10 Types of 30-Year-Old Single Guys

30-year-old guys are a curious bunch.

Find me a group of 30-year-old men and I’ll pick out one overgrown frat dude living with roommates, another guy who just dropped his two kids off at school, a few who are well into their careers and a couple soul-searchers looking for work. Some will tell you that they’ve finally figured it all out and some more will say they feel hopeless for the first time in their lives. It’s a motley crew.

But perhaps the motliest part of this crowd is the ever-growing group of 30-year-old single guys. If you want a case study in humanity, 30-year-old single guys have pretty much all the bases covered. Let’s examine some of the common types:


1) The Total Package

total package
The Total Package is smart—he went to a top college. The Total Package is an athlete, a musician, and an avid traveler. The Total Package is handsome—and you better believe he’s well-groomed.
The Total Package has a hell of a career going, but don’t you for a second suggest that The Total Package would be a workaholic—The Total Package is a family man.

There’s just one thing The Total Package seems to be having a hard time finding—a girl worthy of his greatness.

Yes, the woman fit for The Total Package will be the ultimate icing on his cake of perfection. He imagines her often—gorgeous as they come, she turns heads; bursting with charm and charisma, she lights up every room she enters; she’s a brilliant rising star in her career and beloved by her many friends. And that’s just her public persona—at home, she’s fantastic in bed, a spectacular cook, loving, selfless, and devoted. Oh and she also speaks French, plays tennis, sings beautifully, reads voraciously and she’s a history buff. His Juliet.

Unsurprisingly, The Total Package is single. He’s immersed in a fierce battle between his superhuman standards and his terror of being 40 and single—because 40 and single is not supposed to be part of The Total Package’s story.

 

2) The New Lease On Life Guy

lease on life

As long as anyone can remember, The New Lease On Life Guy had been dating his longterm girlfriend. He never seemed that happy in the relationship, but everyone just assumed they would eventually get married. Now, after a long and difficult breakup, The New Lease On Life Guy has reemerged with a bang and is suddenly acting like he just got called down on The Price Is Right. He’s not really sure how to be single but he’s goddamn happy he is, and he’s sure as hell going out tonight.

He’s also the arch-nemesis of The Resigned Fiance, who’s in an equally unhappy relationship but just kind of kept going with it, unable to resist the sweet, sweet inertia, and who most certainly does not want to hear about The New Lease On Life Guy’s latest exploits.


3) The Guy Who Has To Marry Someone Of The Same Ethnicity Or His Parents Will Never Speak To Him Again

ethnicity

It’s hard enough finding someone to be your life partner, and this guy’s parents are really not making things any easier. He tried to rebel briefly, but after his last girlfriend was not allowed in his parents’ house, causing her to cry, he gave up on that.

He’d also really appreciate it if his mother would stop setting him up on dates.


4) The Misogynist

misogynist

The Misogynist hates women, and women hate The Misogynist. The Misogynist doesn’t know a whole lot about the other gender, but he can tell you the exact number of them he’s slept with—214.

He did quite well with girls back in his earlier days when many were in their attracted to assholes phase, but lately, only those with the lowest self-esteem seem to gravitate towards him.

The Misogynist’s close cousin is The Perpetual Cheater. They’re different but they understand each other.


5) The Guy Who Peaked Too Early

peaked early

Back in the day, The Guy Who Peaked Too Early had everything a 17-year-old girl could ever dream of. His sky-high confidence carried him smoothly through college, and no one was surprised when he landed a smart, sweet, beautiful girlfriend in his early 20s. But The Guy Who Peaked Too Early was just getting started. There was a field that needed to be played, and he broke up with his girlfriend when he was 24.

Now it’s seven years later, his hair got bored and left, and his high school lacrosse glory isn’t part of the conversation that much these days. And he’s noticing that girls like his ex-girlfriend don’t seem to be all that into him anymore. Realizing this about five years after everyone else, he takes a deep sigh and cranks his standards down a few big notches.

6) The Guy Who’s Finally a Good Catch

Finally a Good Catch

On the other side of the coin, after losing some weight, getting decent clothes, and having early career success, The Guy Who’s Finally a Good Catch is getting more attention each week than he got in his first 25 years combined. Girls find it endearing that such an appealing guy has managed to maintain his humility, when it’s actually just that he’s assuming every girl is out of his league at all times.

Once his new situation starts to sink in, he enters an unfortunate new phase, stressing his male friends out by doing things like winking at them over the shoulder of a girl he’s dancing with and offering them a fist pound when an attractive girl walks by on the street.

7) The Normal Guy Who Just Hasn’t Met The Right Girl Yet And He Really Wishes People Would Stop Looking At Him With Those Pitying Eyes

 normal guy

Ah, The NGWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE. The NGWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE is enjoying his life. He likes his job, he likes his friends, and he likes being single just fine. He’s in no rush to be in a relationship and feels totally confident that at some point, he’ll meet the right girl and get married.

He’s also not quite sure why everyone who knows him is trying to figure out “what the problem is.” His parents are worried, never wasting an opportunity to ask him if he’s been dating anyone. His friends want to help, setting him up on dates every chance they get. He appreciates all the unsolicited support, but he also thinks it would be pretty great if everyone stopped thinking there was something wrong with him.


8) The Aggressively Online Dating Guy Who Can’t Believe He’s Not Married Yet

can't believe not married

The opposite of the previous guy, The Aggressively Online Dating Guy Who Can’t Believe He’s Not Married Yet can’t believe he’s not married yet. Through high school, college and his twenties, he was always The Guy With A Girlfriend. He spent years enjoying pitying his single friends, and somehow, he’s now 30 and single.

He has four online dating profiles, and when people ask him if he’s dating anyone, he explains that he’s just too busy with his career right now for a relationship.

9) The In-The-Closet Guy

in the closet

The In-The-Closet Guy is so close to being the perfect catch—he’s handsome, he’s well-dressed, and he has a great job. He’s funny, articulate, and charming. The only tiny little inconvenience is that he’s not attracted to females whatsoever.

His antithesis is The NGWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE, who’s had just enough of the theories about him being gay, since he’s completely straight and, for the hundredth time, just hasn’t met the right girl yet and is really very okay with being single right now.


10) The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point

quit

The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point never tried that hard in the first place, but at least there used to be a semblance of effort. He doesn’t like going to bars, refuses to try online dating, and both the bong and the X-Box are back in the living room following their brief stint in the closet after his friend gave him a pep talk one day four months ago.

Deep down, The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point is pretty frightened about a lot of things, but his fear manifests itself in indifferent denial, and passivity usually prevails. There is only one way that things change for The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point, and that’s to find himself squarely in the sights of The Girl Who Relentlessly Pursues. Until then, the whole thing isn’t really his issue.


If you liked this, check out:

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  • Anonymous

    I LOVE THIS BLOG.

  • Anonymous

    New Lease On Life Guy’s drawing is just wonderful

    • Anonymous

      shawshank redemption

  • Anonymous

    Please tell me you’re single. I have the hots for you.

    • Anonymous

      Me too. Big times.

    • Anonymous

      :) He is single, he is a dreamer. “wait buy why” dreams of the smily european girl from hostel! And once he had her it would be mirrored in his posts. He is a mix of (not listed) Peter Pan, in a way … Total Package (nobody is perfect) and NGWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE just wihth couple of fears, hehe. UNLESS I AM WRONG, and he is everything opposite :)

    • Anonymous

      ohh yee, and he is around 30 😀

    • Anonymous

      and one more, he could be she :)

    • Anonymous

      lol, this was so obviously written by a woman

    • Anonymous

      It was written by a man.

  • Anonymous

    what about the soul-searching wanderer that can’t ever be tied down to one place or one person or one-year leases who is convinced that he has a good heart but his inherent selfishness and adventurous spirit won’t allow him to give his heart to one person but rather, divie them up into tiny little pieces for all the women in the world to share? he usually worships hemingway and kerouac and hunter s. thompson.

    • Anonymous

      Who are you and why do you know so well my relationship history?! I agree, the adventurous Peter Pan is missing here, the stray bullet who figures he’s a nice guy and everyone thinks he is, but he’s just selfish as hell. Also has quite an ego and is condescending, and will eventually say thing like “don’t fall for me, I’m a traveler” and similar BS.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06358194304460170717 Aimee

      and the more extreme types say “you can’t cage the wind, baby.”

    • Anonymous

      I’m that guy too!!
      But would just give a subtle warning – that the likelihood of this turning into a serious relationship is pretty small. However, I really like to be with you right now…

    • Anonymous

      +1 checking in.

    • Anonymous

      +2

    • Anonymous

      I don’t know whether it is the testosterone or what but guys tend to think about these things practically (as well as romantically). An attractive guy will have lots of potential mates. Why would he want to settle down at 30? He can become a dad any time over the next 40 years. He won’t really start feeling the “hmm I don’t want to be 60 at my kid’s high school graduation” for at least another 10 years. By then he’ll be even more successful at his career (or for the wanderer no less successful) making him even more attractive (and able to attract a desirable mate).

      It’s kind of like the mismatch between a man’s sexual peak (somewhere around 18) and a woman’s sexual peak (typically 10 years or more later). Kinda sucks for sure but on a purely practical level a man at 30 has very little to lose and 10 years of fun to gain by putting off marriage and child rearing for 10 years.

      Throw in the great career type, who can afford to eat out at restaurants every night, hire someone to clean his dwelling and the like, and in purely practical terms he has lots of reasons to not get married and have a family at 30.

    • Anonymous

      ha this must be a woman. Guess what- women peak at 17. by the time theyre 35 or so theyre way past their prime.

    • Anonymous

      Sexuality, not fertility.

    • Anonymous

      That would me

    • selfish wanderer

      thats me

  • Anonymous

    This is the worst, most ridiculous blog post that I’ve ever … Oh crap I’m number 10!

    • Anonymous

      Yep, I’m number 10 too. It wasn’t really a surprise. The part of “the whole thing isn’t really his issue.” was the most telling. To be completely honest if you are number 10 like me you wish that Life wasn’t your issue. It just leads to more life which leads to more crap to deal with. We should all just admit that we are going through the motions because everyone else around us finds it so god damn important to do so.

    • Anonymous

      Excellent point. People don’t understand us 10’s. We are passive and seem uncaring about fitting into roles because we have seen how fake a lot of the game is and we don’t wanna play it anymore. Once you start to become aware of this, it is frightening to try to play the game because you know that it ultimately doesn’t hold much genuine peace-of-mind. If success and relationships are tied into genuine satisfaction with life how come so many people aren’t satisfied and/or get divorced? How come that well paying job starts to suck the life out of you and you just become a shell of flesh pursuing some meaningless paper so that you can buy more shit to fill your void? What about all those famous celebrities that end up like the worn out wrecks you see on the street? These people have it all? Apparently not.

      • Fug

        Dude; you just need new friends. The people you surround yourself with will color your view of the world. If they are all the same type of people, they will make the whole world seem bland; if they are fake, the world appears fake.

        I used to be dead certain that you were right until I stumbled upon a group of people that broke all the “rules” in my head. I mean, I actually found a diverse group of friends that were part of a much larger network, all of whom were genuinely enjoying their lives, and I was so set in my deep, dark pessimism that I had immediately written them all off as being big fakers, because nobody is ever legit. But I hung around for a bit anyway cuz they kept inviting me to things and then I met my wife.

        When I met her and started talking to her and saw how genuine she was, the world I thought I knew just melted away. And I couldn’t believe how bright the real world is.

    • Anonymous

      What this guy said. Or maybe we’re just “afraid of a lot of things” and trying to rationalize our failure. I personally have a hard time connecting with ANYBODY these days, most people are brainwashed sheep, unwitting tools of major corporations.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05922056608873107130 Chris Plumb

    There seems to be a whole lot more #10 guys than anyone else on this list. All my old single friends are just waiting for a girl to fall into their lap while they are playing X-box. Ain’t gunna happen, as the Relentlessly Pursuing girls are all starting to be grabbed up by another group: The Recent Divorcees Who Were Screwed Over By Domineering Women.

    • Anonymous

      No man, saying that 10’s want someone to fall into their lap implies that they actually care, and they don’t.

  • Anonymous

    I am a combination of a few of these… depending on the moment you find me in.

  • Anonymous

    I was NGWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE but I finally did meet her and got married.

  • http://vtdubief.wordpress.com/ vtdubief

    I think you’re giving The Guy Who’s Finally a Good Catch short shrift here. These guys are the absolute BEST! In fact if you swap “losing some weight, getting decent clothes” with “lost the perm, braces, and stopped playing trombone” I’m basically the lady-version of this guy.

    The Guy Who’s Finally a Good Catch is pretty much the best guy around. Unless he’s too busy posting “see how hot I am now” photos on FB in which case he’s a douche and probably well on his way into turning into the Total Package.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04003522787987545206 LJN

      Trombones are cool!

    • Jonnydark

      Perms, Braces and Trombones are cool! I’m not even joking. I’m happy you have self confidence but I’m sorry the price you had to pay.

  • Anonymous

    It’s mighty arrogant but I fit the total package stereotype the most. If someone could teach me how to be less picky and overthinking it’d be great..:\

  • Anonymous

    What about “Guy who works in a mediocre job and still lives at home with parents”? I know a few.

    • Anonymous

      You called?

  • Anonymous

    I wish this list were true, but every guy I know who is 30ish and single-ish is either divorced with a big shoulder chip, has a kid between the ages of 3 and 7 from a previous marriage or irresponsible sexual relations, works 60-80 hours/week, and/or socially incapable of marketing himself as available/interested/ALIVE…idk. You’re telling me there’s hope? LOL

  • Anonymous

    As I was reading I was trying to figure out which of these categorizes best described me, until I realized part way through that being in a long term relationship kind of disqualifies me from any of these bins. But u until I met her I was pretty much NGWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE though.

    • Anonymous

      This is too funny! :-) ha ha!

  • Anonymous

    Keep up the great blog posts. I can’t help but come back to your site every couple days on my lunch break, desperately hoping I’ll find a new article.

  • Anonymous

    I think I’m missing something here. Why is it so bad to be a single man at 30? Life only gets better as a single man after all. This is the kind of thing women should be worried about, not men.

    • Anonymous

      OKAY, MISOGYNIST.

    • Anonymous

      Tell me one word that I wrote which is incorrect? It isn’t misogyny if it’s the truth.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17467874879087906333 Bea

      Right, because clearly single women over thirty either die or must go live in a convent since their life is over forever. God forbid that they have a career, friends, hobbies or any other thing to fulfill their life that doesn’t come attached to a penis.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07065829060476417723 Kimberly Davis

      I think you are missing a lot of things here. It is really great that you don’t mind being single because my guess is that you will be for quite some time. The next time you realize how stale your life is with your video games, porn, and frozen dinners I hope you think back to this post number ten. While you ponder your dull existence, there will be lots of beautiful, well rounded individuals building meaningful relationships, eating delicious dinners, and having great conversations.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t kneed a woman to cook me dinner.

      • Anonymous

        Mid 40’s here, alone and always have been, and completely untroubled by it.

    • Anonymous

      haha. wow. i don’t play video games, i cook my dinner daily, and rarely watch porn. i really have to roll my eyes when people default to these types of assumptions about a single guy. i have a lot of meaningful relationships with women, i just don’t choose to be in a relationship. is it so hard to believe that a man can have a good life without a woman?

      i’m not trying to say that a woman can’t either, but the facts are that womens looks are fading by the time they hit 30, if they want to land a quality guy they don’t have too much time left, especially if they want to have kids. men don’t face any of these constraints.

    • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07065829060476417723 Kimberly Davis

      These are default assumptions about all single people. Not just men. It isn’t hard to believe that a man can have a good life without a woman. It IS hard to believe that a person can live a good life without experiencing commitment and profound respect from at least one other person for an extended period of time.
      The fact is that both genders looks wane in the long run. A saggy scrotum is just as gross (if not grosser) as a saggy pair of tits.
      True, there is a time limit for having children, but who would want to have a daughter with a man that would cast her into the “ugly old maid” category after just 30 short years of life.
      Maybe your delusion of “Life only getting better for single men” will end when your dick stops working.

    • Anonymous

      Truthfully, more and more women are realizing what an oppressive institution marriage is and are choosing to stay single because they don’t NEED men, and men are paying the price. You go, girls!

    • Mike P.

      Some of us wanted to find love earlier. Having a woman when you are older means she slept around a lot then decided to give us, the older guy, a chance. She is settling for the older man once she is done sleeping around.

  • Anonymous

    I’m not sure I’d want to hear about the 10 types of married men, in might push me over the edge into category 10.

  • Anonymous

    Wait…are any of these guys mountain guides?! And I think aside from Peter Pan syndrome, they have an official name: The FOMO Guy (Fear of Missing Out). I feel your pain. xo

  • http://waitbutwhy.com/ Sarah B

    As a soon-to-be-single-again 30 year old, this is the sort of stuff that haunts my nightmares.

    Also I expected some self-referential humor here… are you not single?

  • Anonymous

    Type #1 here. It’s a sickness, and I hate it.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07065829060476417723 Kimberly Davis

    This blog is really great. I like that the publisher relies on his experiences without trying to back it with studies or statistics. An author who doesn’t take oneself too seriously and mercilessly gives a dose of his dry sense of humor is something to relish. Something about the awesome shitty cartoons pulls at my heart strings. I wait for it every week and I know why.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11628090428353073517 EffinLife

    This was too funny and I laughed so hard because I know so many of these guys. I know its bad but the chinese guy one is really funny. I’m going to hell for this!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13498366243284139417 Gunmetal Geisha

    The Chinese Single Guy: Brilliant.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03919928014165571837 Rob

    Clever and funny but I think we can deduce two things here: The writer is female (obvious), and it appears as if a certain measure of projection is in play. All these types of men display (at least to the writer) the same defect: They aren’t marriageable material. 30yr old dudes may be married…or not. And evidence suggests that more of them are deciding (logically in my view) against. But they don’t obsess over it, and certainly don’t view it as a defect.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe the writer was a woman, but if you look at the about page http://www.waitbutwhy.com/p/about.html it appears that contributors are male – maybe your stereotypes of women are slightly askew?

    • Anonymous

      The author is male.

    • Anonymous

      The author is a male who got a sex change operation and became a female.

  • Anonymous

    What’s wrong with being single? What if this was “10 types of 30-year-old single girls”? I think we’d see a ton of tumblr-feminists saying it’s missoginy.

    • Anonymous

      What, did this article hurt your feelings? If you’re a single male, you’re a loser. If you’re a single woman, you’re choosing not to conform to societal standards.

      • Anonymous

        If you’re a single male you’re a loser? That is idiotic. Better to be free.

    • Anonymous

      Bingo.

    • Anonymous

      What are you an idiot?? Was Newton a loser? Michelangelo, Da Vinci?? Tesla? Some men are not interested in romantic relationships, you are the loser to think in this conformist collectivist way. You are the loser, Anonymous.

      • I’m also Anonymous

        Michelangelo was gay, Da Vinci was gay, and Tesla had romantic love for a pigeon “as a man loves a woman”, so I think we can just toss that right out. But yeah, Newton was a loser. And probably gay.

        • DH

          No dude.

          You are a loser and a homophobic as well.

  • Anonymous

    is there a following-up artical on 30-year-old sing girl? I’d like to find out what type of single girl i’d be in!

    • princess

      Single guy hi

    • Joey Tribbiani

      How you Doin’

  • Anonymous

    Consider an alternative viewpoint on the total package. Having a great career at 30 generally means you are either incredibly driven, incredibly lucky or working for rich parents. Most people change careers at least once and a lot of people coming out of college don’t know what profession they want.

    These days the 30 year old is competing with grad school graduates from not only the us but in many professions the best and brightest from around the world.

    Having a great career at 30 is basically incompatible with being anything other than a workaholic (in the usa at least).

    Consider also that 2 very driven people are going to have very little time and energy for the work it takes to raise a family.

    I’ve seen surveys of what successful men are looking for in a woman. A great or even good career doesnt even make the top 10 (anonymous surveys so they can be honest).

    A very driven career minded person that wants a family at 30 is mainly going to need help. Successful men often put off raising a family until their 40s after they’ve established themselves in a career and no longer need to be a workaholic to keep up. Nature has unfortunately made this a less compelling option for the very driven career minded woman (though there are fertility treatments that can stretch things a bit).

    In every relationship there’s give and take but most of the happily married in their 30s couples with offspring that I’ve seen tend to either specialize (he or she postpones career ambitions and focuses on the home and family while the other focuses on career) or, rarer but it still happens, they both put their career on the back burner.

    • Anonymous

      a woman expecting the type of man her mother got + all the perks of feminism is not compatible with reality.

  • Anonymous

    Curious what would the woman version of this tell?

  • Anonymous

    Ha ha, I’m totally New Lease on Life Guy (except I’m female.)

  • Steve F

    The interesting thing is at 20 there is only one group which is guys who want to get laid. As that blinding light starts to fade we see texture and shadows in the landscape. Once you get past 40 and you realise that not signing up to reproduction and lifetime partnership is a is a real and positive option, you can really do anything you want.

    • Anonymous

      exactly. This article makes it out as if the only purpose men have in life is impressing women.

  • Anonymous

    he’s handsome, he’s well-dressed…..what the F? So he gay because he handsome, funny and in his 30s? This blog was made up by a angry women out for payback or some young hating dude who thinks he knows the world. Anyway I don’t care what you people think single I am 30 and single I am into someone helps me with a good career since my parent were to pure to help me go to college. No high paying career then no kids for me!

  • Anonymous

    This is why men should hate American women, their all gay, under cover, male hating Feminist. Their all part of the Feminist group out to destroy man as we no it. The female Feminist group put the page up and half the female Feminist are gay or by out to destroy us. Study on it and read about it, the female hormones beening put in are water?

  • Anonymous

    I am being “The In-The-Closet Guy” for quite some time now, but that feels OK and don’t think it’s gonna change in the near future.

    • Me too!

      Seriously, I thought I was the only one.

  • Anonymous

    Fabulous post, very entertaining. This is the first post I’ve read on your site and I’m hooked, I’ll be looking for the single girl one now… : )

  • Anonymous

    Actually, is there a similar post for 30 year old single girls? If so, can someone point me to the link? Thanks!

  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous

    Then there’s men like this one, who was once in his 30’s. I want more like this one please: :) http://charlotterescuemission.org/purple-camaro/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07500024711541096567 OMFGITSROHIT

    Your sketches are actually great. That they lack precision only adds personality and maintains the satirical tone of your articles. “New lease on life” is just wonderful. Can’t believe you actually scribbled rain.

    I see myself heading towards number 10. Well, GG.

  • Anonymous

    Actually, you forgot “Already Been Married Once and Has Kids and is Super Angry at His Ex-Wife” Guy. There’s about a billion of them in their 30s. Maybe a billion trillion.

  • Anonymous

    Of course it makes total sense that a guy who has slept 214 women hates women and women hate him. Oh and those 214 women HAVE to be low self esteem trashy skanks. How else? It all fits perfectly and I detect no jealously or bitterness from the author whatsoever towards women.

  • Anonymous

    This is a blog that claims to be creeped out by the far right because their racist loons, and yet this post contains more blatant racism than you’ll ever see at a GOP rally. Claiming that the Chinese kill their daughters sounds like the type of lies the Nazis spread about Jews during WWII. The reason why there are so many “missing” girls is in China is due to gender selective abortions and unreported births. We can assume that infanticide does occur in China, because, like murder, it occurs in all countries, but there are very few documented cases of it actually happening. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find even one concrete example. As an expat living in China, I can also tell you that I’ve met many women from rural China and never heard even the slightest suggestion that infanticide is happening. I can also tell you that if you went up to the parents of a newborn girl in this country and asked them, “So, have you ever thought about drowning her?” that you’d better be able to handle both of them in a fight afterwards.

  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous

    Here is the male response to this list. 10 types of single WOMEN over 30… http://www.lightlybraisedturnip.com/10-types-single-women-over-30/

  • Anonymous

    Wow where did you get the picture of me for #2?

  • Anonymous

    You forgot the guy who has been with the same girlfriend for 10+ years and still hasn’t married her, partly out of fear, but partly because he still clings to the sliver of a chance that one day he’ll be single again and make up for all that lost time by sleeping with dozens of women. The grass is always greener, isn’t it?

    • bla

      Go sleep around and see if you like it. If you do, break up with her. If you don’t, marry her.
      And don’t tell her you did it. I know this is all immoral, but it’s better than stringing her along all this time. As a woman here, I’m surpised she stuck by you. She must really love you.

  • Anonymous

    Great Article, Now I know why i still don’t have a girlfriend at 32. It’s because I’m looking for the perfect girl that will be worthy of my (nevermind for the sake of being humble)

    I’m a Total Package guy, they say I’m handsome (resemblance with Tom Cruise), Graduated at a prestigious school. I excel at different sports, I love playing musical instruments particularly guitar, I can sing, I lift weights to maintain my body. love reading books and loves admiring beautiful hot and sexy women. (I mean the really beautiful). despite the accepted notion that whats inside is the more important thing, I still value outward looks and beauty before personality, If a girl doesn’t interest me at first glance or within 3 seconds, I don’t wanna pursue it anymore.

    Before you judge me as an egotist or shallow, better think first, Do you know that MOST men particularly those on the Top Tier is naturally attracted to beautiful women. Nothing personal to those that are not too lovely, its just We admire beauty and aesthetics. So peace, make love not war, just voice my opinion. I’ve bookmarked this page and hoping some uber hottie would read this. Thanks.

    – Top Tier –

    • Anonymous

      Your grammar is ALMOST as bad as your general understanding of females. Most über hotties could care less about blogs such as these, let alone comprehend them. The few that can/do would have only enough interest in your totally generic, fictitious list of virtues to make sure they covered all your “highlights” in the process of deconstructing your over-inflated ego. Consider yourself forgotten. As a sign of goodwill, I will offer you this advice: stick to posting pathetic selfies on Facebook and hoping you do get a hit from an über hottie. Youre certainly not going to attract one using this medium.

      -Uninterested Hottie-

  • Anonymous

    you know them penguins, when they all choose a penguin then there’s that penguin on there own guy.

  • Anonymous

    Bullshiiiiiiiit written by a woman who does not fully comprehend men or cocks nice try though. You know the writer is a female because most of this happens at 21 when the cock outgrows every vag but the long term lover. These two thumbs are not impressed by this blog it is written by a woman without a man about men the cartoons were very very nice though etc.etc.etc. arm baby wang with good oxygen flow when im not a woaround huffining heifers and hatters that dont like sloppy seconds (hams)

  • Anonymous

    I like your post. I think 30-year-old guys are the matured men so they are successful in life. The way they look at things are more matured than younger men. Most single women like men who are older than 30 years old.

  • Have a look

    I’d like to call marginal plagiarism here on concept:

    http://www.lightlybraisedturnip.com/10-types-single-women-over-30/

    I think WbW should at the very least reach out and help this guy – not the best writing.

  • Anonymous

    10 types of 30 year old single girls. PLEASE -28yo single guy

  • Josh

    I’d have to say I am number a number 10. I have a great job as a electrical engineer in Alaska, making well over six figures working in the oil industry. So I have the money to support a wife. I own a brand new house and two cars. I am also an avid gym-goer, I work out all the time and keep a very fit body. I’m also a nice person, not a social butterfly but I’m very respectful and easy to get along with. I’m actually a bit on the shy side, but I am very out going when I get to know someone.

    My only thing, I just absolutely refuse to give into the female-american expectations. How come an attractive girl has never approached me? They always EXPECT me to make the first move. I always feel like when I approach a girl, I am putting her up on a pedestal where she is looking down on me, deciding if I am worthy of her. She works at Star-Bucks for a living and she is deciding if I am worthy of her?! What exactly does she have that entitles her to stand atop a pedestal and pick and choose who is worthy of her?

    I’ve pretty much given up on American women. They are even worse in Alaska because he have an abundance of high earning males here and less females. Even the chubby ones single mothers, with no life skills whatsoever expect a man to approach them and court them.

    • J.R.

      American women want to be valued. When a guy wants to be with them, women assume he needs to work for it. This means that the easier it is for the guy to court her, the cheaper she feels. The harder it is to get with them, the more valuable they feel. Basically, too easy means she is easy. Also, women don’t want to be pushed into a relationship, but rather they like to be won over. They like the romantic idea of “relationship by fate”, but they also don’t like guys trying to create the fateful situation. It’s all very twisted.

      Guys just want a chance to be nice to her and plan to work at keeping the relationship, assuming he’s a good partner. When a guy sees a woman he likes for the first time, he will always remember the way she looks at that moment. His attention is on the present with hope for the future. Women evaluate the man primarily for the future and his potential to match her expectations of the future.

      • Anonymous

        Nicely put JR. Josh asks “what exactly does she have”? The snatch between her legs, to crudely put it in a biologic perspective. Josh sounds like he has a chip on his shoulder, and may even be a mysoginist. Me, I’m a 1, no doubt. Superhuman standards yes, terror of being single no. I’ve made it well into my 40s and have let more than one exceptional woman go. Now i want kids so I’ve got to adjust my thinking. Maybe I’m finally mature enough. I think I’m going to be one of those 50 year olds dads chasing a toddler around… Sounds like fun.

    • NA

      It’s pretty crap elsewhere in Canada/USA, too. Women have become beasts of entitlement since society told them they deserved everything in the universe just for being women.

  • Anonymous

    What is up with the Single Chinese Guy part? That’s totally racist and unacceptable, and I’m not even a Chinese guy. It’s not cool to be ignorant.

    • NL

      What is up is racism in the marriage market. Just look at OkC’s blog post about racism. This should be acknowledged and dealt with honestly & critically, not denied/ignored, which is what the authors/admin have done by deleting the Single Chinese guy part.

      Racism is not only thing Chinese guys are up against; the Chinese gender ratio imbalance decreases their chances of even intra-ethnic marriage. This is reality, which must be accepted to thwart shit, such as Asian guys accusing women of marrying non-good guys: http:// qr.ae/DOXft

  • Joe

    Nice casual racism about China. Wasn’t expecting that.

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  • Anonymous

    wow, what a load of crap

  • Anonymous

    NGWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE represent!
    (ok, i’ve still got 5 years to go)
    I’ve also had people claim (ask) that I was asexual (not sure what I am doing wrong there?)

  • Garry

    Hi, all is going fine here and ofcourse every one is sharing facts, that’s genuinely good, keep up writing.

    My web blog; buy rocket piano

  • Tim

    Well written. I thought you covered all the scenarios. 42 unmarried male here. Will your next installment cover that age bracket? Lol.

  • Anonymous

    I’m number 6, 9 and 10: No women, no men, no puppets. Yes, I´m a happy Schizoid guy :)

  • alex Z

    10 all the way. :/

  • alex Z

    For everyone who thinks 10s are “waiting” for a girl to fall into their lap, Id clarify by saying that 10s are NOT waiting for anyone. Personally, I’m so bugged down in personal psychological hell that I wouldn’t even WANT anyone to wake me from my stupor. I wouldn’t be good for them. But I do suppose that there is still hope for someone like, it just has to come from an external source, otherwise I’ll never care again….

    Not that anyone cares haha

    • carlos

      I feel the exactly same way

  • J.R.

    If only single women were afflicted the same way as the single guys described in this list. There would be a match for all 9 of the 10 types. Of course, the Total Package types would hook up the quickest with the desperate 2 through 9’s who have less money. The only hopeless ones would be the #10 types. Alas, it’s not that way. So what’s the reason for the growing single male population?

    Not all of them are successful financially.

    In American society, people want partners with money. Of course, they know that money is not the most important thing in life, but they are practical enough to know it’s a close second. I’m saying “people” as in both hetero and gay alike. Value is attributed to something that is hard to get. For most people, a significant amount of money is hard to get versus inner qualities we are born with or simply gain just by living life.

    Knowing the reality of money is an unfortunate self-manifesting reality. Everyone who wants to gain and keep a relationship knows to strive for income that supplements their other (non-money) intrinsic qualities. Nice inner-qualities without money are just “nice” side-bonuses. Ideally, we all want partners who have inner qualities along with being well off. A rich partner may not be the first choice based on a lack of inner-qualities, but will be valued and eventually loved.

    • martin

      Men don’t care whether their girlfriend has money, or career. They are only interested in how she looks and whether she is sane. The first (and probably last) question for a man: “Is she fat?” If you are a woman then you can’t speak for men, and if you are a man then you have been brainwashed into repeating things you have learned but that are untrue because you have not thought for yourself..

    • Lisa547

      I really don’t care about money, I would prefer to have a hot guy who is poor than an old, ugly guy who is rich.

      #justsayin’

      • Anomandaris

        Well then it seems that you are one in a million. Girls that don’t value earnings are few and far between.

        I make 6 figures a year and it got to the point that I quit telling women what I did for a living. Started telling them that I drove a garbage truck, it was highly amusing to see the look of distaste on their face. Great way to weed out the golddiggers and shallow wretches.

        • Lisa547

          They’re not few and far between. They’re simply called “women who don’t want children and thus don’t have to worry that their children will starve.” Which is really the responsible thing to do, I don’t know why it would be called golddigging to care about a potential partner’s ability to contribute and provide for a household where small, helpless children are involved. I’m eating for one and can feed myself so do not gaf nor have to gaf what a man earns.

        • Rebecca Aspin

          You really are bitter dude. Maybe a woman just wants a guy who earns the same as her so they can enjoy the same type of activity together paid for on a 50/50 basis? Not wanting to sub a man’s pay cheque does not make a woman a gold digger or a shallow wretch. Maybe she is thinking that if her garbage truck date earns half that she does she will always need to pay for more of the dates. Long term that can be frustrating as I am sure you have experienced for yourself. Men think in that way too as it goes. There are plenty of male “gold diggers” as you call them. Just out of interest, why does saying what you do instantly reveal you earn six figures? It isn’t that difficult to play down your career and earnings surely. I guess if you say that you are a divorce lawyer it means you might earn a decent wage but then again, you have just publicly declared that you earn 6 figures. Why do that? Are you sure there wasn’t a part of you that wanted your dates to know you earned six figures? We are conditioned to value ourselves in this economic way. You seem very angry and that is why you have attracted negative or unkind women. Negativity attracts negativity. Positivity attracts positivity and on a positive note, it is great that you have found yourself a nice female partner. I believe you mentioned you have a good woman in your life in an earlier post.

      • VV
  • Steve

    What about the good job, fairly in shape but mildly socially awkward shy guy?

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  • Anonymous

    #11 The guy who refuse to buy or go to Asia to find a wife.

  • Grace

    LOL I’m the female version of the #6. I mean, I have a fair amount of suitors… but none of them are the right one. I bet some people think I’m gay by now.

  • Jack

    When a man is young a woman has the power of persuasion, as he gets older she loses her power.

  • Anonymous

    Am I the only 5 here? (Without the hairloss though)

  • Confused but satisfied

    I’m a pretty healthy mix between 1, 2, 6, 7 & 9. It’s very confusing. I feel like at this point I have a 10/10 personality and body, but my standards are now too high, and i also genuinely have a lot of personal projects and ambitions. Yet, I can also get laid whenever I want, but you’d be surprised how that’s not exactly the ‘problem-solver’ you can think it is, because I only want to get laid with someone amazing and incredible. These people are few and far-between, in both women and men. It’s like your reward for being progressive and fixing yourself is to lower your standards or be alone.

  • Herpyderpic

    @Jack et al – as a female 6 (luckily I’m terrified of kids) I suddenly blossomed at 40 and now can’t leave the house without attracting men. Sometimes teenagers with cougar fantasies (fuck off); more often NGsWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE. We don’t all reach age 25 and turn into wizened old crones, astonishingly!

    • Pablo Martin Podhorzer

      Blossomed at 4… sorry, I can´t finish the comment because I am laughing at your hamster.

      • Herpyderpic

        You alright, poppet? You seem to be talking gibberish…maybe get that seen to?

  • Lizzie

    Men should stop complaining about why they are single. They only ever go for the fun, flirty, swishing ponytail/bun, I’m so crazy, I’m so quirky, I love serious AND fun chat, sports, animals, good grades, crazy nights with my gal pals blah blah- kind of woman. I see it happen over and over. If you limit yourself to the characteristics above your whole life, then no relationship will be long term.

    • Murz

      While women complain about men being jerks and would like a nice guy. However, they never actually go out with a nice a guy.
      Like my generalising? Women and Men are bother just as bad as each other. Women and Men both often go on looks first. It’s natural to be attracted to a potential mate.
      Of course there is a lot more to a relationship.

  • Fred

    I’m almost 30, and I’d consider myself on the way to be a #6. One thing I wasn’t really aware of is the attention you get from much younger girls once you actually get your appearance together. I live in a college town, and have good looking undergrad girls flirting with me all the time. This is funny, because back when I was in undergrad I basically viewed anyone older than 25 as pretty ancient.

    I’m thinking that I either look younger than my age(which is very possible), or that girls simply don’t care much about dating a guy who is almost a decade older. Whatever it is, I’m happy because there aren’t many 30 year old girls I know dating younger guys.

  • Miguel Saavedra

    I just turned 30 and I fit in category number 10. Easily. Never had a GF and this year I stopped trying to get one, embracing my lonelyness in that aspect.

  • TellingTheTruth

    With many women that are Gay nowadays is a very good reason why there are many of us Straight Single Good Guys today having trouble finding a Good Woman to settle down with, and we’re Not to blame either.

  • http://www.amco-autoglass.com/ HDLuffy

    #3 which then turns me into #8 #FML

  • Robert Fishburne

    Originally posted this under the FB thread, but realized it will get buried.

    “The Poe”

    Their relationship was one for the ages. It wasn’t perfect, nothing really is (though the rosetint of memory will do that, the further in the past it was), but it was amazing. A story worthy of poetry, or at least a Nicholas Sparks movie. Talking about their relationship sounds like fiction, but it really happened. it had ups and downs, trials and tribulations, started as a will-they-or-won’t-they romcom, and when they did, it became an emmy-winning dramedy that spoke something profound about the human condition.

    And now she’s gone forever.

    Sucks to be you.

    This doesn’t necessarily have to be because of death. In the olden days, simply moving to another state could end a great relationship just as abruptly, with as much finality. But in the age of Facebook, unless someone takes extraordinary measures it’s hard to lose someone who is still breathing. Regardless, this guy is damaged goods. It doesn’t matter how long ago it happened–it could have been last year, or it could have been in high school–either way, he’s metaphorically got “Not Over It” tattooed on his forehead, and almost literally somewhere else on his body. He’s pitiable because…wow…I mean….that’s rough, buddy. However, ultimately he brings his current romantic troubles on himself by comparing all present prospects to his lost Lenoire. Out loud. On the FIRST DATE.

    …this is me.

  • Adc

    It’s very sad that so many guys feel like they are number 10, but it’s very hard for guys when whatever they do, girls just won’t give them a chance.

    • Anomandaris

      And when they do give them a chance, 2 years and a marriage later she sleeps with his friend, files for divorce and takes half (or more) of his stuff.

      If you guys want a decent loving woman that hasn’t been indoctrinated with the idea that she is a special princess that always deserves better no matter how big of a bitch she is,, you need to go outside of North America.

      And to any haters, no I’m not bitter at women. I have a great one, but I’ve seen friends go through that scenario recently( no I wasn’t the “friend”.)

      • Kathryn Warner

        You’re not bitter at women, yet just lumped all North American women together in a single, evil pot? That’s just… no…

    • Ranger Larry

      I agree, I’m really successful don’t have much of an issue talking to women, but they all blow me off.

  • A numbered guy

    Hells yes 10! The only way to live a decent life these days is through escapism. Look at all the stuff 1-9 fret about.

    I have none of that. The new world of warcraft expansion is really good, and I slept in for the 3700th day in a row. The only thing that sucks about being 10 is that I can’t live on pies and candy anymore. Need actual human food.

    I never see people, which is also a positive if you think about how the world suddenly became furiously right wing and angry. I don’t have time for humans at the best of times. Humans have proven lately that competition, hate, fear and rage is essentially what passes for humanity these days.

    10 is past competition. 10 knows that everyone is wasting their short lives doing jobs that could be done by computers and robots. Why do they do this? Because society tells them procration and work are the two primary drivers of everything…. Sex gets dull FAST, and working at this point in history essentially equals competing for trinkets. “Compete amongst yourselves, unwashed masses! Fight for the recognition of your superiors! And the privilege to rebuy the same items over and over because they only last a year or two!!!”

    People who are motivated by what society offers should NOT sit down and question society. Unless you want to become a 10. There are consoles right now, and games have never been better. Virtual Reality is also right around the corner.

    The time has never been riper. Embrace the sweet surrender.

    I might have a nap now.

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  • Justin Sawchuk

    Your lucky us 10’s are too lazy to organize, otherwise we would burn this world to the god damn ground.

  • fako namo

    You totally plagerized this article from lightlybraisedturnip.com
    Score

  • Berkeley

    I’m a variant of the 10th type: I never quit at one point, I just never tried. And yes, in the one hand I have some regrets, however.

  • CrimsonCobra

    I fall in category number 10 and that’s mainly because too many women, especially western women these days are feminazis (curse them!) and I absolutely can’t stand them. What’s more, I’m 31-year-old virgin (yes, you heard me right) and it’s embarrassing that I’m still a virgin at this age. I originally intended to save my virginity for marriage, but in the age of feminism and misandry, that’s just impossible. Fortunately, I’m planning to visit the legal brothel in Nevada this year with the intention of losing my virginity. Although my decision to lose my virginity to a prostitute may seem immoral to you, the thought of dying a virgin was just too much for me to bear.

    • Neon Drive

      Don’t feel bad. I didn’t wait till 31 like you did, but at 20-21? I don’t regret it, because if I didn’t, I would still be a virgin today.. And I’m 26 now..

    • Matt C

      I hate to tell you, but with language like “feminazi” or “age of feminism and misandry”, you might be more of a virgin-5 than a 10.

      Acting like people are terrible for continuing to fight for social equivalency doesn’t, especially when you’re a part of the privileged group acting totally unaware of your own situation, doesn’t exactly endear you to others.

      So, yeah… maybe you should take a step back, research the core tenets of feminism and equality a little more, take a deep breath, and go back in to your search for the right person. She is out there for you, you maybe just need to make yourself a former 5 who has opened their mind and matured in to a 6 before you find her.

      • Jonathan Gray

        Go tell some homeless guys living under a bridge they’re part of a ‘privileged group’

        I only need to give a single counter-example to disprove your point. That’s how hypothetical conversations work.

        There is no ‘privileged group’, beyond the wealthy upper-classes. And they’ve cleverly got us all arguing pointlessly with each other whilst they cream everything off the top, leaving the scum for the scum.

        Matt, I’m guessing you’re left wing. Which makes it worse that you think anything other than class is the determinant of ‘privilege’. Working class men do not have privilege, and indeed have less privilege than wealthier women (less educational opportunity, more danger in their work, more likely to end up homeless/addicted to drugs, die younger, worse health outcomes and spending etc). Your privilege is decided by two things in the US – class and colour. Your gender matters not a jot. The sooner we realise this and all come together as working class people, the better off we will all be.

        Anyways, I did enjoy the article :). After several bad relationships, I am number 10, though I still have much hope for the future :).

        • Anomandaris

          Privilege is decided by one thing. Class. I’m a white male that has had absolutely zero handed to me. I’ve worked for everything I have.

          Nobody has ever given me anything because I’m white. No Affirmative Action hire for me. No easy to get business loans or programs like women have geared towards them. No admission to college based on skin color quota ‘ s.

          Left wing progressive beta males yapping about ‘privilege’ can stuff it up their ass.

          Come do my job for 6 months and then tell me all about my ‘privilege’.

          Take a look at how much tax I pay and yap to me about ‘privilege’.

          The thing I love the most about prog beta males are that their girlfriends are ridiculously easy to get into bed.

      • Rebecca Aspin

        Matt – Will you marry me? Yours with anticipation, Single for 2 years empowered woman (AKA feminazi)

    • Chris

      definitely go to Tijuana not Nevada

      • Raymond

        I strongly recommend against going to Tijuana. The Tijuana courtesans don’t specialize in dealing with virgins and they have no patience for virgins. My cousin had to learn the hard way when he went there to lose virginity.

        My advice: Go to either Bunny Ranch or Sheri’s Ranch in Nevada and set your budget at least $1,000. They are expensive, but trust me, they are well worth your time.

  • Perd Hapley

    Used to be a 7 bordering on 1 (not that I’m so great, but the reason I was waiting for the right girl is my standards are stupid and unreasonable). I’m probably pretty firmly in the 10 category now. I don’t own a bong or an xbox or anything like that, but I’ve come to grips with the fact that if it hasn’t happened yet, it probably isn’t going to happen. Arguing with 35 years of empirical evidence just seems foolish. Best to just enjoy life as it comes and get what female companionship I need from my friends and sex from a random hookup. It could certainly be worse.

    • jim hampton

      Get a pet goat, that helps a lot.

  • Patrick Hudson

    Crying because I don’t know which one I am

  • Tikhung

    Well that was anti-climatic.

  • glab

    I just married guy #10 and I wasn’t really the Girl Who Relentlessly Pursues. I just showed him love and he chose to make himself better because he felt loved either way :)
    There is hope out there everyone!!

  • Chiel Wieringa

    What about the guy who is just to insecure to get into a new relationship because of previous experienced relationships which just completely shattered his heart… not once but twice. And still your family is wondering why you are not in a relationship. Whining about how THEY love to have grand-kids and stuff like that. Ah well, better to have loved and lost I guess.That’s waaaaaaaay better since you know what you are potentially missing…

    “But Chiel, you just haven’t met the right girl yet” SCREW YOU!

    Yes. I am bitter.

  • OhSoVeryTrue

    Well Gee Wiz this is very easy to explain, with so much more women today that are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, and very spoiled, would be a very good reason why so many of us good men are still single today as i speak which it is certainly Not our fault at all.

  • LindaJStone

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  • DoubleMeh

    You forgot the mentally ill guy who finally thinks he’s been prescribed the right medications to function normally, but he now has zero dating experience and an entry-level job. A female friend of mine once went on a date with one of these 30+ types of single loser guys, not knowing beforehand.

  • Mike P.

    I am #7 but I am trying to figure out what’s wrong with me while friends, and women I’ve met, have all told me that nothing is wrong. It’s very frustrating to keep hearing that you’re doing the right things but everything goes wrong.

  • Sean Kno

    Most likely, either the guy has many high standards (psychological issues and needs to reevaluate himself) or afraid to approach women (low self esteem/lacking in confidence) or is physically disabled (deaf/blind/speech issues/etc)

    • Ranger Larry

      Short, that’s a deal breaker for women too.

  • RVABREAD22

    Why is it when a man is not married by a certain age, people assume he doesn’t like women. But if a woman isn’t married by a certain age, no one assumes she doesn’t like men. They just feel sorry for her.

  • KB

    Hey Tim which type are you?? 😜

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