him while you are on a bench 20 feet away staring at a phone hoping to get a dozen “likes” and a possible mother-of-the-year nomination.

    And stop using FB to slam people! Seriously, the “I’m so mad at my _______ (mom/husband/brother/boss/friend/daughter)” post. Be a grown up and go talk TO them instead of talking ABOUT them. Marriage in trouble? Maybe you should put down the phone and talk to your spouse instead of posting it!

    So much more to say but I’ll stop lest I become that which I loathe. Please folks, we have children to swing, spouses to love and friends to make. We don’t need a post, a like, or a tweet. Look up and be all there.

  • davisha

    i want to use this medium to testify of how i got back my ex boyfriend. After 8 years in relationship with my husband with 3 kids, he suddenly started going out with other ladies and coming home late, most at times drunk and each time i confront him about this it turns out to be fight, he even threatened to divorce me severally, I was emotionally devastated because i was not sure of what to do to make him love me again, I tried all i could to make him love me again but all proved abortive until i saw a post on the internet on how a spell caster Dr. Zaki helps people restore back their broken relationship/marriage at first i doubted this but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this spell caster via email he helped me cast a re-union spell and within 5hours my husband came to me apologizing and today we are happily together again. Contact this great spell caster on your marriage and relationship problems at dr.zakispellhome@gmail.com

  • Pingback: Episode 27 - The Biggest Problem in the Universe()

  • Emil Bouchard

    I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single…when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life…I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job…he told me he gonna help me…i don’t believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he’s busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday…My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she’s doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven’t seen anything yet… he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com I cant give out his number cos he told me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he’ will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck:agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com.ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com

  • Gina

    I mostly agree with this but the author missed off passive aggression as a key reason for inane posts.

  • Pingback: How To Play Real Soccer 2013 Offline Messages Archive | Soccer Training Pro()

  • Ashton

    I think this author is expecting too much out of Facebook. Also I can’t agree with the 1 .

    If something great happens that makes my friends happy, it makes me happy too. I want to hear what good things my friends have been through. That opeing post? I would have been happy for my friend to have had such a great year.

    The fact that you call it attempts for people to make others jealous makes you seem a little shallow, honestly.

    • Kathryn Hildebrandt

      YES! This ^^

    • hjbhk

      You’re right. You are SO empathetic. I also enjoy seeing the smile of a lowly butterfly flap its pristine wings for the first time as the sun sets on my lovely little country cottage, which gives me such profound peace.

      • TOxicHigh J


  • Hannah

    Re the third example in 1b: Street harassment is not a compliment and therefore not a humblebrag. It’s a social problem that is objectifying and makes people feel uncomfortable in public spaces. Complaining about street harassment is one of the few ways that we have to deal with the discomfort that comes from experiencing it.

    • Tim

      I don’t have much sympathy for women who consider merely being looked at in a sexual way “harassment”, frankly. It’s a First World Problem for attractive women. I have about as much sympathy as I do for celebrities dealing with paparazzi: the drawbacks of being attractive/famous are legitimate, but they are small in comparison to the huge benefits.

      Essentially my empathy is limited by my own envy. But if you can’t see how that FB post comes across as bragging to the large numbers of people — men and women — who spend their lives starved of sexual attention, then your empathy is also pretty selective.

      • Street harassment has nothing to do with “attractiveness” or “merely being looked at in a sexual way”. It’s not a first world problem: it’s threatening ugly behavior in many cases, and comes with an implied threat, and it happens in just about every country. There is NO benefit to street harassment; none. Your last line makes it sound like women should WANT this form of “attention” — and yet, the numbers of women who have actually SAID that they want that are relatively few, so that should tell you something important. I’ve not once been flattered by street harassment, and I also don’t think I’m necessarily a hottie — and I’ve experienced it throughout my lifetime. You clearly do not get the nature of this problem at all. (In fact, I’ve been harassed by guys telling me I’m “ugly” before, too — it’s not always compliments. And when you don’t respond, you’re called a bitch, you’re threatened, you’re followed…this is a form of violence.)

        I find your blog posts overall to be fairly empathetic, but on this point you are way, way missing the mark and coming off as extremely privileged. Street harassment is an assertion of ownership of public space, plain and simple. It is not meant to make women feel “sexy” or “attractive”; it is meant to remind them of their “place”.

        • Tim

          First off, I’m actually a different Tim from the who writes these posts.

          I would never dismiss a person being told they are ugly as not being harassment. That’s not an argument I’m making, so let’s drop that — we’re on the same side there. Insulting a person like that is disgusting, bullying behaviour. And, like any normal human being, I quite naturally think that a woman has been wronged if she is threatened or called a bitch when she doesn’t respond to a compliment from a stranger.

          I’m talking about the woman “complaining” about being “whistled at twice, honked at twice, and one car almost caused an accident slowing down to stare at me”. As you correctly state, it’s my privilege, as a white guy who probably rates about 4 of out 10 on the looks scale, not to have to suffer through such… agonies.

          Please note that I am *not* saying that women “should” want this kind of attention from all men. A person is entitled to feel however they want about anything; the important question is to what extent their feelings should determine the acceptable behaviour of other people, and my stance on the specific question here is that a woman feeling creeped out by a sexual look or a cat-call from a man is not sufficient grounds for prohibiting those behaviours. For reference, this applies equally to straight men being hit on by gay or bisexual men: they might feel creeped out by it, but assuming it doesn’t escalate to a threat, they should just deal with it, in my opinion.

          ‘Street harassment has nothing to do with “attractiveness”‘ — That’s a bold claim. Women are, on average, considered by society to be at their most attractive somewhere between the ages of 16 and 30. Although I don’t have stats, I feel confident that this is the same age bracket in which they receive the most “positive” sexual attention on the street. Would you agree? If so, is this merely coincidence?

          “it happens in just about every country” — Not remotely true. It varies a lot from country to country and region to region. When model Nicola Simpson attempted to reproduce Shoshana Roberts’s 10-hour New York city walk in Auckland, New Zealand, not a single man tried to hit on her: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/05/new-zealand-catcalling-video-new-york-street-harassment_n_6108028.html

          I have more to say, particularly about the motivations of street “harassers”, but perhaps that’s enough for the time being.

          • You feel “confident”? Based on what? I’m 48, not particularly hot, and still get harassed. I’ve been harassed wearing sloppy clothes with no makeup running errands. The majority of my friends share my experiences, at a wide range of ages and levels of attractiveness. Your ideas are hardly scientific here. Why not actually try to find stats instead of mansplaining to me why you think I’m wrong based on…what again? And then you ask me if I agree? No, I don’t — it’s a ridiculous statement with zero evidence backing it up.

            See, this is really why you don’t get it: you think that all women should feel the same way based on what YOU would feel. But your context is different: you don’t live, for example, in a context where you’re constantly reminded why you should never go out alone at night because you might be raped. You don’t live in a context where that “compliment” has turned mean and hateful for lack of response, so you come to expect that from every other “compliment”. Your assumptions are based on your lived experience, which is vastly different from this woman you think is “complaining” by mentioning the harassment. If you want to defend cat-calling because somehow it’s a man’s right to interrupt the day of a total stranger, fine, but don’t act like it’s somehow a gift, because I know almost no women who feel this way about it. Why do you insist on telling us how we should feel? Is it because you feel your rights as a man to say whatever you want to someone should trump their right to go about their day in peace and quiet?

            Look at it another way: let’s just say your mythical 16 – 30 year old attractive woman is walking about her day, and ten guys cat-call her on her walk to work. (This isn’t crazy, mind you. This is normal in many places.) Why should she have to “deal with” that? Would you want your thoughts constantly interrupted, your space constantly intruded upon? Now say this happens every day…how long is it supposed to feel like a “compliment”?

            Cherry-pick all the examples you want: my lived experience trumps your guesses, sorry. Women weren’t put on this earth for your entertainment, and we deserve to go about our day unbothered just like a man would. Sorry if you “envy” what we go through; I guarantee after one day of walking in our shoes you wouldn’t.

            • Tim

              You seem to be responding to what some man or men said to you in the past, not to what I said. To recap: I explicitly said ‘Please note that I am *not* saying that women “should” want this kind of
              attention from all men. A person is entitled to feel however they want
              about anything’. So, please understand if I don’t find your question ‘Why do you insist on telling us how we should feel?’ very compelling.

            • No, I’m responding specifically to what you’re saying here: “my stance on the specific question here is that a woman feeling creeped out by a sexual look or a cat-call from a man is not sufficient grounds for prohibiting those behaviours. For reference, this applies equally to straight men being hit on by gay or bisexual men: they might feel creeped out by it, but assuming it doesn’t escalate to a threat, they should just deal with it, in my opinion.”

              You want to compare apples and oranges. You, as a man, have no need to feel threatened in our cultural context by a gay man hitting on you. A woman, almost any woman, does have the context that she is taught to be afraid of this behavior by past assholes. So your entire supposition of (and I’m paraphrasing here) “it’s not that bad” is informed by an incorrect assumption about whether or not it’s “that bad” for the people on the receiving end of the behavior.

              A more correct comparison would be racial slurs. We, as a society, grew to feel these were unacceptable forms of speech that would not be tolerated by the majority of people. How on earth is this any different? You seem to want to have it both ways here.

            • Tim

              Yes, I’m saying “it’s not that bad”. The “it” refers to sexual looks and cat-calls, not to crimes that might (whether in reality or in your imagination) begin with those things. That’s quite different from telling you what you or anyone should subjectively feel about it, which was what you were claiming I was doing.

              A reality-based assessment of the threat posed by being hit on by a male stranger surely depends mostly on the ratio of the physical strengths of the two people, not on their genders. So even though men are much less frequently hit on by other men, a woman who is 60% as strong as the man who is hitting on her is facing about the same threat level as a man who is 60% as strong as the man who is hitting on him.

              One problem with the racial slurs analogy is that it doesn’t capture the double bind at the root of much interaction between the sexes. Specifically it doesn’t contain anything to mirror the fact that in today’s society, a large fraction of women continue to want and expect men to behave as the aggressors — but only certain men, in certain ways, in certain situations, with all three of those requirements varying a lot across women. TTBOMK, no one alive wants to hear a racial slur directed at them, under any circumstances. OTOH, whether a woman responds positively to “Hey, baby!” from a stranger on the street might depend a lot on whether said stranger is me or Johnny Depp. Some women would still be upset even if it was Johnny Depp. Some women would be upset if it was me, and I said “Hey, baby!”, but not if I said something more interesting, or if I happened to be her “type”. And some women complain just as bitterly about the “creeps” who “harass” them by respectfully introducing themselves in bars — that is, in the places people go specifically for the purpose of meeting new people.

            • You act as if context doesn’t exist.

              First of all, my response to a man on the street catcalling me has ZERO to do with what he looks like. And I seriously call into doubt your assumption that a “large fraction of women” want this — regardless of what the men look like. In fact, I saw an interaction just two days ago that was telling — a woman walking towards me was catcalled, turned and smiled at the man, turned forward again and rolled her eyes. So: what you see as a member of the dominant culture is completely different than what other members of the oppressed culture see — know that starting out. (And that is true of not only gender, but race, etc.) In fact, your assumption that women will respond differently to a good looking man is wholly informed by what the dominant culture expects of women, but I think you would be hard pressed to find ANY data backing up your supposition.

              Secondly, for you to say “it isn’t that bad” is the same thing as telling someone that racism “isn’t that bad” — these are not YOUR EXPERIENCES. Which is why I am saying you are telling women what to feel when you say it “isn’t that bad”. IT ISN’T FOR YOU TO SAY WHAT IS OR IS NOT BAD FOR ANOTHER PERSON. To think you know if it is or isn’t is the utmost arrogance.

              So here’s the thing about context: women aren’t mind readers. They don’t know if the man cat-calling them is sincere, is a rapist, is doing it to every woman that walks by — we don’t know. What we DO know is that we live in a culture where violence against women is the norm, and what we DO know is that we’ve all had negative interactions with cat-callers. So: who are you to say I should not think of the danger in that catcall? Who are you to tell me that it’s my “imagination” and that the guy’s intentions are just fine? I AM NOT A MINDREADER SO I DON’T KNOW INTENTIONS. All ANY of us have is context. And the context for catcalling exists in a culture where 1 in 4 women has experienced a rape or an attempted rape.

              So: you think it “isn’t that bad”? Well, that’s just your privilege speaking. Because of course it isn’t that bad for YOU. But you don’t get to say what “isn’t that bad” for anyone else. Just like I don’t get to run around telling people of other races that it “isn’t that bad” because we have a black president. I am not the one who gets to say. (And I’m ignoring your silly theory about strength levels, because it’s a red herring that doesn’t take into account culture or much of anything else.)

            • JustOneProletarian

              I just want to say for anyone dumb enough to be swayed by your ignorant bias, the “1 in 4” rape statistic has been debunked many, many times by very smart people, male and female.

              You obviously have a lot of negative feelings towards men, it really shows and you should educate yourself on just how privileged you are, and tell feminist studies not the mainstream bullshit that’s popular lately among bored housewives and spoiled daughter’s. What’s next, thought police to arrest any man that has a thought about you that you don’t like?

              And i can’t even believe you actually said you think one would be hard pressed to find ANY WOMEN ANYWHERE that liked being “cat called,” because i know just from anecdotal evidence that it has worked got me and for friends on several occasions.

              Get off your high horse lady.

            • Aww, it’s “worked for you” so therefore, that’s “evidence”? Evidence of what percentage of the population — have you done the math? Or is your extremely limited anecdotal bias the entirety of what you know of this issue?

              And yes, I “obviously have a lot of negative feelings towards men” — clearly, you can tell that about me because of your deep, scientific study of these matters. What a brilliant mind-reader you are! You obviously know women so well that all of us who don’t want to be harassed are just a bunch of man-hating meanies. Boo-fucking-who on us for ruining your fun by saying that we DON’T LIKE IT. Poor baby.

              Just so you know, Mr. Statistician: the majority of my friends are male, actually, and the majority of them agree with me on this issue. So please — save your random asshole sample for someone else who might be swayed, because we all have friends who can back up our beliefs. However, it doesn’t change a damned thing — what makes you think your rights to catcall supersede someone else’s right to be left alone? Do I have the right to walk down the street screaming “hey asshole” at you, just because I feel like it?

              I’ll stay on my high horse and look down on morons like you, thanks. Because history will be on my side for this one — fucking EVOLVE and stop dragging those knuckles down the street, because I can guarantee for every lady that responds positively to you there are more who are annoyed. If you can’t discuss the issue without attacking someone first, then it’s obvious that it’s YOU that has the problem with the opposite gender, not me. And one look at your posting history easily backs up my theory.

            • Tim

              As you have done since your first post on this thread, you continue to call for scientific evidence while supplying none of your own — except for anecdotes based on yourself and your friends, which you criticise anyone else for using.

              “Do I have the right to walk down the street screaming “hey asshole” at you, just because I feel like it?” — As with your attempt at using racial epithets as an analogy, there are no circumstances under which a person would be receptive to being called an asshole by a stranger, so the analogy doesn’t hold. In contrast, strangers flirt with each other all the time; while it’s sometimes not welcome, it often is. Deciding where the boundary lines are *must* be a collective decision, with consideration given to everyone — including that much-feared subcategory of humans known as “men”.

              On one thing we do agree: It will certainly be interesting to see whether future historians record that, alongside the genuine and tragic mistreatment of women still occurring in places around the world, some women thought that strangers looking at them in a way that could be perceived as sexual was a serious problem worthy of society’s attention. My guess is that they won’t bother, but who knows — predicting the future is hard.

              I had more to say, but nothing seems to be going in, so I’m going to stop now.

            • I’m not calling for scientific evidence, I’m being sarcastic.

              The problem is: you think that street harassment equals flirtation. And I’m telling you it does not. Out of the hundreds and hundreds of times I have been personally harassed, I can count on one hand the times that it seemed anything like “flirtation”. When it has, I’ve responded accordingly. I don’t have a problem with flirtation. I understand the difference between the two things. You, apparently, do not. I don’t understand how something like “let me suck that fat pussy” or “I want to fuck all your holes” said to a stranger can be misconstrued as “flirtation”, for even the most clueless guys. I don’t understand how “gimme some of dat ass” is supposed to be flattering, nor does grunting in my direction seem like the opening line of someone who hopes to get to know me. I’m not really sure why ignoring someone’s “flirtation” would ever result in being called an “ugly fucking bitch”, after all. I mean seriously — we are CLEARLY talking about completely different kinds of interaction. Why can’t you understand that? What I am talking about has FAR more to do with intimidation than it does “flirtation”, and the fact that you still want to couch it as such shows just how extremely out of touch with women’s reality you are. In a world where those kinds of comments are the NORM, and the so-called “flirtatious” comments can be followed immediately by the “ugly bitch” sorts in two seconds, why are you surprised when many women don’t want ANY advances? It’s too much effort to sort out what kind of interaction it will be, in a split second — imagine navigating that a couple dozen times a day. Wouldn’t you get sick of it? You sort of seem to think that your fellow dudes are far more chivalrous then they are. Don’t blame me when I don’t want your advances — blame them, they’ve primed the pump.

              The difference between you and I is that this is my lived experience, whereas for you, it’s guessing. And it’s guessing based on your own experience (after all, despite the fact that we’re arguing on the internet, you don’t seem a bad sort to me, you just don’t seem to understand what I’m talking about — and I get that, because it is SO FAR from the kinds of guys you probably know and hang out with! you have NO IDEA.) You’re in a bubble, and you think that the rules that work within your bubble are the same as outside of it, and I’m here to tell you it’s not. I don’t get to be in a bubble when I walk down the street — I’m exposed to all kinds of guys, not just the nice guys who hang out in the bubble. (And I want to add the caveat here that I am neither particularly attractive nor particularly special — I take a lot of public transportation and I travel a fair amount, which might be the only distinguishing factor here.)

              This sentence alone nails the differences between our point of view: “It will certainly be interesting to see whether future historians record that, alongside the genuine and tragic mistreatment of women still occurring in places around the world, some women thought that strangers looking at them in a way that could be perceived as sexual was a serious problem worthy of society’s attention.” — you still think this is about women being “looked at as sexual”. Women KNOW they are looked at as “sexual” — all day long, by multiple people. How could we not? THAT ISN’T WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HERE AT ALL. I have been humped, grabbed, groped, and fondled by strange men dozens of times in my life. I have had men follow me, block my path, and attempt to restrain me. And many, many of those interactions began with someone being so-called “flirtatious”. So please understand me when I say that yes, this IS “tragic mistreatment of women”. This is not the oppression olympics, where I don’t get to talk about my actual LIVED EXPERIENCE because a woman somewhere else is wearing a burqa. It all exists within the same context: a world where many men still believe they have a right to tell women what to do, a world where many men still believe they are superior, a world where many men still believe they are ENTITLED.

              (I shouldn’t even have to add this, but because I know the world I’m in and the responses things like this get, I will: please note I said MANY men. I don’t hate men, I don’t fear men, and I don’t avoid them — the majority of my close friends are men. OK?)

            • Tim

              Well, here I am again, because apparently I’m a glutton for punishment.

              On the one hand, I appreciate your attempt to de-escalate things. On the other hand, you once again start arguing past me: “I mean seriously — we are CLEARLY talking about completely different kinds of interaction. Why can’t you understand that?” And then later: “THAT ISN’T WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HERE AT ALL”

              IT IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. READ MY FIRST COMMENT IN THIS THREAD. I’m talking about whether *looking* at women in a sexual way is harassment. I’m talking about whether being “whistled at twice, honked at twice, and one car almost caused an accident slowing down to stare at me” is harassment. Use Ctrl-F if you don’t believe me. NOWHERE do I claim that “I want to fuck all your holes” or its ilk is acceptable. I don’t think it’s acceptable. Will you now PLEASE stop putting words in my mouth for you to rail against?

            • YOU’RE the glutton for punishment?

              Jesus, follow along dude — I am talking about CONTEXT. Every one of those comments followed a man “looking at” or “whistling at” me. Do you understand? Now: when a supposed “nice guy” looks at or whistles at me, how the hell am I, or any woman, supposed to know what’s coming next? It could just be someone being so-called “appreciative”, or it could be an asshole with words like that oozing out of his pie-hole. We have all been conditioned by our environment, including you — we just operate in different environments.

              If you don’t think it’s “acceptable”, then please understand that there is literally no way for any of us to know which type you are, ok? CONTEXT. That’s what I’ve been talking about the ENTIRE TIME. I’ve mentioned it every post, and you apparently live in such a bubble that I needed to spell it out, and you STILL didn’t get it. Or you don’t WANT to get it, because you want to continue doing something that for you is just fun. Not only that, but you also don’t get to separate out the context for others, so, sadly, it IS what you are talking about — you just don’t realize it.

              You want to think this is all about YOU. You’re special, you’re different, you would never say those things. You even want to think that it’s about attractiveness, and have this fantasy that a woman responds differently to a hot guy. It isn’t about any of those things. It’s about the context we move through the world within. If every time you leave the house a pigeon shits on your head, you’re going to start avoiding pigeons, just saying, no matter how pretty the pigeon or how sweet it’s song. All you’re gonna think about is getting shit on, with each pigeon, because each one has that capability.

            • Conventionally Attractive

              Sweet Jesus.

              I know I’m a few months late to this party but I read through the entire exchange between the two of you and I have to weigh in because Tim, I have known far too many men like you and your attitudes need a serious talking to.

              Tim, you are a self confessed “4 out of 10”. I’m going to take a stab that not many women have openly hit on you throughout your lifetime. I would wager my life savings on betting that you DREAM of women throwing themselves at you on the street. You would love nothing more than a hoard of women to bark out at you “hey sexy!” and it absolutely perplexes you that women do not respond to men barking out these things because if the tables were reversed, you’d be beyond grateful.
              Whether you realise it or not, you blame a lot of your problems on your being a “4 out of 10” and I’m going to hazard a guess that you’re probably single, or you have at some point spent a great deal of time single. You are probably lonely, frustrated and want nothing more that to be loved by one of the attractive women you see on the street every day. You see attractive women with men all the time and think things must come really easy for them – that they must be able to find what you desperately craved/have craved with such ease and you are very, very envious. Tim, you are probably a very nice man, you seem very intelligent and well spoken from your posts. Attractive women aged 16 – 30 do not have it as easy as you think in your dreams because there is more to life than being considered conventionally attractive by certain members of the population. There is far more to a relationship than finding the other person physically attractive. LISTEN to to lynnxe. She’s 48 years old…you are probably in your early 20’s. If this is the case, she has something you lack, life experience; and she is also a woman. She has LIVED the experience of street harassment being discussed here. You have not. You are projecting your desired experience onto a woman twice your age and it’s not appropriate here.

              Here is another suggestion, Tim.
              This one is from myself, a conventionally attractive woman aged 16 – 30.
              Get to know me as a person. Don’t look at me as a potential vagina, because whether you realise it or not, you do. You look at a woman like me and think I’m “out of your league”. You see me flirting with an “asshole” and assume “women only like assholes”. I flirt with men who get to know me. We can spot the “nice guys” a mile away who are looking at us as potential vaginas and have so much hurt radiating off them, its off-putting. You might not realise it, but we’ve also been rejected. We’ve also been hurt deeply. We don’t just get our pick of any man because most of us (not all, granted), but most of us want a life partner that can be our best friend, not just a penis that rates at a certain level on the looks scale.

              And for the record, I know no woman – none – not ONE – that has ever dated a man who catcalled them randomly on the street. Ever.

              lynnxe – Keep fighting the good fight there!

            • Wild1

              Holy crap, you people are pretentious. The dude is obviously waayy more logically-minded than anyone else in this thread. Please stop making baseless assumptions about others’ relationship status. Assuming that someone is sex-starved is just as bad as assuming that someone likes being harassed.

              I agree that any type of sexual harassment is a serious problem. However, there are ways to fix the problems that don’t involve being derogatory.

            • Jimmy Cooper

              “If every time you leave the house a pigeon shits on your head, you’re going to start avoiding pigeons, just saying, no matter how pretty the pigeon or how sweet it’s song. All you’re gonna think about is getting shit on, with each pigeon, because each one has that capability.”

              That got me thinking. Tks.

    • hjbhk

      If you can’t see the obvious ‘I am so attractive six people told me so on my walk through the park.’ message in that post, you’re an idiot.

  • Smashley

    In one article the author tells us to just be ourselves and not care what people think of us and now in this one saying ‘don’t be that guy on Facebook or you’ll annoy everyone!’ So am I caring or not caring about what people think?

    • Nate

      You have to tread a fine line of caring only a little bit about what people think while acting like you don’t care at all.

    • hjbhk

      Whoa. Trying not to let others influence you negatively is not the same as being an unintrospective, unempathetic wanker on facebook.

  • Greg Williams

    Oh my lordy Therapist Oniha of the winexbackspell@gmail.com I GOT Briggs BACK. Im so excited, It only took 2days for him to come home. bless divinity and bless god. i must be dreaming as i never thoughts he would be back to me after all this time. I am so much shock and just cant believe my eyes. thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart,he always kiss and hug me now at all times,am so happy my heart is back to me with your help Therapist Oniha.

  • Pingback: Christmas Letter Cover-Up | Focus Pocus()

  • Julie Mattie

    my name is JULIE MATTIE. When i read a testimony online on how dr.drust the great and most powerful spell caster online of great ultimate temple, i was wondering how can this be true, Because many has failed me in the past without any result from them. I just let the post pass by and move on the forum. To my notice under again, Some person posted and said tested and trusted spell caster. After reading through the mail it was this same dr.trust she was talking about. So i have no other option than to really check up how he works.I was totally devastated when my beloved lover left me. It was like my entire world vanishing into sorrow and pain. I know it sounds weird but out of all the spell casters I contacted, he was the only one to give me that impression of being so true and trustful. More than his words,He brought my lover back and he made all my wishes come true. He is now loyal, pays attention to me, he offers me flowers every Sunday, and we often go out at the cinema and the restaurant. I will be forever thankful for turning my life from hell to heaven! i believe who need help should get to him for help. May God continue to use you to save broken relationship. (ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com tel:+2348156885231) to get the problem solve, Because there is no spell caster online like him…

  • Julie Mattie

    my name is JULIE MATTIE. When i read a testimony online on how dr.drust the great and most powerful spell caster online of great ultimate temple, i was wondering how can this be true, Because many has failed me in the past without any result from them. I just let the post pass by and move on the forum. To my notice under again, Some person posted and said tested and trusted spell caster. After reading through the mail it was this same dr.trust she was talking about. So i have no other option than to really check up how he works.I was totally devastated when my beloved lover left me. It was like my entire world vanishing into sorrow and pain. I know it sounds weird but out of all the spell casters I contacted, he was the only one to give me that impression of being so true and trustful. More than his words,He brought my lover back and he made all my wishes come true. He is now loyal, pays attention to me, he offers me flowers every Sunday, and we often go out at the cinema and the restaurant. I will be forever thankful for turning my life from hell to heaven! i believe who need help should get to him for help. May God continue to use you to save broken relationship. (ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com tel:+2348156885231) to get the problem solve, Because there is no spell caster online like him.,.

  • Litha

    Oh, for an eye-rolling button on Facebook!! Mine would be worn out by now! Partly due to the constant selfie queens who just have to take their photograph every five bloody minutes and post it, but mostly due to the interminable updates from a certain someone who pretty much covers every single one of the above catergories with grave regularity, sometimes even in one post…but oh no, FB is just not enough of a web presence for them, there’s the blog too, and other sundry outlets, all dedicated to their unsatiable appetite of emotional neediness that cannot be fulfilled, not unlike some all-devouring supermassive black hole. It reminds me of that great joke from Frasier, something along the lines of Niles writing a psychiatric paper about a narcissistic soprano, and calling it ”Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi”…just riffing on the same tune all the time.

    • anon

      To be fair sometimes there’s a genuine reason for something that we’ve not thought of. For example, I thought recently that someone was posting selfies a bit too much and kept rolling my eyes at selfie after selfie popping up.

      I kept quiet though, and ended up glad that I did as she then explained (and was very upset) when someone else commented to complain, that she does this because of some very serious self-image issues and social phobia (has trouble just leaving the house etc) and actually can’t stand her own photo. She was trying to tackle her fears and insecurities literally face-on, and little by little said it was working (though no doubt the comment set her back a bit). Certainly it’s not always narcissism, or necessary to assume the worst about someone’s intentions.

      • hjbhk

        She should reach out to people in her life, even her parents or anyone. Face book has nothing for her. Though other cyberspace might.

  • Pingback: 7 способов стать невыносимым в соцсетях | YUDJES GROUP()

  • tony

    Sorry author but you’re missing the whole point of Facebook and social media. It is truly all about image crafting, narcissism, attention craving, jealousy inducing and feeling less lonely. If we followed all these guidelines, then we wouldn’t be posting anything. If you’re irritated by these things, you shouldn’t be on Facebook.

    • CloudaneUK

      I think it’s quite a natural thing. I was just pondering this list and thinking “hmm, I don’t really want people to think of me as annoying, maybe I should take notice of some of this”. But.. isn’t that in itself ‘image crafting’? So by thinking about it and changing your behaviour, it can still be about image crafting, so.. I don’t really know if there’s much point. All in all it’s worth thinking about and trying to make things benefit the reader more, but not worth worrying about IMO.

  • baarg

    Author is spot on. Why else would people react so badly to the article? If you post things on Facebook like what’s above, take a good look within and ask yourself, truly, why are you doing it. If you have some introspection, you’ll realize why, if you didn’t I’ll tell you: you want positive reinforcement, and you are looking in the wrong place.

    • Moorkan Ettadi

      Wow, man. I completely agree with you. Author is spot on.
      I see a lot of pissed off people in these hate comments

      • Matt

        Hehehehe. It’s the best part.

  • Anonymous

    I recommend the love spell of robinsonbuckler@yahoo.com to anyone in need of help. Use his services, call him +1(971-512-6745) and you will have your lover back.

  • LEONARD Kirsten

    Hello to you all here, i am Kirsten Wilson. and i here to share to you all my testimony about this man called Dr ABULU , last year i got married to my husband Wilson Jefferson and we both have a body so we were both living happily together ever since we got married until early this year when my husband traveled to Australia for business trip and he told me and kid that he will be coming in two months time and he left , it was just 2 weeks when my husband stopped calling me and the kid so i was surprise and i started to wonder what is wrong until i heard that he is with a lady there and he was even planing to marry her and push me and my child out so i reported to his family but they could not stop him this time he has send me message to live the house before he return so i was so confused and do not know what to do so a friend of my mummy directed me to this man DR ABULU of abuluspiritualtemple@gmail.com, for help and solution and i quickly rush to contact him through his mail and he told me what to do and i did it and after two days mu husband called me and started begging me to forgive and forget all that he must have done to be that he was not his self so that is how i manage to save my relationship so with this great work done for me by DR ABULU i promised to share this to the world in-case any one is there with similar problems should contact him as well for solution and i know you must be saved okay

  • Pingback: Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy | BooksAvenue()

  • Comment that got too long

    I really like this blog but this post is just so weird. People shouldn’t post inspiring quotes because that’s unoriginal and boring. They should instead inspire people by their own achievements, but the e-mail (having a year filled with amazing experiences) and the first example (reaching a big milestone) are both cringe worthy because they are bragging?
    So, for people to not be annoying they should only post funny, interesting and original material to facebook, without mentioning popular opinions (ex Barack Obama), social issues (ex Egypt, street harrassment- which gets categorized as bragging btw?) or their personal lives (talking about promotions, their loved ones, hanging out with friends etc). What’s left?
    Not to mention how much this whole post contradicts the whole mammoth thing, about how you should just be yourself and not care about what others might think and how judgy people only feed their own insecurities and how what they might say about you has more to do with their own problems than yours.

    Side note: this post only makes sense if you’re friends with a bunch of strangers. If your friends list only consists of people you might actually talk to if you got to meet them more often, it’s more likely that you are more interested in what they are posting (and vice versa). And if you aren’t, you can simply unfollow or unfriend them.

    • hjbhk

      Can you hear the sound of this article’s point flying right over your head? From my perspective, and I’m sure many others’ perspectives, it’s deafening, like a Boeing jet in Taipei.

      You’ve thrown out so many fallacies I’ll try to sum them up by addressing the core. The core message of this article is that most of the people on your facebook friends list, unless it is like 30 people long, don’t give a shit about your day to day existence. Which isn’t to say they mean you harm or unwell, but it is to say that there is no time for all the irrelevant thoughts and emotions you will experience during the day.

      The people who are willing to care about your day, your random thoughts and emotions etc, are your family, friends, and loved ones. They can spend this time on you because they enjoy your company and maybe love you, and to an extent you reciprocate this time, effort, and enjoyment.

      So, given that most people don’t want to read about your fucking bagel, perhaps it would be thoughtful of you not to tell them about it. Do you tell someone you used to know in primary school about your last gym session in the normal course of things? If you are going to send a message out to potentially hundreds of people, it should have something in it you think a significant proportion of that group will either enjoy seeing, or should see.

      Anything else is BY DEFINITION, selfish and unhelpful. Use your close friends and family for unloading all your minutia and grievances, and don’t look to trick people about the nature of your life by image crafting.

      Have a shred of introspection and notice your own emotions as you read the vapid crap that falls over your facebook feed.

  • Pingback: What do the 25-years-old people cry about? | Upgraders.Org()

  • trixie1223

    There is nothing more annoying on FB than to see an aging man tout a “new album”. I am not talking about legit rock stars. I’m talking about the fat middle aged men who were in local original bands, who think they are actually in the same caliber of those stars that made it. There’s a guy I know that has a new “album” out. He puts up his own songs day after day. They suck. He sucks. And he’s ugly.

  • Jannert

    For me, the most annoying thing is when a single person posts 20-30 cartoons, political statements or cat pics per day. Totally clogs up the news feed. There should be etiquette about how often you post something, no matter what it is.

    • Been there

      I have someone that does that on my feed. I just wonder how he finds the time to click all that BS. He also clicks everyone elses’ posts and shares….why? Because of him I don’t post any pictures of my family or pets, I don’t want my stuff out there.

  • Pingback: facebook linter - Search Yours()

  • Pingback: facebook search history wrong - Search Yours()

  • Pingback: NObook: Why I Quit Facebook | Immer Mittwoch()

  • Pingback: facebook messenger kidnap your whole family - Search Yours()

  • anitadash

    “On my walk home from work, I was whistled at twice, honked at twice, and one car almost caused an accident slowing down to stare at me. Sometimes I really hate men. ” that’s not “undercover bragging”, that’s speaking up about STREET HARASSMENT. no, women, don’t like it, and we don’t have to pretend we do. we were taught to stay silent, smile, or be afraid. we’re finally speaking up about this and you call it “undercover braggin”? give me a break.

    • tt

      Found the feminist.

      • anitadash

        oh wow, you’re smart. I thought I was undercover, so men would like me… oh wait, I don’t care. 😉

        • Tom

          Guys, really?
          Remember that time you walked to the shops hungover, looking like shit?
          There have probably been plenty of similar moments in your life, you weren’t expecting anyone to pay too much attention to you right?
          Because if you did think everyone was staring at you then you’d be guilty of narcissism right? Or perhaps just the ‘spotlight fallacy’.
          But imagine if people WERE staring at you all the time, because they felt like they had a right to your body and a right to express and opinion about it and how you look at any time.
          I’d like you guys to try and imagine that for a moment, being stared at everywhere you go, being judged constantly, and not just being stared at but shouted at all the time.

          What about when you want to be left alone, what if people felt like they had a right to just walk up and bother you any time they felt like it?
          What if all of a sudden reading a book or paper in the cafe wasn’t enough and people bothered you anyway.
          What if the tenth complete stranger to leer at you and lock eyes and say “hey” or “hey baby…” that day gets offended that you don’t respond?
          Really offended, loud insults at your back, you’re stuck up, you think you’re too good to talk to anyone, you’re a snob, you’re a bitch.
          Is it so wrong that you want to be left alone once in a while?

          The reality is worse of course, maybe you’ll get assaulted, you certainly will if you go to a bar of club, I mean I know that you guys can probably think of a time you got your arse grabbed by a hen party and you’ll say “and I didn’t run home crying.”
          But what if it was almost a certainty every time you went out?
          What if guys felt like they had a right to grab you and fondle you every time you go to the bar?
          As if your body is literally on sale for anyone to mess around with, and that’s all you are, a body.

          And another thing, why do people never respond so predictably and vehemently when the discussion is about lgbt rights or race equality?
          The majority of people an agree that these are positive things but the second someone mentions feminism, equal rights for half of the entire population of earth, everyone freaks out?
          What is it about women speaking out that bothers you guys so much?
          Why does it piss you off so much?
          You can’t possibly find it threatening can you?
          Because feminism works for you as well, men suffer from gender stereotyping in a patriarchal society just as much, hence higher suicide rates among young men, and more war dead.
          And if you’re thinking “but why can’t we all just be humanists then? Why do we need feminism?”
          Go and find a way to stop rape being used as a weapon in armed conflicts around the world, then come and tell me we don’t need feminism.

          • nyxx

            Shutup you worthless cunt, fuck

          • E F Scott

            Without the narcissistic component, twitter and selfies would not even exist. Narcissism is a dominant social trend and facebook reflects that. Unfortunate, I agree.

          • ohpleaseDOschoolme

            Female calls bullshit.
            Why does somebody calling bullshit piss you off so much?
            The reality:
            There are women who can handle themselves, and women who cannot.
            The picture you paint of the way men treat women is patently false.
            If I’m going to a club and don’t want anyone handling me… I’m:
            a) skipping the club and
            b) not dressing like hootchie mama.
            You act as though the girls who put on hair extensions, fake nails, booster bras and see-through garments are twerking on the dance floor for the sake of finding a male with whom they can intellectually bond.
            The women who generally complain are the ones who spend an hour in front of the mirror before they go to the store for dish soap.
            So just CAN the feminist “patriarchal” diatribe. It works for approximately 1.2 percent of the population: the percent that need a PC protected bandwagon.

            Smart, confident, and truly independent women just laugh off cat calls and don’t place themselves in situations whereupon less scrupulous individuals might do them harm. In short, they don’t give two shits what other people are doing, much less what others think of them.

            There is nothing more obnoxious than a man who claims to support feminists. Okay.. feminists themselves… but the men who try to attach themselves to the “cause” fail to see that their Knight-in-Shining-Armor-Through-Submissiveness support is really nothing more than nauseating.

            So again… I call bullshit.

    • Aaron Poche

      Oh good, people like you exist. That’s helpful to nobody.

      • anitadash

        except to all the women who get harassed on a daily basis 🙂

    • JustOneProletarian

      Lmao is this a troll post because i refuse to believe women like you actually exist.

      Out of everything here you, by far and away, take the narcissism cake.

      • anitadash

        so many male tears we’ve almost got a new ocean. what should we name it? male entitlement? lack of empathy? privileged pride?

    • Gregg Rodriguez

      And speaking out against something on Facebook does what exatly? Your little Facebook activism accomplishes absolutely nothing besides remind everyone that you’re attractive enough to have men notice and call out to you in public.

      No, no, you’re absolutely right! You’re little Facebook rant about how you’ve just been cat called is exactly what needed to be said to end female harassment on the street and move us one step clossr to world peace. Thank god you made that post.

    • Brian Leslie

      As a demisexual transfemale, I’d love to receive some of the mild attention to which the example in question refers. The politics of communication and performance in public spaces are more complex than how you portray them.

  • flynnious

    Unless you absolutely know exactly what you’re doing, you shouldn’t look at the sun through a telescope. Same goes for posting on Facebook.

  • Pingback: Weekend Reading 1/16/15 | Sightline Daily()

  • keryn

    That’s why I unFacebook. I see absolutely no value in participating or reinforcing its existence.

  • mishqueen

    I get the satire, sure. I even laughed.
    But when critical articles (or people) try to shame narcissistic people out of their behavior, the only thing that happens is a lot of nice people feel like dog poop. People who are really true attention-seekers aren’t going to be phased by their missteps being pointed out to them. Those who were truly expressing love and joy and interest in a subject didn’t realize that “so many people hate that” and will second-guess all their sharings from that point on.
    Granted, I don’t post much on fb at all, and none of it is personal. That said, I’ve watched friends be completely *crushed* by someone’s critical posting such as “how dumb are people to believe this forward that is going around” or “how blase to like the same ridiculous fad, only an idiot would follow the crowd” or “no one cares about your stupid little lives”.
    Just because it’s true doesn’t mean it’s our job to make sure everyone knows that we were smart enough not to make the same mistakes. It shoves someone else down as we elevate our knowledge publicly at the cost of someone else. There are other ways to share information. It’s a form of pride and narcissism, actually. Funny, that. That’s another kind of fb post that I find to be completely insufferable.

  • Pingback: Siamo su Facebook. Cosa mi racconti oggi? | tarantula()

  • jaime_arg

    I have a “friend” who does most of these.
    Most recently she did 4) The Inexplicably-Public Private Message: she wrote an emotional (and public) message to her sister about the death of a friend of her sister. Worst part is, she has always told us that her sister is an idiot and that she wishes she were dead.

  • Makomva Naome

    Am so grateful to Dr EHOHO for what he has done for me,At first i was thing he was a scam and also thinking if i was doing the right,But when i decided to contact him i told him my problem he laughed and told me that everything will be okay within 48hours,So i decided to give it a try in which i contacted him he told me that i should remove all taught from my mind and be happy,Really on the second day i just got a cal from someone.The person was weeping then i decided to ask who was i speaking to then he called his name Richard i was shocked i asked him what happened he said he is really sorry for what he has done to me for the past 3years for leaving me alone.That i should please forgive him that he will make it up with me.So then i said let him come over which he did as he was coming he got me a new car and also said i should have access to his account top prove to me that he will never leave me for anything now we are bought together and we are going to celebrate this Xmas in any country of my choice,Which we are preparing for.Now we are together and he cant do without me friends am so happy to Dr EHOHO for bringing back happiness to my life.i swear with my life Dr EHOHO his a man to trust you can contact him on his private mail drehohospiritualtemple@gmail.com . drehohospiritualtemple@gmail.com ,,, from USA

  • Pingback: Social media desperately needs an antidote for bragging - The Washington Post()

  • Pingback: The slap bracelet of the 21st century: Now with a hug feature - The Washington Post()

  • This guy I know

    Hold up a second. I get that for a vast majority of people, the things that go on your facebook profile are uninspiring, narcissistic and irrelevant, and 90% of your friends don’t want to see 90% of your posts. But often, we’re friends online with people we’re, well, friends with. And for a complete stranger, I don’t need to hear extensive bragging, or the minutes of your Thursday evening navel-gazing, but the point of social media is to let people look at your life. If I wanted entertainment, I’d turn on the TV. If I wanted to be informed, I’ll read a book. I’m on Facebook because I want to know the things that are happening in the lives of people I know, and people I otherwise wouldn’t have much opportunity to meet with, and I don’t think I’m an anomaly. If the people on your friends list don’t care about the things on your profile, then the friends list is where the problem’s at.

    • Huttj509

      Yeah, for me 90% of the people on facebook are people I know personally, and consider friends (I need to do a cull, I don’t know why I have my mother’s flute repair person on my list). For some of them it’s a way to keep in touch/appraised over long distances. i LIKE knowing that my cousin’s hosted beer party went well (they home brew). i LIKE knowing that my friend from growing up got his nurse certification stuff. i LIKE knowing that a college friend will be in town for the weekend, if anyone wants to do lunch. i LIKE knowing how another friend’s auditions are going.

      People who don’t properly set up lists/groups for who gets what messages? That gets annoying, sure.

  • Pingback: Dating Commenting On Facebook | Find love and fun Dating()

  • Shawn

    Finally my joy and heart desire has been granted, I will forever be grateful to you Sir Osaze, I have been into different relationships with, all want to get under**** and move on, none want to settle down or propose marriage to me, i begin to ask my self questions if there is anything wrong with me that make all this happen, no marriage no child, no proposing, I have to go online search for help to boost my relationship life and i saw a testimony about a woman who had similar issues with me and is happy with her husband and kids.

    With this information i decide to give a try to the piece of advise and testimony i saw i contact this Great man Sir Osaze, who told me all my worries are over, At first i was reluctant, but with the thought of my past and experience and how much i love my present husband Kenneth, i took the zeal to continue and he had a prayer section for me and told me i will experience great deliverance and changes in my life within 7days of prayer section.I had believe and completed the prayers with him, on the 7th day as promised and prophesied.I received a called from Michael my ex approximately 9Am, telling me that he is sorry, for all he has made me pass through and want us together again.” I laughed and ignored him, cause i was over him and forgotten long ago, I received 2 calls frm ex’s, but i didn’t take them serious i was not in love or into them anymore. i kept my hopes up that Kenneth will call me.Behold i was filled with joy when Kenneth came to my house that night accompanied with 2 of his best friends pleading that i forgive him and to prove he wants us to get married, i was engaged that Nite. Today am the happiest woman on earth, i am happily married to him and we are expecting our second child,he is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. All honour and thanks be to Sir Osaze, Contact him today for relating problems Via email: spirituallove @ hotmail . com

  • Pingback: Who are you, online? | Digital Writing NU S15()

  • Dr.Akhere

    free ads for post a comment on how i can get back my ex-lover,i want to post a comment on how i can get back my girlfriend,i want to post a comment on how i can get back my boyfriend,i want to post a comment on how i can get back my ex husband,i want to post a comment on how i can get back my ex wife,i want to post a comment on how i can stop a divorce

  • Pingback: The Secrets Of Writing Smart, Long&form Articles That Go Absolutely ViralCoaster World News | Coaster World News()

  • Mario

    You are awesome man. Keep writing. Now i want to share this on facebook 😀

  • I see these often. Maybe I’m a little different, but I often actually feel happy for people who have good things going on in their lives. It inspires me rather than annoys me — it motivates me to get the most out of life.

  • Somebody I Used to Know

    In the category of insufferable posts, this girl posts stuff like this nearly daily! And gets a handful of likes that just spur her inanity further.

    This is a little late in coming but thank you (merci mille fois) so much everyone for all of the birthday thoughtfulness. With things that happened this year, we have been so lucky to have great friends. And I left New York, had to finally becomes an adult, got to travel through Texas and Europe, worked on a political campaign and now job that I believe in enormously and got my first real 9-5 (gulp). I am very thankful for the wonderful people in my life. And I am moving into a beautiful house off of my favorite park in DC and it is finally springtime!!!

  • Satan’s Taint

    What a load of crap. Yes, we’ve all seen these types of posts, but two things:
    1. People don’t post to entertain you-you aren’t that important, so sit down and shut up. It’s their profile, they can post what they want.
    2. Don’t like it, unfollow. So easy even the writer could do it. I think.

    • Matt

      Hahahaha. Oh man. The comments are even more priceless than the post. The most annoying part of the posts the article is talking about is how you slowely begin to realize how self-absorbed your friends are. You want to unfriend because they’re SO annoying, but part of you thinks, “But wait, wasn’t I friends with this person 10 years ago? What was wrong with me?” And you leave them as a friend because you cling to what they USED to be like.

  • Slats

    What gets me pissed off are my friends who post how wonderful their relationships are, “we are so much in love”, but are in abusive, dangerous relationships and are unhappy most of the time.

  • 007

    Wouldn’t the “Step Toward Enlightenment” post fall into the un-annoying “Interesting/Informative” category?

  • passerby


  • nelly

    Soo true. ..awesome read!

  • ams boss

    This is also a very good post which I really enjoy reading. It is not everyday that I have the possibility to see something like this.

  • wbw sarcasm

    [Despite my “name”, what follows is actually not me being sarcastic.]
    Great Post. Especially the comments. I would have made popcorn and gotten more comfy for such a long post and thread, but I’ve been riveted – binge reading it all. I can’t believe how serious people on both sides of this are (mostly the butt hurts, but some of the other side are quite strident as well).

  • GordonRanger

    Facebook? what’s facebook?

    • Max Kraft

      It’s a thing everybody cares about because everybody thinks it’s awesome but in reality it’s very shitty and normal people like Tim hate it to the bone.

  • Ifeanyi C. Oshun

    Funny, but contradictory…you say to inspire people, share something incredible you did…but according to your article, that ‘s under “image crafting and narcissism” and it makes people feel badly about their own lives (waaah!) I do agree with most of what you said, but IMO if you don’t want to know what I’m doing or thinking, why are you requesting to be my “friend?” oh, let’s make that IMHO…don’t want to look narcissistic. I have an image to think of! ? *smirk*

  • Jeff Doe

    I don’t really get it. I get these things are shallow and a cry for attention but every fucking thing on facebook is that. Even *gasp* this article!
    The whole thing is just for someone to get applause just like every other fucking conversation out there.
    I get sick of this self righteous bullshit posted time and again criticizing the whole human race for wanting a pat on the back.

    Ofcourse this is why people go to facebook! Life is hard…they want a fucking atta boy once jn a while and they want it through cheap pixalated letters from a collective of people!

    And there isn’t anything wrong with that as long as you don’t spend every waking second jerking off to facebook, or forums and youtube.

    Honestly where do these sane people exist that are humble, charitable, happy, and fullfilled. I have never seen it in one young person like myself ever.

    Yet we all expect ourselves and everyone else to be the living incarnation of socrates, mother theresa, and rambo.

    People are so fucked up now and insecure I hit the like button just to give the poor bastards what they want, maybe it was good maybe it wasn’t, who cares. And yes I enjoy seeing likes to something I wrote as well.

    Heres a quote you can eat, “lifes a bitch and then you die so hit the fucking like button and stop asking why”- Anonymous (Me)

    Now…wheres the like button for this article…don’t wanna be rude

    • Mark

      Agree. Those humble, charitable, happy, fullfiled people do exist.. They probably live in the mountain somewhere without Facebook accounts.

    • “Honestly where do these sane people exist that are humble, charitable, happy, and fulfilled. I have never seen it in one young person like myself ever.”

      Maybe it depends where you’re looking for these fulfilled happy people?
      I can’t say I have my sh#t together, and I’m often unlike that description. But there’s a pattern: the more I -am- like that, the less I’m on Facebook. Someone watching me would see a fulfilled happy humble person some times, and at other the times they’d … see me on Facebook.

  • Matthew Barnard

    The ironic thing is I just shared this on facebook.

  • Sawly1971

    < col Hiiiiiii Friends..''.——–''.▬▬▬▬★★ that's a full enjoy with+ waitbutwhy+ ********* < Find More='' ……..''


  • gothika

    Butthurt people. Butthurt people everywhere.

  • Amanda Faglie

    The only one that bothers me is when people say stuff like in the Cryptic Cliffhanger”. I won’t even ask anymore. I’ll wait til someone else does or I’ll read bits and pieces later on to get the full picture.

  • keithpr

    I have a ‘friend’ who just posts everything about how great her life is, and she’s currently documenting literally ever detail and pic from her wedding and honeymoon vacation.. this was preceeded by the ramp-up to the wedding which was an insufferable amount of months and details I couldn’t care less about. Almost all if it is simply attention seeking and bragging. She lives a charmed life which makes it even more intolerable. I like FB for it’s positive aspects, but some of my friends are simply hard to digest online, whereas they really aren’t bad in person. It creates a dilemma when deciding how much I want to be friends with these types of narcissists.

  • Chiel Wieringa

    3) The Literal Status Update

    “Just did a Status Update on Facebook”

  • cielodrive

    I love how the narcissistic people who do all above obnoxious behavior, can’t accept the truthfulness of this article. Don’t rain on an attention monster’s parade.

  • Greer Elizabeth

    Fuck all y’all. I’m fascinating.

  • LindaIGarcia

    ….All time hit the waitbutwhy Find Here

  • ThomasEPalmer

    ….All time hit the waitbutwhy Find Here

  • brookcampbellsweet

    Hello to the people of this forum< Am Brooke Campbell from Texas and i can say that am the happiest person on earth since last week with what DR ABULU has done for me , it all started last year October when my fiance left me in Texas and travel to see his parents in Ohio at first him was still calling me and show love even when him was away , but it gets to a point when he no longer gives a shit about me , and i noticed it so when i tried to confront him , he told me that he dose not love me again that he feel like being alone i was shocked and heartbroken when i tried talking he will hang the phone on me i was so heart broken and i was frustrated about this , but on a second thought i was not convince that he was on his right senses so i discuss this with my elder sister who lives in California and she directed me to DR abulu of abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com saying that the man has helped her friend in such case before so i said to my self let me tried i contacted this man and explain everything to him and behold dr abulu said to me what am to do and i did exactly what he and he said after three days my fiance will call me and once he calls me i should pick the calls and he gave some other instructions . so i said okay , but to my best surprise on the 7th of November my fiancee called me and started saying on the phone am sorry it was like a dream to me , with this i said i will tell the world of his dr abulu goodness in my life , so if any one is out there and needs help in his or her relationship can also contact him today via

    email abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com
    web abuluspiritualtemple.webs.com

  • Bharat Marathe

    I’m wondering whether sharing this on Facebook comes under any of the above mentioned points…

    • David

      It’s bound to count under one of them. Every other post I’ve seen does

  • Rahul Kale

    I dont see the problem this author seems to have,facebook feed has a “hide” option,you dont _have_ to read people’s articles.only unhide/follow people who you genuinely care about or want to follow

  • MaryAGriffith

    Some New Features with waitbutwhy….. Go To Next Page

  • litnerd

    One way to be insufferable in life: Be Tim Urban. Seriously, some people are annoying on Facebook, but what makes you the all knowing Facebook moderator? And it is annoying to get catcalled. It’s sexual harassment.

  • GregoryDHull

    ………. I like with waitbutwhy….. Going Here

  • Environmental chamber

    You have a really ennobling manner of exploring and sharing your thoughts. it’s terribly uncommon these days, legion sites and blogs having copy affixed or rewritten information. But here, no doubt, information is original and extremely well structured. Keep it up.

  • danielgrant

    Fulltime devoted SEO consultant or professionals can perform as per your suggestions in order that you’ll be able to get great position on different google for particular look for phrases. http://www.stockphotofree.net/

  • Raymond Lee

    No Oooooooooohohohohohoooooohhhhhh.h. Just no to all of this. A cry for help, and this author needs counselling, certainly. But judging others for their thoughts, levying a toll on friendship and communication? Do that to your own circle to censor your own friendships, sure. But there’s *other* people out there besides you and they have different measures of friendship. If you don’t like them in your friends, then just *unfriend* them.

  • Lucisan

    10 Year Old waitbut work . <……. Find Here

  • Kamran

    Completely unique material is really what drives the net ahead, and is usually what customers want to scan! Automated SEO software allows valuable a chance to achieve this. HD Song

  • Annmcamp

    we make this wait Go Make Easy

  • Sasha Sagan

    I love everything else on WBW. This article, though, is a bit rude. I genuinely enjoy the tidbits from friends’ lives, but maybe I use FB differently. No big… But there’s one line this blog post that is *abhorrent*.

    That woman in your life, who posts: “On my walk home from work, I was whistled at twice, honked at twice, and one car almost caused an accident slowing down to stare at me. Sometimes I really hate men.” She’s not humble-bragging. She’s upset, and maybe scared, because street harassment sucks badly. Check out the Daily Show segment, “Jessica’s Feminized Atmosphere”.

    • Fen Y

      This. That line was abysmal.

  • antoinettewreeves

    Quality Of performance wwaaiit…. <…. Find Here

  • ohpleaseDOschoolme

    Remember when brevity was a valued literary attribute?

  • Snielsss

    Great post, but what is more stupid, the same old crap everybody does or us still looking at it? Just like Jersey Shore and all that crap. So are they stupid, or their viewers? The show exist cause people want to watch it. That’s what I think is missing in this post.

    It’s this need for distraction, is it entertainment? Is it escaping your own problems? Is it procrastination? Either way, it’s sure as hell popular. What on its own is kind of sad if you think about it. How much time we collectively waste on stuff that doesn’t bring out the best in us. Its like this constant reminder of shouldn’t we be doing something that matters more? Ow look at that, John went on vacation with his girlfriend. Hey, Cindy has a new car, so nice to know. Hey look at that… wait what point was I making?

  • I don’t think that image crafting, attention craving and even narcissism are per se bad motivations. I actually believe that those are the most common reasons why good entertainers do what they do. Those motivations only become a problem when they’re combined with the inability to satisfy them in a way that is also entertaining to its audience…

    Besides that, i specially liked the following two sentences of your article:
    “The one possibility I enjoy is that the message is written to be jealousy-inducing specifically for one individual who will likely be seeing it, whether it be an ex or a friend they hate. That kind of malice is so extreme it crosses over the far line and becomes awesome.”

    That reminded me of a friend of mine who made those “status updates” on facebook when we went to the opera and ate sushi. Normally, i frown upon people who post stuff like that but in that case, i found it actually amusing because it wasn’t about bragging (which would have been kind of pointless, sushi and the opera are great things but also easily available to everyone) but about pissing off his ex girlfriend who had always failed to get him to do these things… I’m, however, not sure whether i enjoyed the malice in these posts or if i just felt good about myself for being in on something. 😉

  • Sherice Cuadra

    Great Article. Thanks for the info. Does anyone know where I can find a blank “2010 DD 2945” to fill out?

  • Lefthanded Jeff

    I read this piece immediately after reading the one about our internal mammoths, and how to overcome them to embrace our Authentic Voice instead. I loved that piece. It was full of acceptance of humanness, and rejection of the shaming of others. Then I read this piece. It struck me as an odd disconnect from the other piece. It seems to have been written by the mammoth. It purports to mind-read why other people post things. It assumes the most negative motivations. And it’s all about why people shouldn’t post their feelings and experiences for fear of how others will interpret them. It’s full of shame and shaming. It seems designed to fill people full of anxiety about what they post and why, and resentment about what others’ post and why. To me, it’s just got mammoth-as-source written all over it. As much as I liked the mammoth piece I dislike this one. It does not speak to my own personal experience of Facebook at all. But that’s just me.

    • Brian Duff

      Damn. I had the same exact experience/opinion.

  • RedeyeJack

    WHY do you care what other people post on their FB space? It’s their space. Their lives. You have yours. If you don’t like it, KEEP SCROLLING. Why in the fuck would you pay so much attention as to be annoyed, or be so pretentious as to think other people should “behave” by your invisible rules when posting to THEIR space on FB. Their little tiny space out of a Billion users. Seriously. Do something else. Occupy your time with stuff that means something instead of whining about why it’s annoying that other people brag, or focus on their own lives, or post shit that’s interesting to THEM. They don’t post and hold a gun to your head and say, “HEY. You’d better find this interesting and pay attention to it”. This article seems to have been written by a fucking child, who I am guessing is a millennial know it all who just can’t help himself but to give some advice on how to behave in a socially acceptable way to the invisible “rules”. Dude. Grow the fuck up and find something to do with yourself.

    • rytes

      WHY do you care what Tim posts on his blog? It’s his space. His life. You have yours. If you don’t like it, KEEP SCROLLING. Why in the fuck would you pay so much attention as to be annoyed, or be so pretentious as to think Tim should “behave” by your invisible rules when posting to HIS OWN BLOG. His little tiny space out of a Billion users. Seriously. Do something else. Occupy your time with stuff that means something instead of whining about someone who pointed that bragging and being self absorbed in a public forum is annoying. Tim didn’t write this and hold a gun to your head and say, “HEY. You’d better find this interesting and pay attention to it”. Your comment seems to have been written by a fucking child, who I am guessing is a millennial know it all who just can’t help himself but to give some advice on how you shouldn’t tell other people to behave in a socially acceptable way. Self-righteous, hypocritical prick. Grow the fuck up and find something to do with yourself.

      • RedeyeJack

        Huh. I have to say, nicely done. Touche. I read this right in the middle of a bunch of other shit on FB that was annoying the crap out of me and I needed a good keyboard pounding. Fair enough.

        • AnonymousAgain

          I initially wanted to make a similar comment to Rytes, then saw these. Never seem someone troll, get called out, and actually own up to it. Props.

  • Lorraine Clark

    So. We are all chattering monkeys, with our foibles and laughable motives, but behold there is an extra wise monkey ?
    Watching and smiling cos he’s clever enough not to need followers or praise…or is he? Gotcha!

  • Scott the Guest

    I don’t know about all this. I mean, when someone reads a facebook status and says, “You’re trying to make me jealous!” I tend to think the reader is just petty and jealous, and is blaming their facebook friend instead of taking responsibility.

    And when someone says, “Thank you, Rachel, for the best year of my life” isn’t it just possible that he’s saying that because he knows Rachel loves to be publicly appreciated, not because he wants the world to envy him and Rachel?

    And isn’t it a bit hypocritical to say that sharing little nuggets of wisdom says “allow me to teach you,” and then turn around and write this piece, which says, “allow me to teach you how to facebook.”?

    And doesn’t it seem contradictory to say, “you know what inspires people? You achieving something incredible and letting it be an example and inspiration to others” right after you say that posting about such things is a terrible, annoying brag?

  • ANON

    You’re the dumb fuck who signed up for being tracked, probably posts images of random people without so much as telling them so they can be tracked, and just generally does stupid things on stupid websites.
    Stop being retarded and buy a new brain.

  • Sally

    Thank you! This is the reason I hate facebook and refuse to have it.

  • Dan

    Looks like some people are pretty defensive…….

  • AnonymousAgain

    Everyone guilty of this knows they’re guilty, and either try to pretend they don’t notice or do what I will: become inspired enough to change and be honest on FB about my (at times) shitshow of a life that I rarely feel in control of, close this article, then carry on posting self serving bullshit. Great read, though. Thanks for the few minutes of hope.

  • No_6

    Oh yes. And I’ve been all of these perpetually, except for number 4. That one truly baffles me when I see it. The only solution for me is to slowly back away from the FB. Yet here I am. 😀

  • Bronwyn Pearce

    So if you follow all of these rules then what exactly would people post! There is nothing left. LOL

Home Archive